or you can just call me xiel! (ae/aer, he/him, se/ser). i love videogames and making music. trans androgyne. 20β y/o.
here's some stuff i'm doing:
this is my latest work in which i both sang and created the music!
π Alchemist ZETHIEL (OC VSinger)
A mystical alchemist who sings with an enchanting voice, transformed across different mediums. He's my OC, so a different entity from myself. He's my pride and joy...
Check out the sideblog for him! @alchemist-zethiel
π¨ My art tag #11550art
I draw sometimes, go check it out!
π΅ My site & music works
Here you can find my about me, commissions, and credits!! (For easy access, here's my VGen and portfolio.)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Apart from the horribly ridiculous round boobs on the original, what I really miss is the jellyfish theme being taken to the absolute limit. So we need more ruffles!! BRING ON THE RUFFLES!
That said, I reckon she looks best as a blend of sexiness, danger and gentle strictness, so why not pair a formal suit with lace lingerie? I absolutely love contrasts like that in outfits.
Please, either read this post or watch this stream. (Sorry, beware of mic scuff... @_@ no one told me...)
I was able to open up about my transness, and my struggles related to it as a music creator that have deeply affected me to this day. The limitations placed upon me, the harassment and transphobia I used to face, the goals I have as a result of being trans... Sure, I'm able to discuss it on Tumblr and BSky in text posts. But it's a whole different experience discussing it on stream. While I did not stream it on ZETHIEL main YT channel to avoid being shadowbanned/completely suppressed again, it was still on my regular Twitch, as well as streamed on ZETHIEL sub account on YT. So it's just as "official" as it gets for being linked to my primary method of content creation.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Main Topic starts at 34:18 | Sorry for mic scuff!!Side channel of @AlchemistZETHIEL VSinger."Toumei Tea Time" is a talk stream series focu
(TLDR/recap copy pasted from BSky)
I was able to publicly, verbally say "I am transgender" for the first time in 5 years as a music creator online instead of dancing around the topic. I was so anxious saying it and it led me to break down into tears.
On my PL, all I wanted was to create a video about how wonderful it is to sing while being trans, because of the joy I was experiencing while singing on HRT.
YouTube punished me massively for that and I could no longer meaningfully grow my channel.
I've avoided saying "trans" outright ever since.
Being able to tell my story about why I have to avoid the topic of transness, while still portraying it in a roundabout way is deeply important to me.
YouTube is my main platform for any type of growth and showing my works and portfolio. They essentially told me trans pride is not allowed.
I have to adapt to the limitations in order to keep growing. I can't take any risks. But also I've grown a lot as an artist and become more proud, genuine in my songs.
In my own way, in whatever way I can, I want to become a visible, popular transmasc creator to inspire others and tell my story.
I'll continue using whatever roundabout methods and workarounds to continue telling my whole truth while not being suppressed. It's necessary for me to have a clean channel that is viable for growth, in order to reach my goals and dreams of reaching more people.
(script outline I prepared for the stream below, contents differ from what I covered in the actual stream but it contains the information I want to talk about in text form.)
Point #1: I am transgender
I have transitioned from female to male, I have been on HRT since 2019, and I am referred to as a man.
Point #2: On my past life, I tried to make a trans singing positivity video, but it completely shadowbanned my channel and it was no longer viable for growth.
This is why I absolutely refuse to take any risks on my new channel to say I am trans directly. But it's really messed up that all I wanted was to create a video about trans positivity, but the video itself kept getting privated and comments turned off without me doing anything, and then my channel just. Views were totally tanked from that point forwards. I couldn't do anything anymore. I couldn't grow properly. The algorithm wasn't picking up my videos anymore. So I had to give up on and all the hard work I put in over the years to get 4,000 subscribers and hundreds and thousands of views.
Point #3: I do not explicitly say I am trans as Alchemist ZETHIEL on my main YouTube channel.
Because of this incident, I decided to take no risks going forwards. I wouldn't curse, I wouldn't say I'm trans, I wouldn't do anything too risky or βout there,β I have to be seiso in order to continue on this path, I don't want to start over again and ruin everything.
But as a workaround, I devised my lore and character concept to be undeniably transgender when you take a look at it. βAn alchemist who changed his body and voice using alchemy.β My UTAU voicebanks, my ZETHIEL ZERO UTAU voicebank having that high voice while I have my post-transition voice, if you connect the dots then it's very clear to the people who know.
On Bluesky and Tumblr my profiles have the trans flag. On my character lore document and on my Toyhouse and VSona it also states I am trans. It's YouTube, Twitch, and Twitter where I do not explicitly state it.
Point #4: For most of my past life, I was openly trans and not on HRT.
I was perceived as a female vocalist even though I didn't want to be perceived that way. Dysphoria crushed me but I loved singing more than anything. I had many opportunities and a lot more popularity than I have now, but it was eating me up inside to have to deal with the misalignment of my voice and gender, and always getting harassed for it. I would get tens and thousands of views, sometimes videos I was featured in would get to a million views. But that's around 8-9 years ago now.
At first I felt bad going on HRT partially because I knew people would miss my old voice. That's why I created the arcdia persona and character, to preserve and archive it in a way. And when I was able to recreate her voice using new technology, that was exciting. But I haven't done as much with her recently, mostly because I don't really miss it anymore, and people forgot about the past me also. She's still a key part of the ZETHIEL lore though.
Things are different with Alchemist ZETHIEL, where I'm not exactly openly trans, I'm kind of stealth, but also kind of not? It's something you wouldn't exactly know when you first encounter me, and especially if you're someone who doesn't know what the βchanged my body and voice with alchemyβ means exactly. Granted I still do get mistaken as a girl now and then but, because I know my voice is more stereotypically masculine now, and most especially my singing voice more than my speaking voice, it's easier to correct people than it was before and be understood. And I'm also legally male too, which is nice.
All in all, how I've presented as ZETHIEL has fostered a much kinder and welcoming community now than it was before. I think also part of it is because back then, I had a mostly male audience because men are typically attracted to women, so they like me because I have traits similar to a woman, but they get angry and harass me when I say I'm not a woman. My community felt like something I had to actively fight against.
But nowadays, I'm on the other side, where I'm attracting more of a female audience, or rather a balanced audience, which is new?? I'm not used to girls liking me for being a boy⦠But it's nice. I also have the privilege of my voice and gender aligning so there's less harassment. More or less, I present as expected by cis people so I have some privilege there, but I still express my transness and androgyny in a roundabout way.
So, it's resulted in a community that is definitely more welcoming and kind than the one I had before. I truly want to thank the AlcheGang for being such lovely people because I never imagined I would have a community that actually is so accepting and supporting rather than fighting me.
Another aspect of my popularity before and now is just that I just don't cover popular songs anymore, I just sing what makes me happy and fits my lore and character concept. But I think my strategy for this will change going forwards, I want to cover more popular songs, but specifically still ones that are fitting for my lore.
Point #5: I want to get more popular to be a role model for other trans people, especially trans men & transmascs.
At first, ZETHIEL project was something more for fun and not as serious, so I didn't really care about subscribers as much back then. It was mostly to make myself happy, nobody else. But I think things shifted 2 years ago in 2024, that's when I started getting more serious and more active with singing. I've ramped things up even more this year with streaming and having a Live2D model and doing even more collabs.
I want to become popular again, not just for the sake of popularity itself, but because there's something far greater than myself on the line. See, something happened maybe 2 or 3 years ago, I actually β there was a trans man artist I looked up to, a lot, and his OC was widely beloved by other trans people especially. There's a lot of different types of transmasculinity, and that was the only one I saw that was popular and also actually resonated with me. But that artist has since detransitioned, which left me incredibly devastated.
I think I came to the conclusion that if there's no one else, then it has to be me. Which is why Iβve been working really hard ever since, and I truly donβt think thereβs any compromise on this, that I cannot stop no matter what at this point, and I have to give it my all. The reason I want to βtell my storyβ so badly is because that story is a narrative yet unknown, yet resonates with so many people who are out there but suffering just like me.
There are surely other transmasc VTubers but I only discovered them after I started becoming more involved as a VTuber in 2026 this year. Back in 2024, I was still very recluse and introverted, so I couldn't have known. Still, I really want to express it in my own way.
i think i need to revise zethiel utau TOS bcs i literally just realized zethiel artfight perms and the utau TOS are like slightly conflicting. i also need to think about it carefully bcs i'm confused as hell
Special schedule post on Tumblr, I will be playing Dragalia Lost this week, starting from Chapter 3! (...I have a new save file I want to continue and I don't feel like starting from 1, LOL)
Whether you've always been a Lostie or you're just interested in what it's all about, please come by my channel on Friday at 4pm PDT!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Whew... all the post-con thoughts are rolling in and there's a LOT of them.
I'm so happy as a fan, I'm so happy as a creator, I'm so excited to have community, but also I have visions flashing through my mind about my future with anxiety and excitement and criticism all at once. It's just so surreal.
I had the best time as a fan. Seeing KAF, losing myself in the excitement, seeing so many talents I look up to performing and attending, seeing all the merch of things I love and recognize, seeing everyone enjoy themselves, I think "we love the same things, we speak the same heart, I am where I belong right here." I think the best was hanging out with Observers at our afterparty/meetup. These niche songs I love so passionately, being sung and enjoyed by a group of English-speaking people is truly surreal. The euphoria and joy of that is something precious I first learned back attending Genshou IV & KAF 5th, then even more a few weeks back at holoSerendipity. This new feeling is becoming familiar in a way I can accept.
As a creator, handing out my business cards, explaining what I do to people, singing at karaoke... I met people who recognized and appreciated my work, that I have an impact on people in this community. That feeling is still something I'm processing. The fact my virtual creations have impact in the real world that I can bear witness to, it's like proof I'm doing something right, that I should keep moving forwards. Keep working.
A spark lit inside me of "what can I do next time to make this better?" -- Give out freebies, redesign my card! I didn't realize 100 business cards wasn't enough! Oh, maybe I could apply to perform somewhere within this con next time!-- Since it's my first time and I was mainly here as an Observer for KAF, I didn't do as much as a creator to share my potential and express myself. But, every bone in my body is wanting to do more, wanting to move, wanting to sing. We'll see if we can make that happen and if the stars align for it.
Because I see myself reflected in the performers and I know I can do what they do. And being here, witnessing it for myself... It has illuminated the vision to see that path move forwards.
I was happy people were interested in my design and my VTuber, hopefully more people can support me from here on out, that I can resonate with more people and show them a new soundscape and story. The business card table... I've definitely looked into others, trying to look for other singers I can follow, which really gives me a lot of insight looking in my fellow community members as well. Where I stand, what my values are, what other people's values are, how to promote oneself, how to reach other people... That's a lot to think about. Being extremely particular about my own direction has its pros and cons for sure.
I'm still bad with socializing and networking properly online though. I feel like it's easier to tell people in person to subscribe/follow, LOL. So, I think it makes these events worth it and helpful for me in the future.
But circling back to KAF and Kamitsubaki... They're the entire reason I got into VTubing and specifically becoming a VSinger. They're the continuous spark of inspiration that shows my way forwards. I know so many song lyrics by heart (I knew the most out of anyone there at the Observer afterparty????), I listen to them all the time, their songs and stories resonated with me so much that it led me on this new path of creation myself. They are quite niche in the overall VTuber world, so I am too as a result. So... That's why finding any way to look for my people is important and precious to me. And to be able to sing my heart out upon more and more stages. Just as Kamitsubaki attracts a very specific kind of fan -- the community I belong to so dearly -- I myself as a creator seek to find the very specific people who can share in my song and my story, and to open up more gateways and opportunities to find those people wherever in the world they are hiding.
I went to the Youtaite Meetup!! I met new and familiar faces!!
Artist Alley hunting, I love that the entire thing was VTubers, I'm in heaven. I got some goodies for myself and some friends!
HIGHLIGHT OF THE ENTIRE THING: I went to Offkai Live to see KAF!! All the performers did so well -- I especially LOVED Trickle's set!! The moshpit was so lively and hilarious and fun too, lots of fun moments being shared on Twitter
Oh yeah, the beginning OffChoir had so many good song choices!! I love they featured songs from some iconic male VTubers too!!! It was a medley, a love letter to VTubers as a whole and was such a good opening act.
I joined the floor for KAF!! Her setlist was purely KAF and almost purely for Observers: phony, Answer (English), White Bouquet, Error Song, School Wars, and Kaikou!! phony was definitely the best choice for an opener to catch everyone's attention, but it's also still a very KAF choice since it's KAFU's official-unofficial signature song. But then she just went straight into "this is KAF and this is for the Observers and I LOVED IT!!!!!!! I was so surprised no Kako wo Kurau (it played during the intermission as instrumental) or even no encore, but she slayed anyways and impressed everyone with her intense and passionate singing. I love that she focused on new era KAF and her English has improved so much. (Her hearing "H2O! H2O!" instead of "omizu tasukaru" must've been funny) I actually don't remember if White Bouquet was at KAF 5th when I went but the fact she chose White Bouquet of all songs to perform at OffKai Live was INSANE. I yelled so hard when it came on. It's my favorite KAF song of all time and I'll treasure this deeply.
I went to the Observer Karaoke & DJ afterparty, it was unfortunately cut short bcs of power issues but it was so fun chatting, singing, and vibing with everyone!! I was the one who sang Shangri-La on karaoke βͺ it was such a fun experience observing out with everyone in English!!!! Once-in-a-lifetime experience. I love OBSERVERS!!!!!
I saw the Himehina concert (only half of it bcs I had to leave for some other events)!! Kako wo Kurau was CRAZY I was screaming so hard, I wonder if they chose that song for OffKai bcs they knew KAF would also be performing there? As well as Echo x Hibikase with the screen breaking thing was also a crazy cool reference!! The backup dancers were actually crazy too. IDK if HimeHina is my cup of tea but it was cool. (I left my penlight at home and couldn't find time to buy another one at the venue. I was not gonna buy the $65 carrot)
Went to the Holostars meetup but I didn't manage to socialize with people :'D I just took pics but it looked so fun I was smiling so big seeing the cosplayers and stuff
Walked around the con a bit more, I missed the artist alley today bcs of my previous scheduled activities... But I did get to look at the KAF itasha which was so cool
Went to karaoke and sang Meconopsis βͺ I went all out LOL
Hope Day 2 is even better since KAF will be there!!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I wanted to look back at 2026 so far since it's the halfway point of the year, roughly. In this playlist is:
Oumen Mokushiroku (Solo Cover)
Honeymoon Un Deux Trois (Solo Cover)
Shintsuki Recollection - 4 Year Anniversary Virtual Concert (6 songs from me + 5 songs from guests)
Live2D Debut Stream
Unwavering Startorch (Collab Cover)
EAT THE PAST (from Shintsuki Recollection)
Thistlect (Solo Cover)
Feature in another_fest 2026
Lower One's Eyes (Solo Cover)
Feature in Noc's Birthday Concert
Dawn from Akatsuki no Yona (Collab Cover from miiso maytime spring fest)
World's End Dancehall ~Pure Light~ (UTAU Remix Cover)
Itooshi Hito no Tame Ni (Collab Cover from Sczhaerenade Concert)
Koi ni Naritai AQUARIUM (Collab Cover)
Sotsugyou desu ne (Collab Cover)
ABSOLUTE 5 (Collab Cover)
Wow... That's a lot... On average that's 2.29 projects per month! If you count the songs in Shintsuki Recollection on their own (16 on the list, minus 2 is 14, plus 6 is 20) then that's closer to 3 projects per month.
(These are not even counting projects I'm working on that are unreleased, as well as commissions I've worked on)
CRAZY output so far compared to last year. 2025 playlist has 14 entries in it for the entirety to 2025, while 2026 playlist has the 16 for just the first half of the year (soon to be 17...)
To be completely fair to my past self in 2025, towards the beginning of the year I did have some issues going on IRL, and then I literally also had a whole entire surgery that stopped my output for a bit (though it did not stop me from mixing + publishing my Tiny Bunny cover while I was still... recovering.... LMAO)
This year I'm super duper determined especially since I've already graduated from my bachelor's program so I have more time to dedicate to this, and I really am happy looking back at everything here so far at the midpoint.
i mainly am going to see kaf, but i bought tix for himehina at the last minute too... i don't wanna miss out on the opportunity to see some vsinger legends you know?
