surviving mental abuse

~ You feel mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted..

~ You are constantly on high alert, or feel like you are always walking on egg shells

~ You feel like you lost yourself, and no longer know who you are...

~ You feel isolated and lonely

~ You are suffering from low self esteem and you never feel good enough, or you may feel like there i something wrong with you..

~ You suffer from depression and/or anxiety

~ You are in a constant state of confusion and life feels overwhelming, and you often feel like you don't know what you are doing.

~ You are having trouble being functional, and accomplishing everyday tasks..

~your entire wellbeing is suffering and you are getting physical symptoms like headaches, or other physical problems and/or illnesses as a result of chronic stress in these relationships..

Limiting contact and keeping the child away from the other parent

Not informing the other parent of important information (medical, education)

Not allowing a child to express his or her love for the other parent

Not allowing the child to speak freely about the other parent

Manipulating a child into believing that the other parent is all bad and does not deserve a relationship with the child

Brainwashing a child into fearing the other parent.

Manipulating a child's feelings or bribing them in order to interfere in the child's relationship with the other parent.

1.) For needing some love, acknowledgement and appreciation for them.

2.) For expecting them to show some regard for your feelings.

3.) For needing support when you are upset, struggling or ill.

4.) For daring to ask for respect or loyalty from them.

5.) For not doing 100% of the work in the relationship, without complaint.

6.) For objection to their gross selfishness

7.) For wanting them to play a role in parenting their own children.

8.) For wanting them to spend a little quality time with you.

9.) For being too sensitive and objecting to being the butt of their "jokes".

10.) For not condoning their kind of irresponsible or harmful "fun".

11.) For any financial expenditure you make, no matter how essential.

When you leave a narcissist or are in the process of leaving them, be prepared.

They go on a campaign to make you look guilty, and at fault. The narcissist will purposely do things, like making you beg for money, not following through on the things they agreed to do, along with doing things they know will evoke negative reactions out of you. They also do this to punish you.

They purposely frustrate you until you lose your temper. Some will do things like, record you to show everyone that YOU are the crazy one and out of control. They also will evoke reactions from you in front of others by insidiously doing things they know will bother you. They do this until you finally react in anger and then they point the finger saying, “you are the crazy one" or “you are out of control".

Quickly declares you are their soulmate! And for some reason, you don't find it creepy. They tell you how much you they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking, and they just can't believe how perfect you are for them.

You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you're in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don't seem to care when you leave their side- they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

Your feelings...

Story time. Sorry not sorry!

So, 3 years ago on 9-14-19 I married, what I thought to be, my soulmate. fast forward to December of 2019, we bought our first home together! yay! so much joy. 2 weeks after we got moved in, he dumped me on snapchat and packed up and left while I was at work. I cannot express the pain I felt coming home to all his belongings gone. I didn't get a reason, I didn't get an I'm sorry. I didn't even get a face to face. Just "its over", "I don't love you anymore.", "People and things change" and my favorite, "I thought being married would bring my love back and it didn't". LIKE WTF??

He had been staying at his "friends" house. Ya know, the one I was never suppose to worry about? The one, that on year 2 of our relationship, he met and hung out with, and just didn't come home. Freaked me out, and thus, starting my insecurity issues with that "friend". He'd be gone days at a time, and come home to basically shower. And then back at it. We fought constantly. They had a falling out, and things between us went back to normal.

Then they rekindled in the beginning of 2019. I was less worried and decided well, we are engaged right? So that means he must love me. And we would all hang out and what not. No biggie. Boy was I wrong.

He had been at her house constantly again towards the end of our marriage and relationship. Not coming home. I would beg for him to just come home. And when he did, it was the coldest thing I have ever felt. He wouldn't touch me, would not kiss me. Wouldn't even sleep next to me. He just packed up and moved into her home with her parents.

I have never screamed of felt so much pain from one person in my entire life. I have never felt more betrayed by a person. Its not your enemies that will burn you, it's the people you love. it's been 2 and a half years since. And I am still healing from that pain. I am still trying to mend the pieces of my heart, and put my soul back together the way it should be.

Our relationship was toxic. And I knew it, but the love I had for him, and the fight to make it work was stronger than what I knew was the truth. I loved an imaginary person. A person that never even existed. Just a faker persona of a person that was nothing but dark and destructive. A person that finds humor and joy in preying on vulnerable people. Turning their worlds upside down. And leaving them broken and weak. Just to turn around and do it to the next person.

The "friend" was there at the house while he was breaking up with his wife over social media. I bawled my eyes out to her. Begged her to help. Confided in her. Only to be betrayed by yet another person I thought was on my side.

I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Why I was no longer worth fighting for. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a peach to deal with either. But he knew this, and he knew the love I had for him ran deep. Deeper than anyone else's love could give him. And he drained me dry of it. He would cause fights and then turn the situation around and make it my fault that I reacted the way I did. He would ruin a perfectly good day, because his misery needed company. Fuck, if we went anywhere, you know he was not having a good time. He would sit a sulk and pout. And if he did enjoy himself, he was drunk.