i can’t even... words

Adelaide, Australia, 12/08/2015 (text // video)

Adelaide, Australia, 12/08/2015 (text // video)

“This is our fourth… fourth time playing in this arena on different tours. I hope you gonna be as good as you always have been, but you were better this time, you’re even better! Um, a couple days ago, I was in one of my meet and greets, and, um, this guy came up to me and thanked me for writing the song I’m about to play, because he said that it helped him get through a breakup that he recently went through. And, um, you know, this song is not only about a breakup, it’s about what happens to you afterward, because if you… if you think about it – which I over-think about everything, so I over-thought about this – when you fall in love with someone, you let someone into your life, you let your guard down, you, um… you decide to think optimistically, and then you picture your future maybe with them in it. And, all of a sudden, you’ve made all these choices, all with the best of intentions, and what happens when someone disappears from your life – you have a breakup, or you fall out of touch – all of a sudden, when that person you let into your life is gone – the first thing you start to do is regret the things you did when you let that person in… those things that were beautiful – trusting someone, being naive and… and being a daydreamer, and thinking about someone all day long, and thinking that they might be with you forever – those things – you start to regret them, as if they were mistakes. And I think that’s the worst part about getting your heart broken – is regretting doing beautiful things, like letting someone into your life and trusting them. Do you agree? And then you start to feel embarrassed that you introduced this person to your friends, and your family, and you talked about them like they were just gonna be in your life from that point on. And you feel humiliated and embarrassed that you did that. And then time passes… little by little you start to replace habits with new habits – rather than checking your phone for a text message from them in the morning, you… you just don’t, and you just check the time. Rather than spending all your time with that person or thinking about that person, maybe you start spending all your time with your friends or thinking about how to be a better friend. And maybe… maybe you start living your life the way you would live it if no one else’s opinion mattered but yours. And I think for heartbroken people, I think time moves at a slower pace, and I think for heartbroken people, they walk around as if everyone else can see it, like it’s written all over them, like… like they’re painted with it, or, like, their heartbreak is some kind of scar that everyone else can see. Over time, you start to see the scars less when you look in the mirror. You stop thinking that you’re painted with this heartbreak that happened to you. And then, all of a sudden, one day you wake up, and you look in the mirror, and you’re just clean.” (x)

tag yourself im chaotic average

thanks edward

@gunsforpinkman 

— Morrissey, “I’d Love To,” Viva Hate (via wordsnquotes)

But I feel an infinite tenderness for you.

“You guys are so unbelievable… to show up to a concert, not only with the lyrics memorised ready to scream for however long that was, I didn’t time it, I was having too good of a time, and also, you know, I see a lot of people up there… you’ve got, like, Christmas tree lights wrapped around your face – yeah, you – and you’ve got, like, signs that you’ve made, and you’ve got my face on your shirt… it’s so nice  because you put so much thought into being here. And I see that. I see that, not only did you rock up here and have a show tonight, but you approached the whole thing with such generosity, and that’s my favourite quality in a human being – being generous. Also, it feels like there’s a lot of optimism and positivity going around. I’m seeing people dancing together and people who maybe don’t usually sing in public screaming the words – it’s all very amazing. And, like, I think about it a lot, how it’s… it’s sad to me that the qualities of optimism, generosity, and vulnerability – they’re becoming more rare these days. And I think that they become a little more rare as you grow up, because it takes those qualities in order to let somebody into your life, like a friend who you tell all your secrets to, or someone that you’re in love with, who you… who you let into your world and introduce to your friends and family, you claim them as yours, you let them claim you as theirs. And, um, when you choose somebody – whether it’s a friend or someone you’re in love with – you’re exhibiting such beautiful qualities. And I want you to remember that it’s not stupid to fall in love, or to let somebody in, even if they end up hurting you or betraying you. It’s never stupid. And I think that a large part of what I wrote 1989 about was a process to figure out who I was again, because we start to lose ourselves when we question whether it’s stupid to let people into your life, whether it’s foolish to trust people, whether we’re uncool if we get excited about things. Because we live in a world where, um – I don’t believe that the cynics outnumber the optimists, but I do believe that they’re louder and they’re meaner. I think that, if there’s one thing I would just love for you to remember as you go through your life, it’s that even if somebody hurts you, even if you get let down, even if you trust someone and you tell them your secrets, and they go and run and tell everybody – that’s not on you. That’s on them, okay? Cause I know sometimes when we get our hearts broken, or we lose people from our life, and then, eventually, we lose the qualities that make us who we are… like that generosity, and that giving spirit, and that “come on, welcome to my life. I trust you” – that quality – if you lose that, you can find it again, as long as you continue to live your life, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, and having faith in the fact that trusting people, loving people, letting people in, is not a bad, stupid, foolish thing to do. And I ended up going through 2 years of figuring this out, and then I found myself in London walking down the street, and I realised that I was back to the old me again after 2 years of thinking about it. And so a couple days later, I scheduled a writing session, brought in this song that I’d written, and I ended up writing it with this amazing woman named Imogen Heap. And we put it as the last song on the album, because I think that finding yourself is the most important thing that I ever wrote about on 1989. And so if you know the words to Clean, please sing along.” (x)

Shark finning infographic by ripetungi.