shoot me in the face

Someone should create an economic system that incentivizes the production of useful goods and services instead of scams and swindles

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

a hoe never gets lyme disease

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

Do you think people in the past realized that their shit was old as fuck?

They probably looked at the wagon wheel and thought to themselves "yeah this is pretty bad"

*pacing around the room in a circle like a frightened zoo animal* is it okay to feel

That's scary... I don't know... :(.

hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer’s Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot….why the fuck are we horny for elves