#parental alienation

Stu @stuart268

In X (former Twitter) Stu @stuart 268 posted this image

I wrote as a response:  

Most parents (men and women, mothers and fathers) do not love their children. That is fact, science, rejected in a world which do not tolerate truth. Sad, but necessary.

Then, Jeanne @MyClickInTime wrote: It is not wise to speak without researching, and posted this image

My father was a malignant narcissist, a psychopath. He blamed me from the beginning (when I was a toddler) for everything that was wrong in his life, even if bad things happened to him years (decades) before I was born. While still a child, he blamed me for everything that was wrong in the world, for the entire history of humanity. He tortured me, psychologically.

I was born neurodivergent, I cannot see with my left eye. I have suffered from ADHD, never diagnosed. My mother did not look after me, I was a very bad student, although many people considered me intelligent; I was a “brilliant underachiever”. I needed a special education, a private tutor. All I got was violence and inattention.

Because of this, I developed a very bad mental pathology, a personality disorder, borderline (BPD).

My belief that most parents (women and men, mothers and fathers) do not love their children does not arise from my experience. I have read most of Erich Fromm’s books. In To Have Or To Be, Fromm quotes Lloyd de Mause.

Taken from Wikipedia:

Beginning in the 1970s, De Mause began conceiving of psychohistory, a field of study of the psychological motivations of historical events, and their associated patterns of behavior. It seeks to understand the emotional origin of the social and political behavior of groups and nations—past and present—by analyzing events in childhood and the family, especially child abuse.

In this paragraph of Erich Fromm’s book “To Have Or To Be”, Fromm quotes Lloyd de Mause:

Being 24 years old (a long time ago, I am 62 years old) I decided that I would marry, but would not have children. I realized that I did not want a family, and I would not allow myself to hurt children, ever.

A very big trouble is that most people cannot accept truth. Because of this, myths like the love of parents are accepted and most parents continue the chain of destructiveness.

I was the only son of four children. My tween sister, Monica, married a man from USA, who seems to be a malignant narcissist, just like our father. A younger sister (born on July 1968, just turned 58) married an immoral man and did not attend her eldest daughter, who is 31 and suffers from obesity. My youngest sister died 20 years ago, our father ruined her and after that attacked her, sexually; he tried to rape her.

I have overcome that very bad personality disorder, borderline [BPD]. Just now.

I realize that Jean has suffered. I am sorry about that. The aim of therapies is to heal, of course. In psychoanalysis, the analyst (therapist) and their client’s aim is to find truth. When that is achieved, healing has been achieved.

I believe I have achieved that. I wish Jean, Stuart, and everyone who has suffered to heal.

Reading was always an escape for me,

Hiding from secrets,

In books and trees.

Hiding from the truth,

Hidden from me,

Hidden from you,

But you can't see.

Now I see it all,

And you call it sick.

But what is in your head and your heart,

Was never a gift.

You see your Daughter,

A Monster,

You made her that way,

In the Handcuffs,

In the Lies,

When they took her away.

Lost in a book,

Lost in the basement,

Forgiveness is easy,

Guilt, Envy, Jealousy, Blame, Shame,

Hatred,

Nothing you do,

May ever save this.

You win,

I quit,

Trying to Reach,

For a love that wasn't there,

For a voice that didnt speak.

I have found,

The strength inside of ME,

The strength you took away,

Because you could never speak.

Speak your own truth,

Your lies,

Your pain,

I am done,

You win,

Parental alienation happens when one parent influences a child to turn against the other parent. But it can also become something more harmful; weaponizing your children.

This occurs when a child is used as a tool in adult conflict, whether through negative comments, blame, guilt, sharing inappropriate details, or blocking and limiting contact. Over time, the child may begin to internalize these messages and reject the other parent without clear reason.

Children should never feel pressured to choose sides. When they are placed in the middle, it can lead to anxiety, confusion, anger, and long-term emotional harm. A healthy relationship with both parents supports emotional stability and growth.

If you notice yourself speaking negatively about your child’s other parent, pause and reflect. Ask whether your words promote safety and love. Respectful co-parenting and professional support can help protect your child’s well-being and future.