formerly sploon-fic-fan

what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

in my mind if dragons were real then western and eastern dragons would be only distantly related species filling the same ecological niche across different continents. but due to visual similarities got called the same thing in English. and it would be one of those things that you hear on trivia game shows and go "oh that's neat" about and then move on with your day, like how tanuki get lumped in with racoons even tho racoons are musteloids and tanuki are canids. do you see my vision.

Your first taxonomy lecture they'd open with "'Dragon' is a strategy that has evolved multiple times, not a clade. Like 'tree' and 'crab.'"

If I ever get that transhuman magical girl RPG off the ground, there are absolutely going to be near-exact takeoffs of Puella Magi Madoka Magica’s various witches, except they’re not monsters or failure states, they’re just what happens when a magical girl decides to push her transformation as far as it can possibly go. Deeply strange people, for the most part, but pleasant enough if you can figure out how to productively communicate with them.

I understand the video game conceit of still needing to pay for supplies when you're saving the world because the shopkeeper's gotta restock somehow, but sometimes imagining what the supply chain in question must look like can be very funny. Like, buddy, we're both trapped at the bottom of an active volcano; who the fuck is your wholesaler?

You think Hollow Knight: Silksong gave Hornet the ability to magic up consumable items directly from game currency as a reflection of her heritage as the daughter of a god of craftsmanship, but really it was just to avoid having to explain why the Abyss has a guy selling bulk cases of ninja stars.

doomscrolling tiktok together and I turn to you and ask, "why doesn't your algorithm recommend any videos with Black people?"

guess what buddy? the jerk store just called. they didn't have anything to say. just fast, irregular breathing into the mic

*All of these make me tear up.