celia cruz orbital laser cannon

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

A CENTURY AGO

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

this is how I'm finding out the racist muppet man is married to a woman of colour what the fuck is happening

you will often find that racist white men are extremely predatory and fetishistic towards women of color and Asian women in particular, I’m not claiming to know the particular dynamics of their relationship but droves of racist white dudes have Asian wives to the point it is no longer shocking.

not saying this is what that last person was implying at all, but there have been real times where people have acted like being bored to tears by domestic fluff means i dont understand the hypothetical appeal of that happening in real life. and sometimes i just get so blindsided by other peoples understanding of what fiction is even, like, for, categorically. because wish fulfillment/aspiration is so low down on the list of what makes a work hit for me. in many many instances my enjoyment of a piece of fiction goes up directly in proportion with how much i would never in a million years want to directly experience anything happening there.

this is so mean. idgaf. whenever I see an infertile woman trying to guilt childfree women or attacking people who aborted an unwanted pregnancy or trying to guilt trip vulnerable young people into letting her adopt their (wanted) baby and complaining about adoptions not going through and the birth parents keeping their child I’m like “yep, the universe knew you shouldn’t be a parent. not sure I believe in fate but I see the wisdom in that.” it isn’t all people struggling with infertility, of course but sometimes a person will say something and you’ll be like “I genuinely hope a vulnerable child is never subjected to you and I doubt your fertility issues are what turned you into this monster, it’s just a convenient sympathy ploy you weaponize”