I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (âsay bye bus!â) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
Iâm glad thereâs a teacher version of âaccidentally called teacher âmomââ
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people âmy lordâ
One time during family prayer, dad began: âour father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?â
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your crave?â) asked, âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your problem?â
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendyâs and the girl said âWelcome to McDonaldsâ and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered âplease open your books to page eightâ, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say â$2.60 is your totalâ while handing back their change, or say âhow are you doing today?â instead of âhave a good day!â like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: âfew books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be bothâ
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say âthanks, youre all setâ and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said âthanks, youre importantâ
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said âoh thank you! youre important too!â
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was âat least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined âyoure welcomeâ and âno problemâ into âyoure a problemââ
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, âThis is why we use our walking feet.â we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, âyeah, okay, i shouldâve done that.â
Iâve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like âbehindâ and âcoming aroundâ as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; Iâm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a âcoming with a knifeâ while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her âHello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alexâ
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying âis that for here or to go?â
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with âgladlyâ or âmy pleasureâ, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying âRobertâ I hollered âName and donor number!?â into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, âokay, thatâll be $5.46!â I cheerfully responded, âDo you have a Borders rewards card?â
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog âSirâ when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, âNot a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!â before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout âi can get the next person in line!â but instead of saying that she yelled âHI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITHâ to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog âno thank youâ so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times iâve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyerâs cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, âno⌠I have the bagsâ
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying âWould you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?â I said âWould you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?â And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like âtf are you doing?â
I work at Hardees and we have to yell âthank youâ whenever weâre told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.
One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,
âTHANK YOUâ
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, âBad boy! You need to wait!â needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I know Iâve reblogged this a billion times but Iâve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.
One time while cashiering I tried to ask a man if he wanted his milk bagged but instead said âdo you want your bags milked?â And he laughed at me for a solid five minutes while I tried to emotionally recover
I worked in a call center doing tech support for 4 months. To this day I still slip up when I answer the phone with âHi thank you for calling Vivint Smart Home! My name is Shannon can I get your name and phone number?â
One time I went to El Fenix (local Tex Mex chain) with my mom and the host said âhi welcome to Chiliâs!â and immediately caught himself like âIâm sorry thatâs my weekend jobâ
One time I went to greet a customer that walked in my store. I meant to say, âHi welcome in! What can I help you find today?â and instead I said! âHi! Whatâs your phone number for our rewards program?â as if I was ringing them out on the register. She just stared at me as I tried (and failed) to find a way to save myself from that.
