Typical

#funny he was an anti-monarchist because this is some king shit

I- I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT

if you as a father dont think your kid working with robots is cool as all fuck then you not only failed as a father but you failed at understanding what awesome is

TFW your boyfriend is a 17th Century Catholic vampire who is NOT OVER™ the Glorious Revolution of 1688.

Ok i was expecting red flags and shit but I’m not sure what color this flag is but there’s a flag and I’m confused.

This aged well

“The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.”

unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

THE ANSWER IS, WAS, AND WILL BE A BAGEL THERE MAY BE THINGS ON THE BAGEL DEPENDING ON IF I WANT TO OPEN THE FRIDGE

oldest daughters have more de-escalation training than cops do

You can identify a fake redneck by their passionate support of “blue lives matter.” Real rednecks have been in at least one physical fight and/or high-speed chase with police officers and would do it again

adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”