ALL ABOARD FOR FUNTIME

I hope this e-mail finds you living in a shotgun shack

I hope this e-mail finds you in another part of the world

I hope this e-mail finds you behind the wheel of a large automobile

I hope this e-mail finds you in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

say what you will about the world ending and 2020 being hell. since quarantines started, the air is filled with laughter and talk. i hear kids playing in backyards with their family. i hear people talking happily on the phone with loved ones. everyone has their doors open to the porches at our apartment. you smell cooking, see the lights of backyard firepits, hear children delighted to spend time with parents that are never home. i love the videos of people playing music with their neighbors, playing bingo from their balconies, pranking their family members, and streaming with their friends. i love that my mom and dad keep stealing access to netflix because they are home from work and finally have a chance to watch movies together. my neighbors wave at me when i take the dog out while they laugh with each other over a beer. i know more than anything its a commentary on capitalism but it’s still great to see people being people. its good to know there are still humans and that they are being relentlessly, beautifully human, regardless of what happens.

Plague Rave Plague Rave Plague Rave!!!!

I wish I could terrorize ancient people with things that are commonplace today

releasing a roomba into the greek forums

I could be a bacterium. Easy

sorry for acknowledging harry potter on main but one thing about the books that haunts me to this day is what happened to harry’s dragon miniature that he got in the triwizard tournament. the last time it’s mentioned he puts it down on his bedside and it curls up to sleep and then we never hear about it again. what happened to the dragon. nobody let jkr see this because i don’t want her to pull something out of her rancid ass but i need to know what happened to that dragon.

i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore

Keanu if you’re listening I’m not a little bitch like OP come get a taste

@trulymaddydeeply literally all of my patients