Twilight 2020

So first, brief bit of HOLY FUCK NEW TWILIGHT IN 2020! I’m prepared to go be trash, i’ve got this shit preordered, and will probably not leave the house till I’ve finished it. I’ve seen a lot of things going around about the ethics of giving SMeyer money considering certain sexist things she seems to endorse, her treatment of natives, etc. Frankly, i’m sue I could do whole post on this but right now guys....I’m tired. I got the new this weekend that my father was involved in a motorcycle accident and did not survive. the rest of this week has been a cluster of funeral planning, trying to figure out his estate, family drama, people messaging left and right and...you know, dealing with my own emotions on top of it all. So, quite frankly, I’m going to let myself enjoy this little bit of happiness and not bother being “woke “ for a few days.  I’ve spent time being shamed for what i liked as a teenager, I’m not gonna be drug into that now as an adult. All that being said, it means I had to postpone my liver test and, considering the week I’ve had, I’mma enjoy my last week of not knowing and enjoy a nice sangria while writing this.  Ok, enough me, I know what we’re all here for! _____________________ Today is movie day in class and Bella and Edward are suffering from serious repression, each doing there best to ...not touch the other, you know, in case being that close makes Edward want to EAT her. Like, really can’t wait for Midnight Sun, because if it’s anything like the bits of the draft she had on her site....wheeeew, Eddie really wanted to kill our girl. Like...Murder. Like he was gonna murder the whole damn class if he had to, alright? Boy was HUNGRY. So it’s no surprise the two of them have to sit close without...actually touching. of course, when he drops her off for gym, he traces her cheekbone and...damn if this didn’t seem pretty hot to me when I read it the first time, hell, even now it conjures up those butterflies of first love and how one touch felt like magic and took your breath away. Say what one wants about the writing in these books (and we all know it’s not perfect) but she does a good job of capturing how fucking overwhelming first love (and all those other first) can be. Mike tries to be a good boy and offers to be Bella’s partner in gym, despite the fact she literally hits herself in the head with a racket.... bless and I thought I was uncoordinated. Matt then says how he doesn’t like Bella being with Edward because ”He looks at you like...like you’re something to eat.”   Even Bella is laughing at this and has to run off because it’s fucking hysterical. Like, bless it when poor humans have a moment of clarity in these books, because most mortals come off as hella dumb in this series. Like...maybe not as oblivious as the  denizens of Sunnydale in the Buffyverse but...still pretty unaware. Edward meets her afterwards, and he is pretty pissy knowing what Mike is thinking...but Bella is more ticked because of the fact Edward was listening in in order to spy on her in gym class. She forces him to apologize and wants him promise not to do it again but...he counters by saying she can drive on Saturday instead. And she ...gives in. Dammit Bella, I was rooting for you to tell his ass off more, make him realize what creep he was being but...no, can’t have that, gotta get back to  “A more pressing question”  Which, is this case is just Bella wondering if he’ll tell her now why she can’t watch him hunt. Well, gee Bella, you think it may have something to do with how you’re the most yummy prey he can think of? Maybe? Just a lil bit?  And, of course, it is. Edward lets her know that the hunt mean giving over to instinct...and that his smell would be leading the way.  The two have a stare down where Bella...literally stops breathing?  Like  damn, I’ve lost my breath before but... girl...that’s unhealty. Edward walks her in and tells her tomorrow he’s gonna be the one asking the questions. Oh, goody, more about the human instead of the vampire, right? But it will be nice to know more about the main character. we live in Bella’s head, but that gives us very little input on WHO she was before the book. After all, I don’t spend every day waking up “My name is AJ, that not my real name, just a nickname, i am 29 years old, and I like YA novels because I’m trash, Comic books, because I’m trash, and I’m a crazy cat mom who drinks wine and takes lots of meds.” See what I mean? First person might give more insight to a characters thought process, but as far a letting us into all these bits and pieces, it can fall flat. She goes home, dreams of Edward, avoids answering her father’s questions about Seattle and the dance...and Edward picks her up the next day where he begins to question her. Her favorite color changes from day to day, but today is is Brown, because it’s warm and she..hates the green stuff that grows here. Wow Bella that uh... huh. Odd but, she’s a quirky critter.  Apparently Edward has electric taste in music and has the..same CD Phil gave her(WHAT THE HELL IS IT?) and then we get...skimmed over all the things about books and movies that could have ACTUALLY gave her more personality outside Edward, SMeyerDammit! Instead we get her favorite gemstone being Topaz (his eyes) and how it would probably be onyx in a week. that’s uh...that’a bit much, but again...teenagers man.  We get another quick run through of another movie day in bio, a gym class where Mike refuses to talk to her, and then...more question, most glossed over, though we do get a bit of insight on how Bella feels about her home in Arizona, how she finds it hard to describe why it is so beautiful to her. That i can understand. My childhood home, was not in a beautiful or glamorous area. It wasn’t the largest house on earth, it was very much lived it...but it’s the most beautiful place on earth to me. Because of the memories, because it was the place that made me...so yea, I get Bella here. And then we get the “It’s Twilight” line that explains the whole damn title of the book. It’s the safest time of day for them, blah blah, Bella likes nighttime even though Edward finds it sad and predictable... “Hello Darkeness my old friend...” Yea, sorry, whenever I hear that it reminds me of Edward.  Then, Edward begins to act like a freak and bounces out of there faster than I preordered Midnight Sun. “Another complication.” he says. But what is the complication? Well it’s Jacob rolling up in there....with his daddy in tow. And Billy, Billy does not look happy, in fact, Bella is quite certain-from his look alone- that Billy 100% believes the “legends” of his people. Yea...Billy has a pretty good idea that the Cullens are straight up vampires... and he is not having it. And that’s where we leave off for the day. Next chapter we hit the halfway mark, so that’s gonna be an adventure. Till then, Stay Safe, AJ

So, first of all, HOLY HELL THERE ARE NOW 230 of you. Like damn, I’ve been a DC RPer for years and it took me eons to get that many people across a couple of blogs. Meanwhile, i come back to one of my old fandoms and BAM open arms. Cleary, i was wrong for ever leaving. So, once again, I’ve been sort of ...slow. and I mean, TBH, I am a slow moving creature with these updates anyway, but considering I had to have yet another test ran, and found out that my liver is still showing up enlarged so I have to have ANOTHER test this upcoming week...ehhh, i figure I’m allowed to be a bit useless.(Sidenote: Never get an autoimmune disease, they suck more than Victoria ever could) But then, fuck I saw that SMeyer may finally be granting everyones hopes and dreams with some new Twilight material, and I had the urge to jump back here and immediately cry about it and throw hand sup in the air  because...new content is A+. That being said, if you’re one of the five people i’ve seen who are hoping for a sequel to The Host or The Chemist...I still love you, but I will judge you....and blame you if this isn’t a full version of Midnight Sun or something in the verse....but i will blame with loooove and affection. Alright, on with the Interrogation of Bella Swan! First off, Edwards picks Bella up for school, and it’s...oddly adorable that he seems uncertain when asking if she wants a ride. Granted, Bella points out he hopes she’ll say no but...I find it adorable that he has these normal ,human fears, or rejection. He then tells her that he brought a jacket for her because he doesn’t want her getting sick. and this...this is the kinda overprotection that makes Edward loveable. Not the creepy shit he pulls in alter books, but things like this...it’s nice. He makes Jokes about her not doing 20 questions today, and we see how tongue tied Bella is. We also see that Edward finds Bella’s reactions almost..unnatural and too cool, something that I remarked on a lot in the last couple of chapters, though it seems that Edward is more disturbed by them because he is off balance not being able to read her, while I’m off balance because her mind is....rather unfathomable to me. Then again-and correct me  cause I could be wrong- but isn’t Edward supposed to have a psych degree? Just saying.... They arrive at school and discover the other Cullen’s have take Rosalie’s super expensive convertible to school since Edward is “breaking all the rules”  I also love that Bella calls him out that...no, they don’t blend in, even when trying. Like , come on guys, you’ve lived for a long ass time, you should know how people act by now. Jessica sees Edward and Bella come in together, and Edward let’s Bella know that Jessica will ambush her after class, wanting to know if they are dating...and how she feels about him. Edward tells Bella she can say yes to the first one if that’s ok because it’s the easiest explanation. JESUS EDWARD THAT’S SO DAMN UNROMANTIC. Like come on, at least a proper “Wanna go steady” would have been cute but...nooooooo. Idiot just lost one of the good points I gave him earlier. And...Jessica does just that, wanting to know if their meet up last night was planned, if they were going out again, and if he’d kissed her yet. And then She keeps pestering for details and Bella-being the exact opposite of me and my gossipy friends in every way- does not wanna go into it. Maybe it’s because Edward said he’d be listening, or maybe it’s just because she’s a very private person. Honestly, for a  book told from her POV, she’s still...pretty damn hard to read at times.  Anyway, she tells Jessica she likes Edward”too much, more than he likes me” and then evades more questions by brining up Jessica’s date with Mike from the other day.Since Jessica DOES like to gossip and be nosey and much as me and my friends, this distraction works perfectly, right up until after class when Edward is waiting for Bella. he seems  both amused, and irritated, no doubt from listening in on the conversation. he and Bella go through the lunch line, he buys a ton of food for her -and some for him for show. Bella ask if he an eat human food, and he compares it to eating dirt...which apparently Bella has done-on a dare. Bella, honey, I don’t know who dared you to do this but...babe you need better friends.  Edward sees Jessica watching him and gets pissy again, and reveals the source of his agitation is Bella’s belief that she likes him more than he does her. He wants to know why, and she has two main reasons, one being how “ordinary” she looks, and two being how sometimes it seems like he’s “trying to say goodbye. Edward quickly brushes past the “ordinary” comment with how he knew what the other guys were thinking on her first day. Bella....doesn’t believe it, which is..pretty damn stupid considering literally everyone kept trying to ask her to the dance. Like...Jesus, you may not be a supermodel, and you may be a super klutz, but you are definitely far from plain.  The next bit, Edward admits is true, sometimes he does want to say goodbye...because he wants to protect her. He thinks this means he cares more, because he’d hurt himself to keep her safe. This feels like it could dovetail into a very very important convo, but then Edward breaks it up with jokes about how  keeping her safe is a “full time occupation” and she...literally has the thought of how she could put herself in danger to keep him around. and just, fuck that. Like, listen up, if you ever EVER feel like you have to put yourself in danger to keep someone around, that’s...unhealthy, ok? It means you need to break ties with them, and maybe get a bit of therapy while your at it. Of course, Bella doesn’t have a Sassy Bi Bitch like me to tell her off for this so, you know, this will not be the last time she has some worrying thoughts.... Like about ten seconds later when Edward ask if-instead of going to Seattle- she’d like to spend the day alone with him. He tells her she should tell Charlie to give him some”incentive” to bring her back. Yea Bella, remember, he really wanted to kill you before? That danger is not completely gone. But Is Bella gonna tell her dad? Of course not. Edward is annoyed by this, but instead of, I dunno, dropping by their house and asking Bella to go with him in front of her dad or something he just.... acts pissy for a few minutes. Oh Edward.... She brings up the supposed camping trips they go on, and Edward informs her they are hunting bears. Which...goes over her head for a minute and she...literally sternly tells him bears are not in season. Wow, just.... Bella....honey...not only did that go waaaay over your head but also, you’re gonna be that person? God, this is why you didn’t have friends back home Bella, not the fact that you’re ordinary or clumsy...nope it’s definitely the  fact you went beyond being mom friend to being Cop friend. Edward, meanwhile, earns a bonus point again for talking about how they are careful to hunt in over populated areas because they don’t wanna impact the environment. Damn, that alone makes my teenage crush come back...whoops. What can i say? I’m a sucker for the environmentally conscious.  He tells Bella a ....minuscule amount about how they hunt, comparing how Emmet hunts like a bear(which is his favorite prayer) and how his on hunting mimics a lion(which he loves to hunt mountain lion). I dunno why Edward prefers that-except to make the Lion and Lamb analogy later, but considering what I know about Emmets life, I love that he just...kills angry grizzly for fun...even if my heart breaks for the bears because I’m a loser.  Bella REAAAAALLLLY wants to see Edward hunt and he is like “hell no” She thinks it’s just because it would be “too scary” for her and Edward...blatantly points out that she really could use some fear and if that were the case he’d take her out hunting tonight. And then he...says he’ll tell her way she can’t later, but right now they are running late and lunch is over. Annnnd, that it. Pretty much an more filler chapter, we don’t get much info and it passes pretty quick. Kinda short for a Twilight chapter to. I do love that Bella- who fucking dies at the sight of blood- wants to watch Edward hunt, bless child, I worry about you.  Anyway, lovelies, that it for tonight. Stay safe, AJ

So before I say anything else, I just wanna say, wow...I have so many followers. Thank you all so much! But also, who would have thought that, in the year of our lord 2020 the most popular blog I’ve had would be me reviewing Twilight. The fandom is still very much alive and well! But damn, so many of you. I love you all! So Bella is supposed to give her theories, but she begs for another question to be answered first.  She wants to know how he found here which is....her scent. Charming. Then she is aghast at his theory that her brain is on a different frequency than everyone else’s and that’s why he cannot hear her thoughts. Edward pretty much sums up my thoughts on this with this. “I hear voices in my mind and you’re worried that you’re the freak?” All that being said, again, here we have this mystery about Bella, this aspect of her that could have been built upon and explored. After all, as of yet, the villains have yet to be introduced,  it seems like this is set up to be more of a self contained story and yet.... sigh. This is pretty much  dropped. So after a bit of these, Edward demands to hear her latest theory which is ....vampire. Yes, after 124 pages Bella drops the “V” word and then explains to Edward all about Jacob and how she flirted with poor Jacob to get the information about the “legends” and she came to the vampire conclusion....and then decided she didn’t care . Edward is, honestly kind of appalled that she doesn’t care if he is a murderous little critter. Like....bless him, he knows that he is trash sometimes and is very concerned when other’s don’t see it. Side note: Edward also feels sorry for Jacob, because , bless , the poor boy did not deserve this. We get the “How long have you been seventeen line” and I honestly love how Edward is just like “Yea....done that for a while “ And then they go through the  myths and facts of vampires. They don’t burn in the sun, no sleeping in coffins. And he doesn’t sleep, at all, ever. In fact he seems wistful about the idea . Kinda makes you feel sorry for him for a minute. Which ...i go back and forth with Edward, tbh. Sometimes I love him..other times I wanna throttle him. It’s a tough road. So then he, of course, brings up the fact that, you know....vampires have very very special diets. Bella tells him that Jacob mentioned his family doesn’t nom nom on people. Edward points out that, yes, they do try to avoid people but they are still, you know, dangerous. of course, Bella has the self preservation of a capybara ...hell, at least they can hide in water, Bella just....dives right into danger every time. She’s like my cat that tries to jump on the dog that chases her and nips at her on the daily. no self preservation, nada. Course, Bella at least is going after a hot vampire. My cat is just...not right. So Edward explains he doesn’t  want to be a monster, the Cullen’s “vegetarian” diet, and the fact that sometimes it’s harder than others to keep from biting humans. And oh, Bella, honey, he might have told you he wanted to kill you but, you have NO idea how close you came to being Lunch.  Bella clues Edward into the fact that she’s noticed how his eyes change when he’s hungry. Which he finds amusing, but then...then he explains how it “makes him nervous” to be away from her. Now, it kinda makes sense from Edwards point of view, because this girl is...well she’s kinda taken over his brain. Her smell drives him nuts and yet he feels protective of her because she NEARLY DIES EVERY FIVE SECONDS. as he points out when he sees the scrapes on her hands.  Again, this could have been a really neat plot, him being destined to be the one to either save her or kill her...but no....not that. Because, instead, we get Bella also being anxious when she doesn’t see him because.... teenage hormones? Idk...i get being upset when you don’t see your crush but the anxiety bit is kinda over the top, especially when she starts FUCKING CRYING when he points out that it’s one thing for him to be fixated on her and another for him to drag her into it. *sighs* Maybe this is a me thing, I dunno, but crying makes...no sense to be at this part. If it were supposed to be the rush of all the night’s events catching up to her...sure, but over this? This girl was completely unfazed 5 minutes after being rescued from a possible gang rape, but is crying over this? I don’t get it, I really don’t. I know I’m basically the worst at reading emotions, and I really don’t understand people a lot of the time but this...... seriously, if anyone has any idea on how her brain works...drop me a line? Cause I’m...really at a loss for understanding this part. Like maybe it’s because I’m a #dead-inside millennial, or maybeI’m a robot , but the emotional trainwreck that is Bella.....yikes. Edward apologies for making Bella have an random crying spell, and then ask her what she was thinking when she was nearly attacked-cause, you know, bringing  up trauma is a great way to make someone feel better/s. Like, come on Edward, you’ve been alive for a long ass time, and yet you really suck at people. Apparently Bella thought about trying to fight and scream because she....falls down alot when running. Edward says he’s fighting fate trying to keep her alive and i’m just like???? “Dude...compassion??? She almost ...fucking hell.’ I am a bit frustrated with these children.  Edward promises to be in school tomorrow and then ask Bella to promise not to go into the woods alone because ‘he’s not always the most dangerous thing out there.” Bella...you’ve been nothing but curious this whole time, but when he says “Let’s just leave it at that.” you have no questions? None? You’ve had it confirmed vampires are real and one is telling you there is worst stuff out there and you just....let it go? Like I get we’re setting things up for a sequel but...... come on, it’s a bit lazy for her not to prod a bit.  Also, does this mean Edward was stalking her when she went into the woods that morning to? Jesus...   He tells her to sleep well  and then we get a bit on how...nice his breath smells. Which, i know, it’s all part of his apex predator self to draw people in but it’s still a weird thing to read about.  She gets inside, takes a shower and realizes she’s freezing and begins shaking and trembling. she talks about her mind trying to suppress things and, for a brief minute, I think she’s actually going to have a ...reaction to everything that happened. Now, mind you, I don’t want her to be a shrinking violet, but her emotional responses are so ...over the place. She cries when Edward isn’t around, or when he points out he’s dangerous... but when she is put in actual danger, it rolls off of her. Gotta say it confuses me but...what do i know? I can watch horror movies till kingdom come, ready mystery novels, see medical gore and autopsy with no problem but I cry every damn time a pet dies in a movie...or music video. (I’m looking at you”Happier” by Bastille) So she’s not freaking out over the days evens, no, instead we’ve getting one of the most famous (and sometimes infamous) lines from the series.  “About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” Imma...just need a sec to unpack this here. Obviously we know he’s a vampire and it’s pretty obvious he wants to eat her (and not in the fun way) but the last bit.... In love with him...oof. I know teen love comes on fast and hard but this...you’ve only had a few actual conversations with him, and even fewer have been him not being a douche. Do I think she’s in LUST with him? Definitely.  IS she in awe of him saving her life all the time? Of course. Intrigued because...vampire? Oh hell yea. But...you’re not in love with him Bella. Do I think she is later? Of course. But at this moment, I think it’s way more infatuation than love. She knows very little about him, in fact, with the exception of the vampire bit, I know more about a stranger from their facebook page than what she knows about him in this moment.  Edward has stalked Bella enough that he knows everything about her. And while that brings up a whole fuck ton of other issues, at least it means he knows enough about her to have genuine feelings (as creepy as his behavior may be)  But Bella, you’re not in love...not yet. Alright guys, i know this one was a bit more ranty then some of my other’s and this may turn some people off , but i said from the start I was gonna be honest about the good, the bad, and my feelings on it. I don’t care if people disagree, in fact, I welcome discussion. If you wanna message me and talk about certain bits, go for it! Just, make it clear if it’s a question/conversation you wanna have in private or something you’re cool with me sharing on the blog to futher discussion. Alright guys, love you all and , until next time,  Stay safe!

Look at me, doing the big girl thing and writing my blog instead of just reblogging twilight things. whoops. Tonight (on my new computer thank God) we’re going on a magical journey, to Port Angeles.Bella calls it a beautiful tourist trap. I’ve never been so, we’ll take her word for it. The ride there apparently goes super fast because Jessica drives super fast (not as fast as Edward, we’ll discover.) On the ride they discuss....boys. Jessica is super into Mike and Bella is glad she played match maker. Angela is not into Eric and doesn’t wanna discuss her type. (I know she isn’t, but Imma pretend she’s cagey cause she’s into a girl...makes things more interesting.) Bella confesses that she’s never had a boyfriend or anything even close to one, and the other girls are shocked considering how popular she is at Fork’s High. We’re then told that Tyler has told EVERYONE he’s taking Bella to prom. Wow, just wow. Can we just take moment to WISH we had that level of confidence and yet...be glad we don not have Tyler’s stupidity.  Besides this though, I think they fact Bella has never had any real relationship is just...so important to this book, and the series as a whole. There is nothing like first love, when we have that moment where we first picture having a life with someone. We fall hard and fast, and it normally  burns out just as quickly.  As much as many of Bella’s obsessive moments annoy me, I have to remember the raging emotions of being a teenager and first love/lust. I have to remind myself of this because in like a chapter or two she’s “I’M IN LOVE” and it will make me cringe. The girls find their dresses super quick (thank god, because if I had to read too much of that....) and while Angela is picking out shoes, Bella ask if it’s normal for the Cullens to vanish all the time, and she brings up how they all go backpacking and junk. WHY COULDN”T I HAVE WENT TO THIS SCHOOL. Shit, I worried about missing too many days because i was sick and the Cullens skip out always. I think Carlise is paying them off, just saying. Since dress shopping went fast, the other girls wanna walk by the bay, but Bella prefers to go to the bookstore, alone because she spends too much time in there. GIRL SAME. I could live in a large enough bookstore. But here’s the thing, Bella doesn’t know where the bookstore is, doesn’t ask anyone, just...wonders around this town alone that she HS NO CLUE HOW TO GET AROUND. What the actual fuck? I’d barely wonder my hometown alone after dark, much less a place I didn’t know. And this is a time when cellphones weren’t as prevalent.... plus, Bella, you are danger prone as shit. Maybe invest in pepper spray? A taser? Pocket Knife?  So she finds this book store , but decides it’s not what she needs because it’s full of crystals and New Agey things, complete with an aging hippie working the counter. I’m sorry, if I was convinced there was a vampire in my midst, a store with new age themes with a witchy older woman working there is EXACTLY where i would go.  Who else is even going to ENTERTAIN the idea that this could be real? Ugh, this is one bit of writing that doesn’t make sense. Maybe Stephanie was afraid it would be too interesting? So Bella wonders around and gets creeped out by a few guys catcalling her. Of course, in typical Bella form, she makes a wrong turn and ends up in the “bad side” of town. She runs, realizes these guys are following-and eventually herding her...she does mention Pepper spray, that she left home, gdi Bella. Basically, she’s in every girl’s worst nightmare, until , what should appear to save her, but a shiny silver volvo? Bella gets in the car with Deux ex Edward who is...not a happy camper. In fact he orders her to talk about something unimportant while he calms down. She talks about how she wants to hit Tyler so he will stop trying to take her out. Edward is not any calmer. He drives her to the restaurant where she is supposed to meet Jessica and Angela, and then ask if he can join them. And Angela reveals that she’s already ate.  Can i just say, WHAT THE FUCK? You all act like you were worried about your friend and yet...you had dinner. Your friend.....was alone....at night...in an unfamiliar town...and you ate dinner. Yea, fuck you both. -End rant- Edwards offers to drive Bella home to ensure she eats first, and she is ALL for the idea, naturally. Bella is a bit jealous of a pretty Hostess, and Edward.....fucking slips the Hostess a tip to move them to a booth. Ok, ok, look, this is a restaurant high schools could afford to eat at. Not some fucking exclusive ass place. Hell, that didn’t even need reservations , and Bella mentions that the booths are empty. I worked in a place like this, all ya gotta do is ask to move tables and they’ll do it. Bella thinks the hostess is “dazzled” by Edward but, honey, no, she is dazzled by this fool giving her money for a free service.  They order food and drinks and Bella tells Edward she won’t go into  shock because she’s “Always been very good at repressing unpleasant things.” Real talk? I’m kinda worried about her here. Like...she was nearly a victim of gang rape and she’s.... just like “Yea I can repress unpleasant things.” Like...like she’s talking about having a bad hair day. Hell, she was more upset about the snow the other day than this. I....hmmm, yea we’re never given any hints Bella has went through trauma, and different people handle situations differently but the way she just brushed it off ...it’s something.  She is very thirsty and cold, so he gives her his jacket and for a moment the shivering and stuff feels like a normal reaction but then.... she just begins to talk about ho she feels safe with him, makes comments about his eyes color and mood, etc. Now, here’s the thing, I too am a repressor, but I’ve pretty much trained myself to be that way because I have a mood disorder and for a long time was completely ruled by a mercurial temperament. So when I’m in a situation where I’m very worked up, I tend to latch on to any and everything to distract my self. Sometimes, i wondered if Bella was doing this to, but...we’re in her head, and it seems like she really is more interested in solving the mystery that is Edward than about her own self preservation.... She agrees that she will tell him her theory on what he is...if he answers a few questions. He agrees, Bella comes up with a ridiculous “Hypothetical situation”  of a man who can read minds with few exceptions , to which Edward corrects it to “one person”  She tells him she can be trusted with his secrets and he says he’s not sure if he even has a choice anymore. Then, he says he was wrong, that she wasn’t just a magnet for accidents , but for trouble. He then admits he was following her and that was why he was in Port Angeles. he says he’s never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and Bella ask if he thought her number was up with the van and he was just interfering with fate by keeping her alive. Edward tells her her number was up when they first met, and she realizes he really wanted to kill her when they met.  Now, we the reader know that Bella’s figured out he was a vampire. But, Edward doesn’t know this yet. So here he is , all but telling this girl (who by all accounts should still think he is somewhat human) and letting her know he thought about killing her. Wow Eddie, real smart plan. But, i wanna go beyond that. See, with Bella, we’re given a girl who is fairly ordinary by all accounts, yet a vampire who can read all minds, can’t get a thing out of her’s. She’s also been marked for death since basically day one . He wanted to kill her, van accident, attempted gang rape, later James wants her dead..... like it’s some serious Final Destination vibes -and if you haven’t seen those films, at least watch the first one.In fact, she’s so danger prone that Edward is literally stalking her to keep her alive.  So Bella seems extraordinary in this way (it’s even more interesting later when Midnight Sun gives the tidbit that her father’s brain is also a bit...different) But yet, we’re never given any pay off on this. (and don’t say her Breaking Dawn shield power is a payoff because it doesn’t explain why she is like this as a human-I have a similar complaint about Alice’s power later)  But no, we get the love story, that Bella is more of a passive participant in. Twilight- and the rest of the series- is supposed to be Bella’s story and yet, much of it isn’t really about her. Things more happen *to* her , something that other’s have commented on. A really interesting take on her passivity is explained really well in a vid I’ll ling below. Edward goes on to say that, because he couldn’t read Bella’s mind, he was keeping tabs on her through Jessica’s and when she left them, he panicked and basically scanned the minds of everyone around the area to keep up with her. Then he read the minds of the skeevy creeps and...that’s that. This time he flat out says that it was hard to leave the men alive, and he stayed with her because he knew if she was with Angela and Jessica it would be very hard for him to not go back and finish the men off. Again, Edward, Baby, not something most people just...say to people they barely know but...ok.  And that’s pretty much the end of that, they leave the restaurant, they get in the car, Bella continues to ...smell his jacket and in the car Edward is like “K, time of theories” Shit is getting real now folks, Eddie’s being more honest, him and Bella are getting closer. Soon we’ll get to meet the other family members and I’ll get to complain about the villians being introduced oh so late in the game, when we have all the markings of a great story here with Bella’s unique mind blocking gift, how she seems to be all but marked for death.... the Native Legends of the vampires and wolves.... it all seems like that was leading somewhere but then it gets dragged out in some....not always great ways.  but more on that later.  For now, Stay safe ( AND STAY IN IF YOUR IN A QUARANTINE AREA) For those interested, this vid does a pretty interesting defense of how passive Bella often is, it’s a good watch.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eOr58c9rRg