TRUE

making fun of small dick energy isn’t anti body positive fools. it’s about your spiritual dick. your soul cock. u can have a small dick and have the biggest dick energy in the world. dick energy transcends human form u cowards

What did I just read

the truth 

Oceans 8. Was it groundbreaking? Not really? Did I feel ready to rob a jewelry store and make a girl group of criminals? Absolutely! Do I want more movies like this? OF COURSE

Is he an alien

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Hey, do you know that feeling of hitching up a long skirt so you don’t fall on your face when walking upstairs, and then you immediately become a wretched yet resolute Jane Austen character? It’s a universal thing, right?

It’s like resting a laundry basket against your hip and suddenly you’re a long-suffering peasant woman, wondering if you’ll survive the winter.

i want to know what bears think sometimes

i want………….. a summer románce 🥀✨

reblog to find…. a summer románce 🥀✨

adhd brain: work bad also adhd brain, craving structure: days off…boring

Alexa, release my inhibitions

Sending your pornhub search history to all contacts in your address book now.

cute date idea: we go to a botanical garden. you point out a flower and i immediately eat it

left brain right brain but it’s bo burnham and john mulaney