Under the Sea

try building it on land next time you stupid italians

^^^ try to fuck off you ignorant bitch. non sai di merda neanche se ne mangi un secchio, diocane

Whoa mama mia cunt

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

Male positivity? In my branding? It’s more likely than you think

I love this

Y E S. FINALLY

AXE realized their target demographic are the preteen and teen boys who over-apply their product and decided to do something good for these impressionable youths

today we will eat at deodorant

Stop…fetishizing….huge age…gaps They’re super toxic and…creepy..and…PREDATOR LIKE !!!!

fuck you got against wideset teeth yo

What

i aint read this right my bad

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

Me: *is feeling bad* Also me: *can’t think of a way to make it funny* Brain: can’t talk about it then

this is…. meta as fuck

w a s d 

**walks in a small circle**