john carter your big brown eyes could kill a man

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john carter your big brown eyes could kill a man

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shawn fucking hatosy.
RELEASE THE CUTS
THEY GOT SHAWN ON QUINN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
CONTAINS MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE PITT SEASON 2 FINALE!!!!!
Guysssss. Robby hanging up his stethoscope in baby Jane Does room being a direct parallel to season one with him on the roof with his stethoscope on the railingâŠ.omgâŠ
In season 1, we see him standing on the ledge on the roof with his stethoscope hung up on the railing behind him, almost as a way of representing him giving in to his suicidal tendencies. To keep it short it was used as a way to represent death and simultaneously represent submission.
In season 2, after the whole monologue with Abbott, where Robby admits watching so many people die has been slowly killing him, we see Robby walk into the pedes room where baby Jane Doe is.
I also want to point out that this is the same room he watched yet another person, and not just any person but his own mentor, Dr Adamson, die.
He walks in and sets his stethoscope down on the rod above the crib sheâs in, and then picks her up and starts talking to her to calm her down.
Whiles heâs talking to her heâs telling her she has so much life to live, so many people to love, and so many things to see, and also that sheâs going to be ok. In this scene itâs almost like heâs repeating it to himself, accepting the fact that he will be ok but also the fact that he needs help.
In this case, the stethoscope on the railing was a way to represent submission, not to death but to staying alive, in a room that contains life, even though it was once a place full of death (Dr. Adamson and the Pitt fest shooting).
Anyways guys thatâs it, I love this show so much I canât wait for season 3!!!!

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đđšđđĄ đđČđ„đ đđŹ đđšđĄđ§ đđđ«đđđ« | 1.03 "đđšđąđ§đ đđšđŠđ" đđ (đđđđ)
my baby âčïž
right ok so he is actually all i can think about
NOAH WYLE as JOHN TRUMAN CARTER III ER 5.01 | "Day for Knight"
god i miss the beard sm đ
"someone must have been in a bad way to walk away from you, little one" KNOWING HIS MOTHER LEFT HIM OH ROBBY

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Noelle is much stronger than me. If a handsome doctor offered me a free three-month trip (expenses covered and letâs be real sex probably included) I'd hand in my notice before he even finished the sentence.
Don't care if he only asked because he's scared to be lonely. Don't care if he's a little bit on the suicidal side. Three months of traveling the country with no work?
HELL YES DR ROBBY I'M IN.
Holding a human heart in your hands while looking your mom dead in the eye. Filming ICE & running off to post on your tiktok with thousands of followers so people see them arresting a fucking ER nurse. Comforting a family through the death of a loved one. fuck yeah javadi belongs in the ER
The camera focusing on Robby as Al-Hashimi asked Brenda "have you ever thought about hurting yourself?" The fact that Micah was riding his tricycle before he got heatstroke. "Every time I looked over, he was on his trike, and then he just... wasn't." Al-Hashimi being the one to pull Brenda out of the road. Al-Hashimi asking if Robby generally leaves right after his shift.
Is it Still Casual Now?
Michael âRobbyâ Robinovitch x Reader
Summary: After months of pretending this is casual, one quiet morning changes everything when Robby finally stays. What starts as coffee in the kitchen becomes the confession neither of you has been brave enough to say out loud.
WC: 3444
Tags: friends with benefits to lovers, mutual pining, confession, he stayed, morning after
Robby wakes before the alarm, like he always does, and for one disorienting second he doesnât know where he is.
Then the room settles around him in pieces.
The chair near the wall with his shirt thrown over the back. The thin line of morning pushing around the curtains. The smell of your detergent in the sheets, warm skin and sleep and the faint trace of last night still hanging in the air.
Your apartment.
Your bed.
You.
He turns his head, and there you are beside him, still asleep, one arm tucked beneath your pillow, hair fallen across your cheek in a way that would probably annoy you if you were awake enough to fix it. The blanket is twisted around your legs, slipping low at your shoulder. Your mouth is soft with sleep. Your breathing is slow, deep, completely unguarded.
Robby looks at you for too long.
He knows that even while heâs doing it.
This is not new. Thatâs the problem.
This is not the first time heâs woken up in your bed with morning still waiting beyond the window. It is not the first time heâs let himself have these few stolen seconds, watching you sleep, feeling the last warmth of you still caught against him, pretending for the space of a breath that this is something he gets to keep.
Then he leaves.
Thatâs how this works.
Thatâs the rhythm the two of you built without ever saying it out loud.
Friends first.
Then friends who crossed a line one night and never quite uncrossed it.
Friends with benefits, if either of you had ever been stupid enough to say it plainly.
Easy. Casual. Contained.
That was the lie of it.
Because maybe the nights were easy.
The nights let you pretend.
It was the mornings that made liars out of both of you.
Robby always left before you woke up.
Always.
By the time you opened your eyes, he was gone. No confrontation. No awkwardness. No daylight left behind to ask what the hell this was becoming.
He told himself he was doing the decent thing.
Keeping it uncomplicated.
Keeping you safe from wanting more than he could give.
But lying there in your bed now, with your hand loose against the sheet where heâd been only moments ago, he can feel the truth of it like something sharp under his ribs.
He wasnât protecting either of you.
He was hiding.
Robby exhales and carefully pushes himself up.
The mattress shifts beneath him. You stir, a small restless movement, and his whole body stills on instinct. But you donât wake. You only settle again, breathing out softly into the pillow.
He swings his legs over the side of the bed.
Phone on the nightstand.
Jeans on the floor.
Shirt over the chair.
Same routine.
Same escape.
He reaches for his clothes and dresses in silence, every movement practiced enough to feel almost cruel now. Shirt first. Buttons. Jeans. Belt. His boots in his hand as he crosses the bedroom.
At the doorway, he looks back.
Youâve shifted toward the warmth he left behind.
One hand is stretched into the space where he was.
The bed is already cooling around the shape of his absence.
Like he was never there.
Something inside him twists so hard he has to brace one hand against the doorframe.
Because suddenly he sees it from the outside. Sees the shape of every morning he erased himself before it could become real. Every time he left you with nothing but cool sheets and silence and the unspoken message that whatever this was, it didnât belong in daylight.
His jaw tightens.
He turns and walks out anyway.
Through the hall.
Past the couch.
To the front door.
This is what he always does.
He sets his boots down. Pulls them on. Picks up his jacket. His fingers close around the doorknob.
And stop.
The metal is cool against his palm.
Behind him, your apartment is silent. The kind of silence fragile enough to break under one honest thought.
He stares at the door.
All he has to do is turn the knob.
Walk out.
Protect the shape of things.
Keep it where it has always been, manageable, deniable, safe.
But standing there with his hand on your door, Robby realizes that if he leaves now, it wonât be because this is casual.
It wonât be because this is simple.
Itâll be because heâs a coward.
Because heâs afraid of what it means that he doesnât just want your nights anymore.
He wants your mornings.
He wants your coffee cups in the sink and your sleepy voice in the kitchen and the look on your face when you realize heâs still there.
He wants the part of you he keeps abandoning before the day even begins.
The realization lands so clean and brutal it almost makes him laugh.
Instead he drops his forehead forward for one second, eyes shutting hard.
âJesus Christ,â he mutters under his breath.
Because there it is.
The truth heâs been outrunning for months.
He is in love with you.
Not halfway. Not almost. Not in some vague, conveniently unnamed way he can keep folded up inside himself.
Fully.
Badly.
Hopelessly enough that the thought of walking out your door one more time feels unbearable.
His hand slips off the knob.
He stands there breathing hard for a second like heâs just outrun something, even though he hasnât moved at all.
Then he turns around.
He goes into the kitchen.
He fills the coffee maker with water because you set it up last night but never turned it on. He knows where the filters are. Knows which cabinet you keep the mugs in. Knows how much coffee you like in the pot because heâs been around you all enough to know all of that and still kept pretending this was temporary.
The machine sputters softly to life.
The smell of brewing coffee begins to spread through the apartment.
Robby braces both hands against the counter and stares down at it, his pulse still running too hard.
He has no speech ready.
No neat explanation.
Just the fact that he couldnât leave.
And maybe thatâs enough.
A floorboard creaks softly behind him.
Then another.
He turns.
Youâre standing in the kitchen doorway in just a T-shirt, bare legs, sleep still clinging to you. Your hair is a wreck. One hand curls lightly around the edge of the doorway, like your body hasnât fully decided whether to come in or retreat.
You blink at him.
Then at the coffee pot.
Then back at him again.
For a second you say nothing.
The look on your face shifts from confusion to disbelief so slowly it hurts to watch.
âWhat are you doing?â
Your voice is rough with sleep.
Robby could make a joke. He almost does. Habit reaches for it on instinct.
But the moment is too sharp for that now.
âMaking coffee,â he says.
Your brow pulls faintly. âThatâs not what I meant.â
âI know.â
The answer is quiet.
Your hand slips from the doorway. You walk into the kitchen slowly, barefoot on the floor, still looking at him like heâs stepped outside some rule you thought the two of you understood.
âYouâre still here.â
It comes out careful.
Not hopeful. Not yet.
Just stunned.
âYeah.â
You fold your arms loosely over yourself. Not defensive exactly. More like youâre holding yourself together.
âYou never stay.â
Every word in that sentence lands.
Robby nods once. âI know.â
Something flickers across your face then. Brief, but he sees it. Hurt held too tightly for too long. The kind that learned how to make itself quiet.
âDid something happen?â you ask.
âNo.â
âThen why are you still here?â
The question hangs between you.
Not loud. Not dramatic. But heavier than anything either of you has said in months.
Robby looks at you, really looks, and sees all the things youâre trying not to show. The caution. The hope you donât trust. The awful discipline of somebody trying very hard not to ask for more than she thinks sheâs allowed.
âI was leaving,â he says.
Your expression changes immediately, shoulders stiffening just slightly. âOkay.â
He hates that one word. Hates the way it sounds like youâre already preparing yourself for the version of this that hurts.
âI got dressed. Got all the way to the door.â
You donât move.
âAnd?â
He drags a hand back through his hair, breath leaving him slow. âAnd I realized if I walked out again, it wasnât gonna be because this is casual.â
Your eyes lock on his.
âIt was gonna be because I was scared.â
The kitchen goes still.
Your lips part, but no sound comes out at first.
âScared of what?â you ask finally.
His laugh is soft and humorless. âOf how much this stopped being casual a long time ago.â
Your throat works.
You stare at him, and for one awful second he thinks maybe heâs already said too much. Maybe heâs shattered the one arrangement he knew how to survive.
Then you ask, quieter now, âWhat does that mean?â
Robby takes a step toward you.
Then another.
He stops close enough to feel the heat of your body, close enough that if either of you leaned an inch, the space would vanish.
âIt means Iâm tired of leaving before morning like what happens between us only counts in the dark.â His voice roughens. âIt means I got to your door and realized I was about to walk away from the best thing in my life because I didnât know how to stand still long enough to admit what you are to me.â
Your breathing catches.
His hand lifts slowly.
He gives you time to stop him.
You donât.
His palm settles against your cheek, warm and gentle and almost shaking, his thumb resting beneath your eye.
Your lashes flutter at the touch.
Robby swallows.
âIâm sorry,â he says.
Your brows pull together. âFor what?â
âFor every morning I left before you woke up.â His thumb moves once, a trembling stroke over your skin. âFor every time I made this feel smaller than it is because I didnât know how to survive how big it had gotten.â
Your eyes shine immediately.
âRobbyââ
His hand tightens lightly against your face.
âMichael,â he says quietly.
The word stops you.
You blink. âWhat?â
His forehead lowers until it nearly rests against yours, but not quite. Heâs close enough that his breath warms your mouth when he speaks.
âMichael,â he says again, softer this time.
The air leaves your lungs in a shallow rush.
âYou want me to call you that?â
A faint, strained smile touches his mouth, gone almost as soon as it appears. His eyes donât leave yours.
âMost people donât.â
âWhy?â
He looks wrecked standing there. Open in a way youâve never seen him. All the usual ease stripped away, leaving something rawer underneath.
âBecause most people donât get this version of me.â
Your hand lifts without thinking and presses flat to the center of his chest. His heart is pounding hard enough that you feel it immediately through the thin fabric of his shirt.
âAnd I do?â you whisper.
His eyes search yours with something so naked in them it makes your own chest ache.
âYeah,â he says. âYou do.â
The tears hit before you can stop them.
Not dramatic. Just a sudden bright sting in your eyes, because that one sentence lands deeper than all the others. Not just a confession. An offering.
Robby sees it happen and his whole face shifts.
âHey,â he murmurs.
You laugh once, shaky and overwhelmed. âYou cannot just do that to me.â
His thumb catches the tear before it falls. âDo what?â
âThat.â Your fingers twist in his shirt. âStand here and say things like that like you havenât spent months destroying me one morning at a time.â
Pain flashes across his face immediately.
He closes his eyes briefly, forehead finally touching yours.
âI know.â
âNo, I donât think you do.â Your voice breaks. âI donât think you know what it was like waking up and finding you gone every single time and telling myself it was fine because if I admitted it hurt, then Iâd have to admit I wanted you to stay.â
His breath catches against your skin.
âAnd I didnât know if you wanted that,â you whisper. âI didnât know if asking would make me stupid.â
Robbyâs hand slides into your hair at the back of your head, holding you there like he canât bear even an inch of distance now.
âIt wouldnât have made you stupid.â
âThen what would it have made me?â
His answer comes low and immediate.
âBraver than me.â
You go still.
He lifts his head just enough to look at you again.
Thereâs no shield left on his face now.
Nothing casual. Nothing easy.
âI love you.â
The words land like a blow.
Not because you never hoped for them.
Because you did.
Because some part of you has been hoping for them every morning you woke alone and hated yourself for it.
But hearing them now, from him, like this, in your kitchen, with tears wet in your lashes and his hand buried in your hair and his full name still echoing between you, is almost too much to absorb.
You stare at him.
His chest rises and falls sharply.
âI love you,â he says again, rougher this time, like he needs to force it fully into the room so neither of you can hide from it anymore. âI got to the door and realized if I left again, I was leaving because Iâm in love with you and I was too scared to let it be real in daylight.â
Your mouth opens.
Nothing comes out.
His hand at your waist tightens.
âIf you donât feel the same, Iâll deal with that,â he says, voice fraying at the edges. âBut Iâm done acting like youâre just someone I end up in bed with sometimes. Iâm done pretending this is something I can walk away from every morning and not feel like Iâm gutting myself.â
That does it.
You fist both hands in his shirt and hold on like itâs the only thing keeping you upright.
âStop,â you whisper.
His whole body stills. âWhat?â
âStop talking like thereâs any chance I donât love you back.â
He goes absolutely motionless.
Every bit of air leaves the room.
Your face crumples with the force of finally saying it. Finally. After all the swallowed mornings and careful silences and nights you let yourself pretend were enough.
âI love you too,â you say, voice shaking. âI have loved you for so long that it started to feel humiliating.â
Something breaks open in his face.
Not neatly.
Not cleanly.
Just all at once.
He exhales like heâs been underwater for months and somebody finally dragged him up into air.
âWhat?â he breathes.
You laugh through tears, helpless. âYeah.â
âHow long?â
âLong enough that every time I woke up and found you gone, it hurt.â
The pain of that truth visibly hits him.
His eyes shut for one second.
Then his arms are around you.
Not tentative.
Not careful.
He pulls you into him hard enough to steal your breath, one arm locking around your waist, the other hand cradling the back of your head as if heâs afraid you might disappear if he loosens his hold.
You make a soft sound against his chest and cling back just as tightly.
He buries his face in your hair.
âIâm sorry,â he says again, wrecked with it. âGod, Iâm sorry.â
You shake your head against him even while tears keep slipping free. âYouâre here now.â
That lands.
You feel it land in the way he holds you tighter.
Yeah.
He is.
For the first time, he is.
You tip your face up, and the second he sees you, he kisses you.
Itâs nothing like the other kisses.
Not because they were never good. They were. Warm and easy and familiar and hungry in all the ways that let both of you pretend this was mostly physical.
This kiss tears that lie apart.
He kisses you like a man whoâs been starving in plain sight.
Slow for one breath. Then deeper. His hand in your hair tilting your face up, his mouth moving over yours with a tenderness so intense it hurts. Then the tenderness turns urgent, not frantic, but desperate in that emotional way that has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with finally being allowed to mean what he feels.
Your fingers slide up into his hair.
His arm around your waist pulls you flush against him, like he needs your body to understand what his words just did.
You kiss him back with everything in you.
Months of wanting.
Months of pretending not to.
Months of waking up and telling yourself the ache in your chest was just habit, just loneliness, just bad timing.
It was him.
It was always him.
He makes a low, broken sound into your mouth when your hand tightens in his hair, and the sound nearly undoes you all over again.
When he finally pulls back, neither of you gets very far.
His forehead presses to yours.
Your mouths are still close enough to share breath.
Youâre both breathing hard.
His thumb strokes once, twice, along the line of your spine under the shirt.
âSay it again,â he murmurs.
You smile through your tears, shaky and full.
âWhat? Michael?â
A startled laugh escapes him, breathless and wrecked.
âNo.â
You kiss him once, quick and soft and intimate enough to make his eyes close. Then you whisper against his mouth, âI love you.â
His whole face softens.
Not subtly.
Not a little.
Completely.
The kind of softness only love could pull out of someone like him.
âI love you too,â he says. âAnd I donât want one more morning where I act like I donât.â
Your throat tightens all over again.
You touch his face carefully, like it matters now in a way it didnât before. Like every inch of him matters.
âSo what happens now?â you ask.
He doesnât hesitate this time.
âNow I stay.â
The simplicity of it crushes you more than the confession almost did.
Not because itâs small.
Because it isnât.
You know what it costs him. What it means. How much history is packed into that one sentence.
He stays.
Not slips out.
Not disappears.
Not leaves before daylight can make him honest.
Stays.
âFor breakfast?â you ask, because if you donât break the tension for one second you might start crying all over again.
That gets the smallest huff of laughter out of him.
âYeah. For breakfast.â
âAnd after breakfast?â
He leans down and kisses you once more, slower now, warm and lingering and full of something settled.
âAfter breakfast,â he says against your mouth, âI take you out properly.â
Your eyebrows lift. âProperly?â
âA real date,â he says, like the phrase pains him. âOne that doesnât begin at midnight and end with me sneaking out before sunrise.â
You laugh, and this time the sound is wet and happy and real.
âOkay.â
His hand slides to the small of your back and keeps you there.
âOkay?â
âYeah.â
A smile breaks over his face, small, almost disbelieving, but there.
âOkay.â
You stay like that for another long moment in the middle of the kitchen, arms wrapped around each other, morning building slowly around you. The coffee machine clicks off. Somewhere outside, a car door slams. The world is waking up.
Neither of you lets go.
Eventually you tip your head back enough to look at him and say softly, âMichael.â
His eyes close.
Just for a second.
When they open again, thereâs something unbearably tender in them. Something private and raw and entirely yours.
âYeah?â he murmurs.
You smile, thumb brushing lightly over his jaw.
âIâm glad you stayed.â
His hand tightens at your waist.
And the look he gives you then is so full of love it makes the whole room feel altered by it.
âI think,â he says quietly, âIâve been wanting to hear that for a very long time.â
You kiss him again before you can cry.
And this time when he kisses you back, thereâs no desperation left in it.
Only certainty.
Only warmth.
Only the steady, breathtaking reality of being chosen in the light.
And when morning finally finishes arriving around the two of you, it doesnât feel like the end of the night.
It feels like the first honest thing youâve ever had.
Iâm fucking sobbing this was AMAZINGGG
How it feels to genuinely enjoy the Pitt and not get caught up on every little bad thing a character has done because theyâre all complex human beings and none of them are truly evil like everyone in this fandom seems to think

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hold still ; michael ârobbyâ robinavitch
summary: you have a sex dream about your attending that leaves you hot, flustered, late for work, and completely off your game. then things go from bad to worse when gossip spreads and the entire emergency department finds outâincluding dr. robby.
notes: i honestly haven't been this excited or motivated to write in forever, and i just really hope it doesn't suck. this one feels a little different, kind of like... it just flowed? my writing feels less mechanical, i think? i don't know, i feel like i've been stuck in a rut and even though this isn't perfect, it feels like i finally enjoy writing again. i put so much love into this and tried so hard to get the characters right, i just really hope you guys enjoy! please, please let me know what you think!
warnings: more sitcom than drama (just let them have a good day, i beg you), swearing, italics, reader can drive, medical descriptions, blood, medical procedure descriptions (it's not super graphic though), most definitely incorrect medical information (my friend is a doctor, i am not), implied age gap but never specified, very likely incorrect tagalog (i'm sorry in advance), reader doesn't know tagalog, implied smut but nothing explicit, reader gets injured (and stitches), and making out (on shift, lol, nothing graphic but still, mdni please).
word count: 12763
You wake all at once.
Not slowly, not gently, but with one sharp inhale like youâve surfaced from deep water.
For a second you donât know where you are. Your room is too warm, the air too heavy, every inch of your skin flushed and slick with sweat. Heat clings to you, your heart pounding wildly in your ears, sheets twisted tight around your legs, and for one disorienting moment you swear you can still feel himâwarm hands, breath close, the dizzying pull of something forbidden and overwhelming.
The echo of his voice follows you up from sleep, low and wrecked and impossibly real.
Dr. Robby.
Your stomach flips.
âFuck,â you mumble into your pillow, already mortified, already knowing your brain has crossed a line it absolutely shouldnât have this time.
Because it didnât feel like a dream. It still doesnât. Fragments flash behind your eyelidsâthe way he touched you, his voice softer than youâve ever heard it, the teasing burn of stubble where he shouldnât have been close enough to touch.
You roll onto your back and drag both hands over your face, groaning quietly as awareness settles in piece by piece. Your pulse refuses to slow, every nerve still humming like your body missed the memo that none of it actually happened.
You stare at the ceiling.
ââŠYou have got to be kidding me.â
This wasnât random. Not by a long shot.
It was him. Your attending. The stubborn, overworked, infuriatingly competent man who makes unresolved emotional baggage look hot. The man you have to see in barely two hours.
A small, helpless sound escapes you as you roll onto your side again, squeezing your eyes shut.
This is a problem.
A very real, very immediate, absolutely unprofessional problem.
And yet, you still donât move. You lie there too long, cheeks burning despite the fact that no one else can see what youâre replaying in your mind. Warmth lingers beneath your skin, pooling low in your belly as you let yourself remember every phantom touch. Every whispered word. The look in his eyes as heâd settled between your legs andâ
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
You bolt upright, your hand flying out to find your phone.
Youâre still hot, still flushed and sticky. Still half-dreaming about Robby and his goddamn handsâbut now? Now youâre late. Horribly late. Because that alarm isnât your wake-up alarmâitâs your backup alarm. The one that goes off when itâs time for you to leave for work.
âFuck!â
You throw the covers back and rush into the bathroom. You strip quickly out of your damp sleep shirt, tossing everything on the floor before stepping into the shower without even waiting for the water to warm. Which is exactly what you need, you remind yourself as you hiss beneath the cold spray.
Fifteen minutes later, youâre standing in front of the mirror in your black scrubs, trying to fix your hair and will the colour to drain from your cheeks. But itâs stubborn. Bright. Hot to the touch and utterly telling.
âJesus Christ,â you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut for a second too long.
A second you donât have.
With a deep breath, you turn, grab your bag, and sling it over your shoulder, wondering whether running to the hospital might actually be quicker than your usual commute at this time. Traffic is never greatâyou never truly know which route will get you there fastestâbut now youâre about to hit peak hour.
You spend the entire drive trying to think about literally anything other than the dreamâpatient charts, upcoming shifts, whether your stethoscope is in your bag or your lockerâbut your thoughts keep slipping sideways, traitorous and vivid.
So vivid.
Stop thinking about his hands.
Stop thinking about his voice.
Stopâ
You groan softly and turn the radio up louder.
It doesnât help.
By the time you pull into the hospital parking lot, youâre almost twenty minutes late. You slam your car door shut, hike your bag higher on your shoulder, and practically run toward the ER doors.
âWoah,â Donnie says, quickly stepping out of your way. âSomeoneâs in a hurry.â
You donât reply. You just keep going until you hit central, then slow to a hurried walkâhead down, eyes fixed on your feet, praying everyone is already too busy to notice you.
âYouâre late,â Dana says.
You stop mid-step, more out of habit than intention.
âYeah, Iâm sorry. Iââ
âShit, hon, you okay?â She steps around the desk, peering over her glasses. âYou look like youâre burninâ up.â
You step back before she can press a hand to your forehead.
âIâm fine, I swear.â You keep backing up. âJust myâmy carâs A/C isnât working and Iâm a little warm. Thatâs all.â
You know she doesnât believe you. This is Dana youâre talking to, not some brand-new, bright-eyed RN. Dana can see through any and all bullshit, and by the look on her face, she isnât buying this at all.
âIâm fine,â you say again, forcing a smile before turning sharply on your heel.
Only to turn right into something solid.
Warm. Tall. Unmoving.
âShit, Iââ
You look up.
And your entire nervous system shuts down.
Dr. Robby.
âSorry,â you blurt instantly, stepping back so fast you nearly trip over your own feet. âI didnât seeâI mean, I was looking, just notââ
His hand is still wrapped around your elbow, grounding you in place, and for one terrible second all you can think about is how close he is. How close heâd felt last night. How real it feels right now.
His eyebrows lift slightly, confusion flickering across his face. âYou alright?â
âYes,â you say too quickly. âFine. Totally fine.â
You are not fine.
Your face feels nuclear, and youâre suddenly aware of everything at onceâhis height, his proximity, the way his sleeves are pushed up, the fact that heâs looking directly at you like heâs trying to figure something out.
His head tilts slightly.
âYouâre late,â he says, not unkindly.
âI know.â
Neither of you move for a moment.
You can feel your pulse in your throat. Your chest. Lower.
âIâIâm gonnaââ
You donât even finish before you turn away, hurrying down the hall toward the lockers. Every inch of your skin feels like itâs on fireâand every thought in your head is so wildly inappropriate for where you are right now you feel like you might throw up.
âDamn.â Santos appears beside you, her eyes flicking between your face and the tablet in her hands. âEither youâre febrile or you just did something really embarrassing.â She tucks the tablet under her arm. âWhat gives?â
You shoot her a flat look as you key in the code to your locker. âNothing gives. Iâm fine.â
She snorts. âSure. That tone is really selling it.â
You take a deep breath and turn toward your locker, shoving your bag inside before unzipping your jacket and shrugging off. You stuff that in tooâthen sling your stethoscope around your neck, shut the door, and turn back to your fellow R2.
She looks concerned now, brows drawn as her eyes track over your face and neck.
âYouâre seriously flushed,â she says. âAre you sure youâre feeling okay?â
âIâm fine.â You turn and start walking back toward central. âJust running late, okay? Now can I start my shift beforeââ You stop yourself, his name catching somewhere in your chest. âBefore I have an attending down my throat for slacking off?â
God. You could have chosen better words.
âOkay, whatever,â Santos mutters, holding her tablet out again. âSorry for caring.â
She gives you a sarcastic little eye roll before veering off around the other side of the nurseâs station and ducking into one of the active patient rooms. You watch after her for a second before a voice across the room steals your attention.
Heâs on the other side of central, nodding along while Mohan and Whitaker brief him on a patientâand looking entirely too hot for seven-thirty on a Monday morning beneath harsh fluorescent lights.
âStop it,â you whisper to yourself, pausing at the nurseâs station to collect a tablet.
âStop what?â
You startle, head snapping toward the man suddenly beside you.
âJesus Christ, Dr. Abbot,â you sigh. âAre you trying to get me admitted for a heart attack?â
The corner of his mouth twitches. âYou already look halfway there.â
You roll your eyes. âOkay, I get it. Iâm red and Iâm sweatyâcan everyone please stop commenting on it now?â
He chuckles. âSorry. Didnât realise youâd already been bullied about it.â
You sigh again and turn your attention to the board, tipping your head back to read it.
âWhy are you still here, anyway?â you ask.
âWanted to see my favourite resident,â he says. âYou sure you donât want to come back to nights?â
You huff a laugh through your nose. âI love you, Abbot, but nights arenât for me.â You glance across the nurseâs station, where Dana and Robby are now discussing the latest incoming trauma. âI just miss Dana too much.â
Abbot snorts. âDana?â
You look back at him. âYes. Dana.â
Amusement flickers across his face. âYou sure?â
âYes,â you say, too quickly. âI mean, whoâwhat else wouldââ
âDoctors,â Javadi interrupts, stepping in front of you both. âSorry to interrupt, but could I get a second opinion on a patient in South Twenty-One, please?â
Abbot nods, glancing at you. âIâll go. You settle in.â The corner of his mouth lifts a little higher. âMaybe check in with your attending.â
Then he turns and walks away with Javadi at his side.
You stare after himâeyes wide, pulse racing, wondering what the fuck he meant by all that.
Youâve always suspected Abbot might be a mind reader, but that? That was something else. Too knowing. Too dangerous. And now you need to figure out what the hell he thinks he knows.
âDoctor,â Perlah calls from behind the desk. âCould you check on Central Twelve? Sheâs still complaining of pain after morphine and Zofran.â
You turn to her, shaking your head as if that might knock your thoughts back into place. âUhâyeah. Of course. Central Twelve, heading there now.â
She gives you a curious look, brows drawn, but you turn away before she can ask any more questions.
On your way to C12, you pull up the patientâs chartâseen by Whitaker about half an hour agoâand double-check the morphine and Zofran doses she received. You pause just outside the room, drawing a deep breath and reminding yourself that you are at work. You donât have time to be flustered. You donât have time to worry about what Jack Abbot may or may not know. And you definitely donât have time to obsess over the imaginary rasp of Robbyâs beard against your thigh that you can somehow still feel.
When you push the door open and step inside, youâre the picture of professionalism. You offer the patient a polite smile, introduce yourself, and start the routine checks that feel more like second nature than work.
After the exam and a brief conversation, you order two more milligrams of morphine, review the labs Whitaker sent, and make a note to check back in fifteen minutes. Then, still intent on avoiding your attending, you bury your nose in your tablet and move on to the next patient waiting in South Sixteen.
Pressure-like chest pain. Diaphoretic, no shortness of breath. Initial ECG normal. Labs pending.
âAlright, Mr. Mullens,â you say, squirting a pump of sanitizer into your palm. âWeâre going to get some scans done so we can get a better idea of whatâs going on. If the pain gets worse before then, let us know.â
The man nods. âThank you, Doc.â
You smile, stepping out into the hallway. âIâll be back soon to check in.â
As soon as you turn around, you look for Robby, making sure youâre not about to run into him again. Literally.
You spot him all the way across central, walking with Santos toward the North hallway. Good. Youâre safe. And if all goes well, maybe youâll manage to avoid him for the entire day. Maybe you wonât have to come face to face with the face you can still see buried between your legs.
Fuck.
Your pulse kicks, heart beating too fast as you remember the way his eyes had watched you in your dream. Itâs almost too much. Even the phantom memory of it is making you breathless.
God. If it ever actually happened, you might pass out.
âWhy would you even think of that?â you mutter to yourself, stopping at the nurseâs station.
When you finally look up, Perlah and Princess are watching you closely, speculation sparkling in their eyes.
âSobrang pula ng mukha niya,â Perlah murmurs.
Princess nods. âHindi lagnat âyan.â
Perlah lowers her voice even more. âSa tingin mo ba may kinalaman ito sa crush niya?â
They both laugh quietly, turning away from you as if it isnât you theyâre gossiping about.
âMalinaw,â Princess says.
You give them both a tight smile before glancing up at the board, searching for something suitably distracting and far away from nosy nurses and unfairly attractive attendings.
Youâre just about to head back toward the South hallway when a gurney crashes through the ambulance bay doors.
âTrauma Two!â Dana calls. âRobby!â
Abbot is already moving, meeting the paramedics halfway and guiding the gurney toward T2.
He points at you as he walks. âWith me.â
âShit,â you mutter, dropping your tablet on the desk and jogging over.
âThirty-two-year-old male, MVC, restrained driver,â the paramedic says. âFront-end collision, airbags deployed. No LOC. Increasing shortness of breath during transport. Breath sounds decreased left side.â
âLetâs get him on monitor,â Abbot says, moving to stand opposite you at the head of the bed. âOn my count.â
Robby steps in at your side, like he always doesâclose enough that you feel him before you see him.
His arm brushes yours.
Your stomach flips.
Focus.
âOne. Two. Three,â Abbot counts.
You transfer the patient from gurney to trauma bed, and Santos starts cutting away clothes.
âTwo large-bore IVs,â Abbot tells Jesse. âTrauma labs. Portable chest X-ray.â Then he looks at you, brows raised. âBreath sounds?â
âOhâuhââ You fumble with your stethoscope, pressing it to each side of the patientâs chest. âDiminished on the left.â
You reach for the patientâs neck, fingers steady despite the noise around you.
âTrachea midline.â
Abbot nods, then turns to Santos. âLetâs get ultrasound.â
âBP holding?â Robby asks.
The sound of his voice sends goosebumps racing along your armsâand you shiver before you can stop yourself.
âPressureâs 118 over 76,â Jesse replies. âStable.â
Robby glances at you, brows drawn. âYou okay?â
You nod quickly, without looking up. âNever better.â
âAbsent lung sliding on the left,â Santos announces.
âLikely pneumothorax,â Abbot says, looking at Robby.
âSats dropping,â Jesse calls. âEighty-nine.â
Robby nods once. âOkay. Weâre putting in a chest tube.â
âChest tube tray. Twenty-eight French. Left side,â Abbot orders.
You try to move out of the way, but Robbyâs hand catches your elbowâand you canât help but look up. His dark eyes meet yours with an intensity youâve never noticed before, and suddenly your lungs forget how to work.
âYouâre up,â he says. âIâll walk you through it.â
You know thereâs no time to argue. You know you canât. Shouldnât. This is your job. And itâs not like you could say no to this man even if you wanted to.
You swallow. âOkay.â
Robby nods, then looks at Jesse. âAlright, letâs get some lido. Sutures ready. Hook up suction.â
You turn back to the patient, watching Abbot position the left arm above his head while Jesse preps the areaâchlorhexidine swab, sterile drape. The rustle of sterile gowns and the snap of gloves fill the room as you pull on your own and push a pair of protective glasses up your nose. Then you grab the lidocaine from the tray and lean over the patientâs left side, steadying your hand as you guide the needle in.
The room is quieter nowâsave for the steady beeping of the monitorsâchaos narrowing into focus as everyone watches you sink the needle into the patientâs skin.
âA little deeper,â Robby murmurs.
Your breath catches, but your hands stay steady.
You can feel him just behind you, leaning close, his warmth bleeding through your scrubs and setting your whole body on fire.
âNow find the rib,â he instructs. âStay above it.â
You discard the needle onto the tray and start feeling ribs, counting down until you find the space.
âScalpel,â you say, refusing to take your eyes off the spot your fingers found.
Jesse places the scalpel in your hand, and without hesitation, you cut a three-centimetre incision.
âGood,â Robby murmurs.
Your pulse thrums beneath your skin.
âClamp,â you say, your voice almost breaking.
Jesse takes the scalpel from your hand, replacing it with a curved clamp.
You insert the clamp, pushing past muscle layers, and begin to spread. It feels forceful. Too much. Invasive, even though you know this is exactly what youâre supposed to do.
Robby steps closer. âCommit to it.â
His hand covers yours to adjust the angle, add pressureâuntil you feel the pop. And it takes every ounce of your self-control not to react. Not to whimper at the very normal, very professional way your attending is guiding you right now.
âNow sweep,â he says, so close you can feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek.
You insert your finger into the space, confirming entry into the pleural cavity and checking for adhesionsâthen nod. You donât dare turn your head as you hold your hand out for the tube. Heâs too close, too warm. You can smell the faint scent of soap on his skin even over the antiseptic and metallic tang in the air.
âInserting tube,â you say, more to yourself than anyone else.
You start guiding the tube inâslow and controlledâfeeling every millimetre of movement.
Until it stops.
Too much resistance.
âUp,â Robby says, his hand covering yours again. âAim higher.â
He adjusts your wrist slightly, guiding the pressure.
You swallow hard and nod, hoping no one else can hear your uneven breathingâbut knowing Robby definitely can.
He helps you apply more pressure, firmer now, angle corrected, and the tube starts moving again.
âThatâs it,â he murmurs. âGood girl. Keep going.â
Your brain short-circuits.
Heat floods your face. Your chest. Lower.
His voice echoes from your dream. Breathless. Panting. Words whispered against your skin.
Fuck. Now is not the time.
You tighten your grip on the tube and push.
Thenâ
A rush of air.
âAir return,â Abbot says, a hint of pride in his tone. âNow secure it.â
Robby steps back, and you hear the snap of his gloves coming off.
âO2 sats climbing,â he announces.
âCool,â Santos says, grinning at Abbotâs side. âIâm doing the next one.â
You barely look up. You canât. Your whole face feels like itâs on fire. You've never blushed this hard before. Youâve never been this hot in your life. And youâve definitely never been this horny in the goddamn trauma bay.
âYou good to finish up?â Robby asks Abbot.
Abbot nods.
From the corner of your eye, you see Robby step toward the door, glancing over his shoulder with a small, impressed smile.
âNice work, Doctor.â
You donât reply. You just nod, lips twitching with a soft smile as you keep your eyes on the patient.
As soon as you finish suturing and securing the tube, you step back, tearing off your gown and gloves as if thatâll somehow give you a reprieve from the heat beneath your skin. Jesse takes your place beside the patient, nodding along to Abbotâs orders while he and Kim start cleaning up.
You shove your gown, gloves, and glasses into the biohazard bin and head for the door without looking backâwhich is exactly why you donât notice Santos trailing you.
âThat was so cool,â she says, startling you.
âJesus,â you mutter. âDonât sneak up on me like that.â
She frowns. âSneak? I was right behind you. Itâs not my fault youâre all weird and jumpy today.â
âIâm notââ You glance across central to make sure Robby isnât somewhere in your path to the ambulance bay. âIâm not weird and jumpy.â
Santos scoffs. âRight. And Iâm not behind on my charting.â
You donât bother arguing with her. You just keep walkingâand she follows. All the way through the ER and out to the ambulance bay, where you stop just before the curb and draw a deep breath. It isnât nearly as refreshing as youâd hoped, but a break from the fluorescents is always welcome.
âOkay,â she says, folding her arms. âWhat is with you today? Youâre never this off. Iâve seen you perform procedures youâd only read about without a single assist from the attending. And I know youâve done a chest tube before.â
You donât answer. You donât even look at her. You just tip your head back and stare at the roof of the ambulance bay, wondering whether it might collapse and save you from this conversation.
âAnd on that note,â she goes on, âDr. Robby knows youâve done a chest tube before, so why the hell was he being so patient? I swear heâs got a soft spot for you. Javadi pointed it out a few weeks ago and I honestly donât know how I missed it. I meanâhas he ever yelled at you?â
You finally look at her, brows drawn. âIâuhâno, I donât think so.â
âExactly,â she says, stepping closer. âAnd please tell me I heard wrong, but did he say good girl to you back there?â
As soon as she says it, your cheeks burn with renewed intensity. You can feel your heart in your throat, beating out of rhythm and way too fast for someone who is definitely not in a life-or-death situation.
And Santos noticesâbecause of course she does.
Her eyes go wide. âOh my God. This totally has something to do with Dr. Robby.â
âShut up,â you mutter. âItâs notââ
You stop yourself, squeezing your eyes shut and pinching the bridge of your nose.
Santos isnât going to let this go. You know her. Sheâs too inquisitive, too nosy, and thereâs not nearly enough chaos today to distract her.
âOkay, fine,â you sigh, looking up, face burning. âI had a sex dream about him and now I canât stop thinking about it.â
She stares at you for a second.
âA sex dream?â
You nod miserably.
Her mouth twitchesâthen she snorts.
Not a polite laugh. A full, startled snort she triesâand failsâto muffle behind her hand.
âOh my God,â she says. âI knew you had a thing for him, but a sex dream?â
âWould you stop saying it?â you hiss, glancing nervously around the empty ambulance bay.
She laughs a little harder. âWas he good?â
âOh my God,â you mutter, dropping your head into your hands. âI regret everything.â
âHey,â she says, still laughing as she drops a hand on your shoulder. âFor what itâs worth, Iâm pretty sure heâd go there if you asked.â
Your head snaps up. âIf I asked?â
She shrugs. âWhy not shoot your shot?â
âBecause heâs my boss!â
âHeâs your attending,â she says. âTechnically, Dr. Underwood is your boss. Dr. Robby just supervises you.â
You shut your eyes again and draw a deep breath, trying to steady your pulse.
âOkay,â you say, squaring your shoulders. âIâm done with this conversation. Iâm going back to work, and youâre not telling anyone what I just told you. Okay?â
She mimes zipping her lips. âIâm a vault, I swear.â
You nod. âGood.â
Then you turn and start walking back inside, trying not to conspicuously check for Robby on your way to the nurseâs station. Santos is still at your heels, still wearing an amused grin as if your humiliation is her exact brand of humour.
âOne more question,â she says, stopping beside you as you grab another tablet from the rack.
You sigh. âWhat?â
She leans in. âDid he say âgood girlâ in the dream too?â
Your pulse jumps.
âGoodbye, Dr. Santos,â you say, turning quickly on your heel.
âIâm taking that as a yes,â she calls after you.
You ignore her, turning toward S16 to check on your chest pain patient.
âHey, Mr. Mullens,â you say as you push back the curtain. âHow are you feeling?â
The older man sits up a little. âIâm okay.â
âGood.â You pull up his chart on your tablet. âThe pain hasnât gotten any worse?â
He shakes his head. âNo.â
âThatâs good to hear,â you say, quickly flicking through his lab results. âYour first labs look reassuring, but weâll repeat them in a couple of hours just to be safe.â
You glance up, and he nods.
âThank you, Doctor.â
You smile softly. âIf the pain gets worse, or if you start having trouble breathing, press the call button.â
âWill do.â
You offer him one last nod before tucking your tablet under your arm and squirting a pump of sanitiser into your palm as you exit the room.
The second you step into the hall, you take a deep breath, finally feeling like your lungs remember how to work. Like your pulse might finally be settling into something resembling a normal rhythm. Like maybeâjust maybeâyou can survive the day if you stay distracted with work long enough not to think about last night.
About his voiceâlow and rough in your ear, whispering something you canât quite remember.
Except the way it made your spine arch.
Or the moment heâd braced his hands on either side of you, his head dipping just enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath before heâ
âDoctor.â
You jerk slightly, heat rushing straight back into your face as the memory evaporates.
âSorryâwhat?â
Whitaker, now standing in front of you, clears his throat. âNothing. I justâyou looked a little out of it.â
You shake your head and turn toward central. âYeah. Sorry. Iâm a little off today.â
He nods, falling into step beside you. âSantos mentioned.â
Your head snaps toward him. âSantos mentioned what?â
âJust that you were out of it today,â he says quietly, staring at the floor.
You stare at him. âAnd?â
He shrugs, but itâs stiff. âAnd nothing.â
You stop at the nurseâs station and drop your tablet on the desk.
âI swear to God, Whitaker, if she told youââ
âShe didnât tell me anything,â he says, clearly panicked now. âIâIâve got to go check on a patient.â
Then heâs gone, hurrying off toward the South hallway.
Fuck.
You told Santos barely ten minutes ago and sheâs already told Whitaker?
So much for being a vault.
âWhatâd I tell you about swearinâ on God, little lady?â Dana asks, peering over her glasses from the other side of the desk.
You sigh, resting both forearms on the counter. âSorry. Rough morning.â
âTell me about it,â she says, glancing down at her tablet. âSprained ankle in North Four wants an MRI and a wheelchair escort to the parking lot. Psych hold in B2 tried to climb out the bathroom window. Ogilvie ordered the wrong labs and blamed the computer. And someoneââ she pauses, squinting toward where McKay is assessing a patient, ââkeeps leaving half-empty coffee cups everywhere like weâre running a cafĂ© instead of an emergency department.â
You huff a quiet laugh.
âAnd weâre only on hour two,â she adds, looking back up at you.
âLucky us,â you mutter.
She sets her tablet down and slides her glasses off, folding them into the breast pocket of her scrubs.
âWhatâs with you, hm?â She leans in. âFirst youâre late, then you run out of trauma like youâre about to pass out. Thatâs not like you, kid.â
You shrug. âJust a little off today.â
She watches you for a second, her eyes narrowing just a fraction. Sheâs not stupid. She knows thereâs more to it than thatâbut Dana isnât the type to push.
She hums quietly.
âAlright,â she says. âIâll pretend I believe that.â
You give her a small, appreciative smile as you push off the counter. âLove you, Dana.â
She just shakes her head, the corner of her mouth lifting as she glances back down at her tablet. âYeah? Then check on North Four for me and see if you can get âem discharged.â
You nod. âNorth Four, on it.â
You start to turn away, then stop yourself and swivel back toward her.
âHeyâuhâis Abbot still here?â you ask.
âNo, he left right after the MVC trauma,â she replies without looking up.
âOh.â
âWhy? You need him?â she asks. âIâm sure whatever you need, Dr. Robby canââ
âNo,â you say quickly. âNope. Iâm good. Totally fine. Donât need anything at all.â
You hug your tablet to your chest and start turning away again.
âEverythingâs fine!â
You donât dare look back. You just keep walking toward the North hall, completely missing the sceptical look Dana sends after youâand the confused look on Robbyâs face as he glances between the two of you.
On your way to N4, you pull your phone out of your pocket and tap on Dr. Abbotâs contact, typing quickly.
So much for saying goodbye to your favourite resident.
Then you hit send and tuck your phone back into your pocket.
Youâre not actually offended. Not really. This is the ER. People barely have time to finish a sentence, let alone say goodbye.
Youâre just⊠nervous.
Nervous because Abbot thinks he knows somethingâand you need to figure out what that is before he decides to say something to Robby and make this whole situation infinitely worse.
You stop outside N4 and take a deep breathâyour hundredth deep breath of the morning. You can do this. This is the easy part. The patients. The work. The familiarity of what you do every day. You just need to focus on this for the next twelve hours and definitely not the way you can still feel the weight of his hand on your hip, steady and certain, holding you exactly where he wanted you as heâ
âNope,â you tell yourself out loud. âAbsolutely not. Focus.â
You shake your head as you step into the room and slide the curtain back, greeting the patient with your practiced mask of cool, calm, and collected. You manage to convince them they donât need an MRI, since their ankle is only sprained, but you do get Ahmad to escort them out in a wheelchairâand now you owe him ten bucks and a bagel tomorrow morning.
Then you move on to the next patient. And the next.
The next few hours pass by in a blur of minor catastrophes. A migraine that melts away with the standard cocktail of Toradol, Reglan, and Benadryl. A Lego piece extracted from a three-year-oldâs nose while Whitaker distracts the squirming patient. Three stitches in the eyebrow of a man who swears he doesnât drink before 10AMâeven though you can smell the alcohol on his breath. An overworked woman with chest pain that turns out to be a panic attack. A teenager with a swollen knee and a devastated look on his face when you suggest he might be benched for the rest of the season.
And at half past noon, you step into C9. Mid-thirties, right lower quadrant abdominal pain, nausea, mild feverâwhat you can already guess is appendicitis.
âHi, Ms. Park, how are you feeling?â you ask, squirting a pump of sanitiser into your palm.
She winces. âNot so good.â
âIt says here youâre having abdominal pain, nausea, and a bit of a fever,â you say. âWhen did that start?â
She nods. âEarly this morning. Four, maybe.â
You set your tablet on the cart, grab a pair of gloves, and drag a stool beside the bed. âMind if I take a look at your abdomen so I can get a better idea of whatâs going on?â
She nods and tips her head back against the pillow, hands falling either side as you start palpating her lower abdomen. It doesnât take more than a few presses for her to hiss and lift a hand, trying to push you away.
âSorry,â she says, voice strained. âIt hurts a lot.â
âThatâs okay.â You scoot back and rise from the stool, peeling off your gloves. âIâm going to order a CT scan to take a better look, and weâll give you something for the pain and something for the nausea in the meantime.â
You step around the bed and grab your tablet off the cart.
âA nurse will come in shortly to start fluids too,â you add. âYouâre probably a little dehydrated if you havenât been able to eat or drink much this morning.â
She looks at you with wide eyes. âI donât know if I want a CT. Isnât that a lot of radiation?â
âItâs a relatively small amount,â you reply evenly, âand itâs the best way for us to see whatâs going on inside your abdomen. I can assure you, itâs very safe.â
âI try to avoid unnecessary radiation,â Ms. Park argues, shifting uncomfortably. âIs there another option?â
âUltrasound can sometimes help, but itâs not always reliable in adults,â you say. âA CT scan will give us the clearest answer.â
She hesitates, eyes dropping to her lap. âWellâcould I please speak to the doctor in charge?â
You open your mouth to reply when someone steps in beside you. Tall. Solid. Close enough to make your pulse skip and your stomach take a nosedive.
âYou are,â Robby says, arms folded. âSheâs the physician managing your care right now, so weâll follow her recommendation.â
You step to the side, nearly tripping over nothing, clutching your tablet to your chest.
âUhâDr. Robby, this is Ms. Park,â you say quickly. âThirty-five, right lower quadrant pain since early this morning. Nausea, no vomiting, low-grade fever at triage. Tenderness at McBurneyâs point. Iâve ordered labs and a CT abdomen to rule out appendicitis.â
Robby nods once. âThat sounds appropriate.â
Ms. Park sighs.
âAlright,â she says, a little more pleasantly now. âIf thatâs what you recommend.â
She doesnât even look at you as she says itâher eyes stay fixed on Robby, softening in a way that makes you briefly consider poking her appendix again.
Not that you can blame her.
Your gaze flicks to Robby, wondering if heâs noticed the sudden change in demeanourâor the way sheâs practically making heart eyes at him.
But he isnât looking at Ms. Park.
Heâs looking at you.
You clear your throat, quickly glancing back down at your tablet. âUhâthatâs good. Great. Iâll finish the orders now, and a nurse will be by shortly with some pain relief.â
Ms. Park gives you a brief nod before turning back to Robby with a smile that makes you want to roll your eyes. Robby just nods, squirts a pump of sanitiser into his hand, then steps out of the roomâand you try not to follow too closely.
You slide the curtain shut before turning into the hall, half expecting Robby to be goneâbut he isnât. Heâs still standing there, holding his tablet in one hand while the other scrubs at his jaw in that mildly anxious way it always does.
âNice work in there,â he says without looking up.
Heat floods your face.
âThanks,â you say with a tight smile. âAnd thanks for backing me up.â
He glances at you over the top of his glasses.
âYou had it handled.â
You clutch your tablet to your chest. âWellâuhâthanks anyway.â
Then, before you completely lose the ability to function, you turn on your heel and start down the hallâbut not fast enough to miss Danaâs voice.
âCareful, Robinavitch,â she says dryly. âYouâre hovering.â
âI supervise,â Robby mutters.
Dana hums.
âUh-huh. Iâll pretend I believe that.â
Hovering?
You tighten your grip on your tablet as you hurry down the South hall, pretending you know where youâre headed.
Robby wasnât hovering. He was just doing his job. Right?
He hovers around every resident and med student.
Itâs not like he wasâ
You shake your head.
NoâDanaâs just teasing. Itâs her thing. Itâs practically her love language.
You stop short when you reach the end of the hall. Elevator ahead. Restrooms to your right.
Nowhere else to go.
âYou okay, Doctor?â McKay asks, stepping out of the ladiesâ room.
You blink. âUhâyeah, I justââ
Youâre not sure what excuse to use nowâstanding in the middle of the hall, staring at the elevator, white-knuckling your tablet like youâre one bad patient away from a psychotic break.
âYou look like youâre buffering,â she says, the corner of her mouth twitching. âWhy donât you take a break?â
You shake your head. âI donât need a break.â
Her brows lift as she gently places a hand on each of your shoulders, turning you back the other way. âAlright. Well, why donât you go sit down and catch up on your charting?â
She starts guiding you slowly back up the hall.
âCharting,â you echo, a faint frown forming between your brows. âYeah. Thatâs a good idea, actually. I havenât done much all day.â
She nods. âSee? Iâm full of good ideas. And you are seriously concerning me today.â
You give her a look. âIâm fine. Everyone is just beingââ
âCaring?â she offers.
You roll your eyes. âOverbearing.â
She shakes her head, laughing quietly as she steers you toward the nurseâs station.
âHere,â she says, pulling out a chair in front of a vacant computer. âSit.â
âYes, maâam,â you mutter, dropping down at the desk.
She steps behind you, pushes the chair in, then leans over your shoulder.
âGood girl,â she murmurs.
Your entire spine locks.
âWhat was that?â
McKay straightens, already grinning.
âCharting,â she says lightly, tapping the monitor. âTry it.â
âButâyou justââ
She laughs under her breath, already backing away.
âFinish your notes, doctor. You donât want to have to stay late.â
Then sheâs gone, shaking her head again as she disappears back toward triage.
You sit there for a few seconds longer than you should, staring after her while your brain desperately tries to reboot.
âFucking Santos,â you mutter, finally turning back to the computer.
âYou called,â Santos says, appearing on the other side of the desk.
Your eyes snap up. âYou.â
Her brows lift. âMe?â
âYes,â you snap. âYouâve been telling people.â
She triesâand failsâto suppress a smile.
âNot technically.â She leans forward, resting both forearms on the counter. âI only told Huckleberry, but McKay overheard. Can you blame me, though? Itâs the most interesting thing to happen around here today.â
âYes,â you hiss. âI can blame you. And I will blame you ifââ
You stop, your eyes flicking past her to where Robby has just stepped out of C8, chart in hand and head bowed. Santos frowns for a second before following your gaze over her shoulder.
She snorts. âOh my God. You canât even function.â
âWho canât function?â Whitaker asks, stepping up beside Santos.
You drop your head into your hands and sigh. âGreat. Theyâre multiplying.â
Santos leans closer. âHey, whatâs the song that plays in your head whenever he walks past? Is it, like, SexyBack, or more⊠Like a Prayer?â
Whitaker snorts softly, his cheeks turning pink.
You glare at Santos. âNeither.â
âYouâre right.â She nods thoughtfully. âI can practically hear the Careless Whisper sax playing in your mind right now.â
Your eyes go wide as you snatch a pen off the desk and lob it straight at herâbut she dodges it easily.
âWow,â she says, still laughing. âIâm on fire today.â
âIs that so, Dr. Santos?â
You recognise the voice before you even see himâbecause of course you do. You dream about that voice.
âThat would mean youâve caught up on all your charting and discharged your patient in North One?â Robby asks as he steps up beside Santos.
Her grin drops. âUhâyeah. Actually, I was just on my way to North One.â
Her eyes slide back to you as she pushes away from the desk, lips pressed tight to keep herself from laughing.
âDr. Whitaker,â Robby says. âAre you hovering?â
Hovering?
Whitaker glances up. âOhâuhâno. I was just finishing some orders.â
âGood. You can finish them on your way to discharging South Twenty.â
Whitaker nods, barely even glancing at you as he grabs his tablet off the desk and turns toward the South hall.
Then Robby looks at you, holding up the pen you threw at Santos.
Your pulse stutters.
âThink you lost this,â he says, leaning forward to drop it on the desk.
âI threw it,â you blurt.
He hesitates, the corner of his mouth twitching before he turns away.
âI know.â
You watch him go until he turns a corner and disappearsâthen you look down at the pen.
âFuck,â you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. âI need today to end.â
You slide the pen aside and force your attention back to the computerâto the cursor blinking patiently beside the single word youâd managed to write since sitting down.
Right.
Charting.
You manage exactly four more words before youâre interrupted againâsomething about your abdominal pain patient in Central Nine.
With a sigh, you push away from the desk, grab your tablet, and head for C9.
After confirming Ms. Park does indeed need an appendectomy and contacting Garcia for a surgical consult, Dana stops you in the hall to ask if Mr. Mullens can be discharged from South Sixteen. Then Javadi grabs you to present a calf laceration that you end up supervising while she sutures it, and after that Whitaker calls you in for a second opinion on a dizziness patient in North Five.
The hours start to blur together. You bounce from one room to another, just barely finishing your notes in between patients and med students and reviewing labs. By the time you finally make it back to the desk again, youâve almostâalmostâforgotten about why your heart is still beating a little too fast.
âBack to charting?â Princess asks.
You nod. âThe never-ending task.â
She gives you the same quiet, speculative smile she gave you this morning.
âYou seem off today,â she says.
âIâm fine,â you mutter. âJust tired.â
âAnd red,â she adds before turning away.
You frown, pressing a hand to your ridiculously hot cheek as you turn back toward the computer. If this keeps up, youâre more likely to end the shift as a patient than a doctor.
With a small sigh, you scoot your chair closer to the desk and pull the chart back up. Your eyes flick to the corner of the screen, to the little clock telling you that you only have a few hours left. A few hours to finish your charting, discharge a couple more patients, and keep avoiding Dr. Robby. Then youâre free. Then youâve got at least eight solid hours to sort yourself out before youâre back here tomorrow.
Just as you position your fingers over the keyboard to start typing, your phone vibrates in your pocketâand your pulse jumps.
Abbot.
You quickly pull it out, swipe up, and open the notification.
Sorry. Too busy mourning the loss of my status as your favourite attending.
Your stomach drops.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
You stare at the text for an unreasonable length of timeâheart pounding, face burning, thoughts racing. Abbot definitely thinks he knows something. Something he shouldnât know. Something heâs probably very wrong about. Something you need to figure out and shut down immediately.
Before he decides to say something to Robby about whatever it is he thinks he knows.
âHey,â Dana says, stopping on the other side of the desk. âThought you were working?â
You clear your throat. âUhâyeah. Sorry. Got distracted.â
Her brows lift. âDistracted, huh? Thatâs exactly what we want in emergency medicine.â
Then she shakes her head and walks away.
You tuck your phone into your pocket and turn your attention back to the chart in front of you. The chart of exactly five wordsâthe first of many unfinished charts standing in your way of going home on time.
And today is not a day you want to stay back.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard again, eyes flicking over the few words already written. It takes a minuteâprobably longer than it shouldâbut eventually you remember how to do your job and start typing.
The ER fades into background noiseâmonitors beeping, nurses chatting, the rumble of beds rolling pastâand for the first time all day, you feel focused. Steady. Untilâ
âRobby,â Dana calls, âcan you come over here for a sec?â
Your fingers slow over the keysâand against your better judgment, you glance up.
âMrs. Alvarez,â Robby says fondly. âWhat brings you here?â
Your brows draw together as you study the older woman sitting on the bed. She looks familiar, and Alvarez rings a bell, but you canât quite place it.
âPerlah,â you say, without fully looking away from the woman. âWhoâs Mrs. Alvarez?â
âShe used to work here,â Perlah replies. âShe was the night shift charge nurse before Lena. Partially retired a couple years ago, but sheâs covered a shift or two since then.â
You tilt your head. âOh.â
âShe probably asked for Robby,â Princess chimes in. âShe always had a soft spot for him.â
Perlah tries to muffle her laughter. âKatulad ng ibang kakilala natin.â
Princess laughs behind you, but the sound barely registers. Youâre too captivated by the scene unfolding in front of you. The very normal, very professional interaction that is hardly out of place in an ERâyet for some reason, it feels like youâre watching an adult film made specifically for you.
Mrs. Alvarezâs bed is parked up against the wallâa sight that would normally remind you to look for patients to discharge, but right now thatâs the furthest thing from your mind.
Robby has pulled a stool up beside her, leaning in while she talks, forearms resting loosely on the bed rail. He nods along as she explains whatâs wrong, his expression soft, his posture relaxed. Thereâs absolutely nothing obscene about itâbut your pulse is still racing.
Thereâs just something about the way he listensâreally listensâthat makes it difficult to look anywhere else. That makes it difficult not to envy Mrs. Alvarez right now.
âLetâs take a listen,â he says after a moment, voice low and steady.
Your stomach does a strange little flip.
Itâs such a normal sentence. Completely harmless. Totally professional. Youâve probably said the same thing yourself at least three times today. But hearing it in that voiceâcalm, warm, just rough enough at the edges to carry across the departmentâdoes something deeply unhelpful to your concentration.
He slips the stethoscope from around his neck, the tubing sliding through his fingers with the kind of easy familiarity that only comes from years of doing the same motion over and over again. The movement is quick, practiced, almost absentminded.
Still, your eyes follow it.
They follow the way he leans forward, one hand bracing lightly against the mattress while the other presses the diaphragm of the stethoscope gently against Mrs. Alvarezâs chest.
âDeep breath for me.â
Your pulse stutters.
Because suddenlyâunhelpfully, vividlyâyou remember exactly how those hands felt in the dream.
The same steady fingers. The same calm voice, dropped just a little lower when he leaned close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath near your ear.
His hand had been wrapped around your wristâfirm but carefulâguiding your hand above your head and pinning it against the pillow.
âHold still,â he murmured.
The memory is sharp enough that for a second you can almost feel it again. The weight of his body pressing into the space between your knees, the quiet authority in his voice when he spoke, the way his fingers tightened against your skin just enough to keep you right where he wanted you.
Your hands had curled into the bed sheets as his lips traced the line of your jaw, his voice dropping againâsofter now, almost thoughtful.
âLook at me.â
Your breath had caught in your throat when you did.
Because he was watching you the same way he watches patientsâcalm, focused, completely absorbedâexcept the attention felt different in the dream. Slower. Heavier. Like he was studying every reaction you gave him and deciding exactly how much more you could handle.
Your pulse had started racing the second his gaze dropped to your mouth.
It wasnât subtle.
Just a brief shift of his eyesâthoughtful, almost curiousâbut the heat that followed it made your stomach tighten.
His thumb found its way back to your jaw, tracing slowly along the curve of it as if he were considering something. Following the line of your chin as he tipped your head back just slightly beneath his hand.
You hadnât realised youâd stopped breathing until his fingers stilled.
âBreathe,â he said quietly.
The word brushed over your lips.
You remember the way your chest rose when you obeyed himâslow, unsteadyâand the way his gaze followed the movement before drifting back to your mouth again.
God.
The corner of his mouth had lifted slightly then, like heâd noticed exactly what he was doing to you.
Like he wasnât in any hurry to stop.
His hand slid from your jaw to the side of your throat, fingers warm against your skin, thumb resting just beneath your chin as if he were holding you thereânot tightly, just enough that you stayed exactly where he wanted you.
And the entire time he watched you with that same quiet concentration.
Like this was just another thing he was very, very good at.
âHey,â Santos says, appearing beside the desk. âYour abdominal pain in C9 just went upstairs.â
You blink at her. âAlready?â
She shrugs. âGarcia signed off.â
You nod once, shifting awkwardly in your chair as you turn back toward the computer, trying very hard to ignore the heat pooling low in your belly.
âYou good?â Santos asks, as if you havenât been asked that enough today.
You clear your throat, eyes flicking briefly back to Robby and Mrs. Alvarez. âYeah. Fine.â
She follows your gaze, the corner of her mouth twitching.
âWow,â she says. âYouâre down bad.â
You glare at her. âIâm charting.â
âYouâre drooling.â
You quickly lift a hand to your mouth, swiping at the corner.
Santos smirks. âMetaphorically.â
âFuck you,â you mutter.
âFuck who?â Whitaker asks, appearing beside Santos.
Santos grins. âWell, it depends who youâre asking, because if you askââ
âSantos,â you warn.
She laughs. âCome on. Itâs just a joke.â
âIsang biro?â Princess says, smiling. âWalang nakakatawa sa paraan ng pagtitig niya kay Robby.â
Your stomach drops.
You might not understand Tagalog, but you sure as hell know what that last word was.
âSantos,â you say, slowly rising from your chair. âHow many people have you told?â
She presses her lips together sheepishly. âAgain, technically? Just Huckleberry.â
âAndâand I havenât told anyone,â Whitaker adds quickly.
âAno ang pinag-uusapan nila?â Perlah says behind you.
Princess shrugs. âMay alam lang na sikreto si Santos.â
Your eyes widen. âSantos, I swearââ
âRelax,â she says. âTheyâre not talking about the dream. They were talking about your staring.â
Princess steps forward. âA dream? What dream?â
You bury your face in your hands. âOh my God.â
âWait,â Perlah says. âDid she have a dream aboutââ
Santos smirks. âYep.â
âOh,â Princess gasps. âThatâs why sheâs been so weird today.â
Perlah snorts.
Princess mutters something else in Tagalog that makes them all laugh again.
âOh my God, Santos!â you say again, louder this time. âIâm just trying to get through the day without my attending finding out I had a sex dream about him and youâre telling the entire emergency department?â
Silence.
Perlah is staring at you.
Princess is staring at you.
Whitaker looks like someone has just pulled the fire alarm inside his head.
And Santosâ
Santos is very carefully not looking at you anymore.
âWhat?â you snap. âNo more jokes?â
No one answers.
Instead, Princessâs eyes flick slowly past your shoulder.
Whitaker clears his throat.
Santos presses her lips together, the corners twitching like sheâs fighting for her life not to laugh.
âWhat?â you repeat, glancing over your shoulder.
And there he is.
Your attendingâstanding just a few feet from the nurseâs station, tablet still in one hand, glasses sliding slightly down his nose as he looks at you over the top of them.
Your stomach drops so violently it feels like all your organs have fallen out of your body.
He clears his throat.
Once.
âAlright,â he says evenly. âBack to work.â
Thatâs all it takes.
Perlah and Princess busy themselves on the other side of the nurseâs station.
Whitaker rushes off toward triage.
Santos lingers just long enough to give you a look that promises she will never let this go before she slips away too.
And then itâs just you.
And him.
He doesnât say anything for a moment. Just adjusts the tablet in his hand, pulls his glasses off, folds them into the pocket of his scrubs, and turns away.
And as he steps away, you could almost swear you see the faintest twitch at the corner of his mouth.
Almost as if heâs fighting a smile.
But that would be ridiculous, right?
It takes an embarrassingly long time for you to remember how to move.
How to function.
You can feel Perlah and Princess watching you. Waiting for you to do something other than stare at the spot your attending had been standing when you announced your sex dream about him to the entire department.
God.
This has to be some kind of HR violation.
Robby is probably on his way to find Dana right now so she can tell you to go upstairs and talk to someone about misconduct. If youâre not fired, youâll be transferred.
Or worseânight shift.
You gasp and fumble for your phone, pulling it out of your pocket.
Abbot's message thread is already open when you swipe up and start typing.
Whatâs that supposed to mean?
Then you hit send and tuck your phone away again.
Itâs a ridiculous thought, but maybe if you can talk to Abbot and explain that this was all just one giant misunderstanding, maybe he can convince Robby not to hate you for it. Maybe he can convince Robby to let you finish your residency at PTMC without it being painfully awkward for both of you.
Because as funny as this is to Santos and the nurses, youâre not so sure Robby will see it that way.
Not when youâve let it affect your work.
Not when you just embarrassed himâand yourselfâin front of the entire emergency department.
You draw in a slow breath and grab your tablet off the desk.
All you can do now is your job.
All you can do for the next hour is avoid Robby and pray Abbot will hear you out when he comes back on shift.
You turn deliberately toward the North hallway and pull up the lab results for Whitakerâs dizziness patient, keeping your eyes fixed on your tablet as you walk.
The department hums around you like it always doesâmonitors beeping, beds rolling past, nurses calling out vitalsâbut you can still feel eyes on you. Whether itâs the nurses or the med students, or even a patient who overheard your outburst, you know youâre being watched.
Whispered about, probably.
But if you donât look up, it doesnât count. Right?
By the time you circle back to central, Mrs. Alvarez has already been discharged, which you take as a small mercy. Then you duck into South Fifteen to check on a teenager with a sprained ankle who is mostly interested in whether he can still play soccer this weekend. After that itâs a quick review of labs for a chest pain patient in Central Tenânormal troponins, thank Godâand a brief stop at the nurseâs station to sign off on discharge instructions Dana has already printed.
None of it requires you to look up very much.
Which is ideal.
You spend the next half hour moving steadily from room to roomâlistening to a set of lungs for a persistent cough in North Three, answering a worried daughterâs questions about her fatherâs blood pressure in South Twenty-Two, and checking a set of repeat vitals on a dehydration case Princess flagged earlier. Every task is perfectly ordinary. Completely routine.
And through all of it, you make a very conscious effort not to look for your attending.
Not that youâre avoiding him.
Obviously.
Youâre just⊠busy.
You still see him, thoughâacross the hall, talking to patients, nodding along while med students present. He doesnât look up. Never looks at you. Just keeps walking, keeps working, keeps nodding.
Like nothing happened.
And somehow, thatâs worse.
Youâre on your way back from dropping discharge paperwork at the front deskâwalking a little slower than you should as you wonder how long until the end of your shiftâwhen McKay calls out from triage.
âHey, you busy?â
You stop mid-step. âAlways. Whatâs up?â
âCan you grab me a suture kit?â she asks. âIâm out in here.â
âOf course. What size?â
âFour-oh nylon. Whatever's closest.â
You nod. âOn it.â
âAnd maybe send a med student to grab more from supply,â she calls as you walk away.
You donât reply. You just duck into Trauma Oneâthankfully emptyâgrab a kit, then call out to Ogilvie on your way back, telling him to go get more suture kits for triage as soon as heâs free. You donât even wait for him to answer, but you do hear him turn to a nurse and ask where supply is.
You wedge your tablet under one arm as you head back toward the triage bay. With the kit held against your chest, you start peeling back the sterile packagingâsince you know McKayâs already halfway through cleaning whatever it is she needs to suture up.
Youâre just being helpful.
But the plastic seam is stubborn, and just as you turn into the bay the wrapper gives with a jerked tearâand the scalpel slides free.
You shift to catch it, but the blade grazes the inside of your upper arm before you can pull away.
âOhâshit.â
Itâs not dramatic. Just a sharp sting at first, and for a second you assume itâs nothing more than a scratch.
Until the warmth starts to trickle down your arm and drip from your elbow.
âDamn,â you sigh, watching a small droplet of blood hit the floor.
McKay glances up, eyes going wide. âWhat the hell happened?â
She quickly takes everything out of your hands, and you lift your arm to inspect the damage.
âScalpel slipped.â
McKay winces. âThatâs going to need stitches.â
Ignoring the confused patient still sitting in the triage chair, she grabs a wad of gauze off the cart and presses it against your arm.
âHold this,â she says. âIâll go get someone to take over here, then we canââ
âItâs alright,â a familiar voice says from somewhere behind you. âIâll deal with this.â
Your stomach drops.
âOh.â McKay glances over your shoulder, the corner of her mouth twitching. âThanks, Dr. Robby.â
Fuck.
You turn slowly, one hand still clamped over the gauze on your arm.
Heâs already so closeâbarely half a step awayâand you have to tip your head back to look up at him.
âLet me see,â he says, voice low.
You hold your arm out obediently.
His fingers brush yours as he peels back the gauze, and your pulse jumps.
âAlright.â He nods once, something indistinguishable flickering across his face. âThat needs stitches.â
Before you can respond, his hand closes lightly around your wrist, guiding your arm back toward your side as he turns you with him.
âCome with me.â
The touch is brief, professionalâbut when his hand shifts to the small of your back to steer you out of triage, the warmth of it makes your heart stutter out of rhythm.
âDana,â he calls, walking quickly through central. âWhatâs open?â
Dana looks up from the desk just as the two of you pass. Her gaze flicks from the gauze on your arm to Robbyâs hand still resting lightly at your back, and something sharp and knowing slides into her expression immediately.
âCentral Eleven just got cleaned,â she says.
Robby nods once. âThanks.â
Danaâs brows lift just a fraction as she watches the two of you step into the room, like sheâs just connected several very interesting dots.
You move automatically toward the bed, trying not to feel disappointed when Robbyâs hand leaves your back. He shuts the doors on both sides of the room, then slides the curtain closedâand every move makes your heart rate climb higher.
âLay back,â he says.
Your whole body flushes with heat as you adjust yourself on the exam bed, trying desperately not to think about the other circumstances in which he might give you that instruction.
He rolls the stool beside the bed and reaches for your arm, turning it out gently.
His fingers are warm as he removes the gauze.
You try not to think too hard about his fingers.
âItâs a clean cut, at least,â he says after a second.
You nod. âSharp blade.â
Like he didnât already know that.
He releases your arm long enough to pull on a pair of gloves and gather what he needs from the tray beside the bed. You watch him move around the room with that same quiet efficiency that has been ruining your concentration all dayâsteady hands, calm voice, not a hint of hurry even though the department outside the door is probably chaos.
âCome a little closer,â he says, almost absentmindedlyâas if he doesnât know what saying something like that is going to do to you.
You shift against the mattress while he lifts your arm again, angling it under the exam light.
Heâs so close now you can hardly breathe. You can feel his breath against your cheek, his warmth bleeding through the thin fabric of your scrubs, every touch careful as he starts cleaning the cut.
The antiseptic stings enough to make you tense.
âEasy,â he murmurs, steadying your arm. âItâs not that bad.â
âIâm aware,â you say quickly. âI do actually work here.â
âYes,â he says mildly. âIâm aware of that too.â
You risk a glance at him thenâand immediately regret it.
Heâs standing now, leaning close enough that you could count every fleck of grey in his beard. Close enough to notice the way his glasses have slid slightly down his nose while he concentrates on the wound. His fingers move with careful precision as he prepares the needle driver, completely focused.
Completely calm.
Completely unaware that your brain is still stuck somewhere between the nurseâs station and a very inappropriate dream.
âHold still,â he murmurs.
Your stomach flipsâand when you squeeze your eyes shut, that exact moment from your dream flashes through your mind again.
The lidocaine burns for a second when he injects it, and you suck in a breath before you can stop yourself.
âBreathe,â he says automatically.
God.
If he could stop with the direct quotes from your dream, maybe you would actually be able to breathe.
You clear your throat, staring stubbornly at the wall now while he begins the first stitch.
âTry to relax,â he adds quietly.
You let out a short, incredulous laugh. âIâm trying.â
His hands pause for the briefest moment.
Then he glances up at you over the rim of his glasses.
âYou of all people should know better than to open a suture kit while walking.â
You let out a small, embarrassed breath and shift slightly on the bed while he works, trying not to react every time the needle passes neatly through the edge of the cut.
âSorry,â you mutter. âItâs been a weird day.â
âMhm.â
The sound is absentminded, the same one he makes when a patient is explaining symptoms he already understands. His attention stays on your arm while he ties the knot and reaches for the next stitch, movements calm and precise, like this is the most ordinary thing in the world.
âYou seemed a little distracted earlier,â he adds after a moment.
Your stomach tightens.
âBusy department.â
He hums again as he adjusts your arm slightly.
âNot exactly what I meant.â
You stare at the ceiling again, your pulse racing dangerously fast.
âItâs not unusual, you know,â he says after a moment, his voice calm and thoughtful as he works. âThereâs actually quite a lot of research on it. In high-stress environments peopleâs subconscious tends to latch onto someone they admire rather than⊠straightforward attraction. Itâs a way of organizing all that pressureâlong hours, constant adrenaline, the need to trust the people around you.â
He pauses briefly to adjust the stitch.
You feel like youâre about to throw up.
âHospitals are particularly good at creating that kind of dynamic,â he goes on. âEveryoneâs exhausted, everyoneâs relying on each other, and if there happens to be someone who seems steady in the middle of all thatâsomeone people look to when things go wrongâitâs very easy for admiration to blur into something else.â
Another small pause, the thread tightening neatly under his fingers.
âItâs rarely intentional,â he adds, quieter now. âMost of the time the person experiencing it doesnât even realise what their brain is doing.â
You finally look at him. His face is barely inches from yours, close enough that you can see the faint crease between his brows while he concentrates on the last stitch, all of his attention focused on closing the cut.
âWait,â you say slowly. âSo⊠IâIâm not fired?â
His hands still for the briefest moment before he glances at you, genuine confusion flickering across his face.
âFired?â
You swallow. âFor⊠you know. The thing I said. Out there. To the entire department.â
He huffs a small laughâbarely a breath.
âWhy would you be fired?â he says mildly. âEmbarrassing yourself in front of the nurses isnât exactly grounds for termination.â
Your face burns.
He sets the needle driver down and reaches for the scissors, his tone settling back into that same calm, matter-of-fact rhythm.
âYou shouldnât have let it distract you from your work, though,â he continues. âThatâs the only part I was concerned about. But one off day doesnât suddenly erase an otherwise solid record.â
You stare at him.
âConcerned?â
âMhm.â
He snips the suture, then reaches to adjust your arm slightly under the light, examining his work.
âFirst you were late,â he says, almost absently. âYou were flustered during the chest tube. Youâve been avoiding traumas all dayââ His eyes meet yours briefly. âAnd your attending. Youâve barely caught up on your charting, and youâve unintentionally encouraged the nursesâ gossiping.â
Your stomach drops.
âNot to mention,â he adds, just a little drier now, âthe pen you threw at Dr. Santos forâwhat? Teasing you, I presume.â
Your brain short-circuits.
Because suddenly, Danaâs voice echoes through your mind.
Careful, Robinavitch. Youâre hovering.
Hovering?
Like the way heâd stood so close while you placed that chest tube. The way his hand had settled at your back when he guided you out of triage.
Why was he even there to begin with?
Santosâ voice cuts through your mind next.
I swear heâs got a soft spot for you.
Iâm pretty sure heâd go there if you asked.
And suddenly the entire day looks⊠different.
Not like an attending keeping an eye on his resident.
Like a man trying very hard not to make it obvious he was paying attention to you.
Robby smooths the edge of the dressing over the sutured cut, pressing it down carefully as he glances back up at you.
âKeep that dry for the nextââ
And thatâs the moment your brain finally catches up.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, your hand shoots out and grabs the front of his scrubs, fingers bunching the fabric at his chest as you pull him the few inches closer.
Then you kiss him.
Itâs not graceful.
Itâs barely even planned.
Just a quick, impulsive press of your mouth against hisâwarm and startled and over almost as soon as it begins.
For half a second, he doesnât move at all.
âOhâfuck. Iââ
You drop his shirt like itâs suddenly on fire and lean back on the bed, horrified.
âIâm so sorry,â you blurt. âI donât know why I justââ
The apology dies halfway through, because Robby hasnât stepped away.
He hasnât leapt back, shocked or offended. Heâs just⊠there.
Where he was when you grabbed himâclose enough that you can still feel his warmth, with one hand resting lightly near your arm where heâd been finishing the dressing. For a second he simply watches you, studying your face with the same quiet concentration he uses when heâs working through a diagnosis, like heâs trying to decide whether the last thirty seconds actually happened.
Your pulse is hammering.
âI shouldnât haveââ you try again.
His hand lifts.
The movement is slow, deliberate, and before you can finish your sentence his thumb and forefinger settle lightly around your chin, tilting your face upward just enough that you have to look at him.
Your breath catches.
He hesitates for the briefest moment, his gaze moving across your face as if heâs still weighing the decision.
Then he leans in.
The first contact is firmer than you expectâhis mouth warm and solid against yours, the faint scrape of his beard against your skin as he adjusts the angle. His glasses are still on, the frame nudging the bridge of your nose when he shifts closer. His nose bumps yours before he tilts his head, finding a better position.
For a second itâs almost restrained.
Then it isnât.
His grip on your chin tightens a fraction as he deepens the kiss, tipping your head back against the pillow while he leans over you. The change is sudden enough that your hands catch the front of his scrubs again without thinking. The fabric bunches in your fingers as he moves closer, the pressure of his mouth shiftingâslower now but more certain, like heâs stopped pretending heâs about to pull away.
The beard youâd been trying not to notice all day brushes your cheek again when he moves, softer than you expected, and when his teeth graze your lower lip for half a second the sound that escapes you is embarrassingly honest.
He exhales quietly through his nose against your skin.
Not stopping.
If anything, the opposite.
His free hand comes down beside your shoulder on the mattress to brace himself as he leans over you, the movement tilting your head back further while his mouth finds yours againâdeeper this time, the rhythm of it suddenly practiced enough to make your stomach flip.
Like this is something he hasnât done in a while.
But definitely knows how to do.
And the entire time his thumb stays lightly under your chin, holding you exactly where he wants you while he kisses you like heâs still trying to decide whether this is a mistakeâand losing that argument by the second.
You barely notice when he shifts closer again, the movement subtle but unmistakable, his hand tightening slightly against the mattress beside you as if heâs about to lean in further, about to let himself forget the door, the department, the fact that this is an exam room in the middle of a shiftâ
The curtain whips open.
âBeen looking for you, Robinavitchââ
Abbot stops dead.
For half a second no one moves.
Youâre still on the bed, Robby bent over you, your hands fisted in the front of his scrubs while his hand is still braced beside your shoulder.
Abbotâs gaze flicks from your grip on Robbyâs shirt, to Robbyâs face, to the dressing heâd just placed on your arm.
His eyebrows climb slowly toward his hairline.
âWell,â he says after a beat. âI wish I could say I'm surprised, butâŠâ
Robby straightens immediately.
Not panicked. Not flustered.
Just very, very still for a second before he adjusts his glasses and steps back from the bed like heâd simply been finishing a routine procedure.
âJack,â he says evenly.
Abbot folds his arms, the corner of his mouth already curling upward.
âMichael.â
The silence stretches just long enough for the humiliation to fully settle in.
Abbot glances at you again, then back at Robby.
âShould I come back later,â he asks mildly, âor are you two⊠just about done here?â
The heat that floods your face is instantaneous, and you slide off the bed so fast you nearly fall.
âDonât get it wet for twenty-four hours, stitches out in a week unless thereâs redness, swelling, drainage, feverâI know the drill,â you ramble, slowly backing toward the door.
Robby has already turned back to the tray, calmly disposing of the suture needle like none of this is remotely unusual. Only the faint redness creeping up the back of his neck gives him away.
Abbot doesnât move. He just stands there, arms folded, with a look of deep theatrical satisfaction on his face.
âThis,â he says pleasantly, âis exactly what I meant, by the way.â
Your stomach drops.
âWhat?â
His brows lift.
âYour text.â
Your eyes widen.
Abbot tilts his head, studying you for a moment before glancing toward Robby again.
âI mean, honestly,â he adds. âI leave you two alone for whatâten hours?â
âWhat day shift does is none of your business, Dr. Abbot,â you mutter, trying to slip past him.
Abbotâs mouth twitches.
âOh, I wouldnât say that,â he says. âIt seems very much like my business now.â
You snort, the sound escaping before you can stop it.
âDonât be jealous,â you say, glancing over your shoulder as you step out the door. âHeâs still your boyfriend.â
Behind him, Robby drops the gauze into the bin and gives a quiet shake of his head, laughing softly despite himself.
âThatâs my girl,â he murmurs.
Abbotâs eyebrows shoot up.
âYour girl, huh?â
Robby scrubs a hand over his beard and turns away.
âShut up.â
Youâre not sure you were supposed to hear that last bitâbut it makes your heart race anyway.
The second you step into the hallway, the emergency department crashes back in around youâmonitors beeping, nurses calling for labs, a stretcher rattling past that you have to dodge. Almost like the last fifteen minutes never happened at all.
âHey, Doc,â Princess calls from the nurseâs station. âNorth Five, dizziness patientâs daughter is looking for a doctor, but Whitakerâs stuck in chairs.â
âAnd Javadi needs you in South Seventeen,â Perlah adds. âSomething about a rash.â
âOhâand imagingâs back on your sprained ankle kid,â Santos says. âHeâs asking when he can get out of here.â
You nod. âUhâright. Okay, yeah. Iâll justââ
âHey,â Dana cuts in, appearing beside you. âYou okay? Howâs the arm?â
You blink down at the fresh dressing like youâd almost forgotten about it.
âOh. Yeah. Itâs fine.â
She studies it for a second before her gaze drifts up to your faceâand her brow lifts.
âUh-huh,â she says slowly.
You frown. âWhat?â
âNothing,â she says lightly, starting to walk away. âJust thought that looked like beard burn.â
She gives a small shrug, then glances back over the top of her glasses.
âBut I know my doctors are far too professional for that.â
Your entire face goes hot.
You open your mouthâthen close it again, because there is absolutely nothing you can say to that without making it worse.
Santos leans across the desk at the nurseâs station, squinting at your face.
ââŠOh my God.â
Her eyes widen.
âOh my God.â
Your stomach sinks.
Will this day ever end?
© 2025 geminiwritten.
âhey, if i donât come back, youâve got a swinginâ bachelor pad!â






