trilogy

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

LETS FUCKING GO!!!!!!!

when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like … as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began

all joking aside it’s really funny that like little kids do things like that sometimes . my mom would look at her phone everytime she was at a red light so i got into the habit of saying “green” once the light changed so she would know . one day i was like “i wonder if i say green while it’s red if she’ll go” and so i did . and she did . and i got yelled at real bad

though looking back on it what the hell was she doing relying on like a five year old . who was a chronic shoplifter and liar . for that . i’m surprised we didn’t get into more accidents