traveler! what you are, I was; what now I am, you too will be

if a person refers to themself as a “silly little guy” they are usually filled with a deep evil

You see, the average english march warden in the late 16th century was like: sir robert whatever (1502-1620) held his government office hereditarily. he is famous for killing 2 of his fellow march wardens over a game of football, donating half his yearly income to the border reivers, attempting to assassinate the entire scottish royal family for unclear reasons (he was exiled to derbyshire for 2 weeks as punishment), refusing to put anyone in prison ever, recreationally killing half the population of the area he was in charge of, gambling away the other half of his yearly income (with the border reivers), and once saying something nasty to a supporter of queen mary, which historians credit with being the reason why sir francis walsingham started laughing when someone asked him if the government was going to do anything about sir robert whatever reacting to one of the other march wardens arresting his town drunk by kidnapping the guy's whole family and then drawing and quartering the guy in front of them. his wife was walter raleigh's daughter for some reason. and just so we're clear robert whatever would've been the only thing preventing scotland from invading england here

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*

(person who hasn’t read the primary text voice) what if I made some reductive assumptions

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse