Welcome to My hall of cryptic depression

thank god I’m not the only one

They are so shaped

one of the animals ever for sure

So I Heard your dad won the county fair prize ribbon for widest ass in the tri state area

Elderly woman seeking shelter from the rain voice: Hello dearie. Would you be so kind as to let me stay the nigh–oh. You would? Oh. No, no, I’m very grateful, it’s just that *discards my mortal disguise* it’s just that–okay stop screaming–I’m actually a powerful faerie sorceress and I was kind of, god this is awkward, expecting you to deny me shelter? So that I could curse you for your hubris? Yeah I don’t actually need a place to stay this was just a weird little test I wanted to do for no reason. Yeah it sounds dumb when I say it out loud I’m just gonna go

cool bell dude. who does it toll for

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

reblog Don’t santa for a drama-free holiday

*seductively lays across your lap and starts crying*