celia cruz orbital laser cannon

some bozo with the username laundryguy47 keeps jumping in to all my Halo matches and ruining them. what he does is he turns them into some kinda laundry RP. ok, listen, what i mean is, when he joins the game he gets on mic and tells everyone to go to a certain spot on the map and pretend like its a coin operated laundromat and we're all doing laundry there. and they just do it. everybody stops killing eachother like you're supposed to in the game and they go pretend to do laundry for the whole match. nobody even questions it, they all just do it like thats normal. but that's not normal. its sickening and it cant be allowed to continue

some of the sessions have been kinda fun though i gotta say. there's actually quite a bit more depth to pretend laundry than you might think. lately ive been experimenting with pretending to use fabric softener

fighting game fans wondering why the genre is starved for new blood when they violently oppose any changes to the status quo of complex inputs and needing to spend hours at a time in the training room will never not be funny to me. girl not even MOBAs make you do that.

"but MOBAs and some shooters have just as high a skill floor" well the key difference is that the main method of improving at those games mostly involves actually playing them, which is not true of like, Blazblue. Yes, you'll want to look up a few video guides if you're truly getting competitive and yes, occasionally you'll want to enter the practice range to test out an interaction or technique, but that makes up a vanishingly small amount of your play experience compared to fighting games.

Because I'm a fan of a few different genres of competitive games I get to see this topic come up every month or so and every single time the FGC will collectively be like "it's because other people are Weak and Can't Handle Losing" while ignoring the giant pillar of their favorite genre that many players consider actively player-hostile, for fear that acknowledging it will make ArcSys immediately turn every game in their catalogue into a reskin of Divekick.

fighting game fans wondering why the genre is starved for new blood when they violently oppose any changes to the status quo of complex inputs and needing to spend hours at a time in the training room will never not be funny to me. girl not even MOBAs make you do that.

"but MOBAs and some shooters have just as high a skill floor" well the key difference is that the main method of improving at those games mostly involves actually playing them, which is not true of like, Blazblue. Yes, you'll want to look up a few video guides if you're truly getting competitive and yes, occasionally you'll want to enter the practice range to test out an interaction or technique, but that makes up a vanishingly small amount of your play experience compared to fighting games.

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

People who you think shouldn't be paid--or should be paid, like, 1993 wages--for their work: Writers. Printers. Bookstore workers. Bartenders. Cocktail Waitresses. Museum staff.

i'm afraid the phrase "touch my wee wee touch my fucking wee wee!" has become a consistent part of my internal monologue vocabulary

here's a trick for getting this stain out. did you know you can make that dish in batches and it freezes great? that's actually really easy to fix, you only need a screwdriver and a replacement hinge. I can show you if you want. I can't buy you a new one, but maybe this will help. maybe the info will serve you one day. most people don't realize you can ask for a discount on those types of purchases, did you know? here's how I would try. maybe this will save you a little money. I don't have anything else to offer you. I hope it's enough. it's not much, but this'll balance the flavor and make cheap taste fantastic, it's crazy right? I wish I had more to give you. I've heard of that before, here's what someone I know tried. maybe that'll save you some time and worry. you can buy that part and do it yourself, let me take a look. here's what I would do. let's give it a shot. it's ugly, but it works. I hope that fixes it. I hope I made things easier for you.

can you hear the "I love you" between every sentence? if you listen closely, it's repeating over and over and over, every time you keep trying, owing your life a thousand times over to the ones who came before, to the ones surviving alongside you. keep trying, I love you, I hope this helps, I love you, we'll find a way, i love you. in the heartbeats of silence, I love you. there's nothing else I can give you, I love you. this is all I have. I love you.