Transfem Dykstrodanaire

BS like “Trans women should learn that they don’t need to shave body hair; that’s just patriarchal brainwashing!”

Like while yes, patriarchy makes misogynystic demands on cis women to shave leg, arm, and other body hair… Crucially, patriarchy makes no such shaving demands on trans women. In fact, trans women are routinely and VIOLENTLY PUNISHED by patriarchy for even daring to WANT to shave body hair.

The ONLY situation that shaving is at all beneficial for trans women, is when we are forced to effortlessly and perfectly contort ourselves into carbon copies of cis women in order to avoid unexemptable transmisogynystic violence in public.

Let me repeat. Trans women are forced to perfectly pass to not be MURDERED in broad daylight, especially Black trans women. Chastising trans women against the very actions that keep us alive makes you no different than the assholes who you are so desperate to enable to kill us.

ANYBODY “reminding” trans women about patriarchy’s demands about cis women’s bodies (as if that should inform how trans women are allowed to exist in public, move through the world, and survive patriarchy’s violent misogyny AND transmisogyny) has orders of magnitude more blood on their hands than whatever asinine point they were trying to make about trans women.

And I could not put it into words why that made me feel so deeply uncomfortable, but this is why. Oh my god..

I don't want to hear shit about the fact that I mixed animals from different periods for panel 1. Not one word.

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I use he/him pronouns.

I want to be flat.

I want bottom surgery.

I want to be just a hairy chubby dude who barbecues in the front lawn with the neighbors one day.

That doesn't negate the fact that I was a little girl who twirled around in dresses because my parent's told me I was a little girl and at that point I didn't care enough about it.

Doesnt change that I'm still my fathers chiquita

Im still my mommas little girl

I cant change their opinions of me, I still love them.

Using he/him pronouns doesnt stop people from honking at me and catcalling me when i go on walks regardless of what I'm wearing.

That doesnt change the fact that I look very very feminine for my age.

And I love my body some days.

Other days I hate it.

The more masculine I feel, the more likely I am to dress up in frills and skirts because if I'm confident in my body, no one can tell me otherwise.

The less confident I am in my masculinity, the more i just throw on another pair of jeans and the dysphoria hoodie.

It doesnt erase my entire childhood and ongoing teenhood.

I know transmascs who dread their childhood being raised as little girls. They want nothing to do with it.

But alas, my childhood *gasp* shaped who I am as a person! And that childhood I was percived as a girl, even if I did more boy things than the cis boys around me. I was just "an extra cool girl" in peoples eyes because I was pretty and also liked blowing stuff up.

If one trans woman doesn't want anything to do with thinking about her childhood, who am I to judge her?

The same with another trans woman who is okay with her childhood similarly to how I am. I'm not going to judge her either.

Because all trans people have different views of their lived expiriences, bodies, and those lived expiriences do not just magically disappear when you realize your trans (whatever age that may be) and when you come out as trans (again, whatever age that may be)

Hi, im a trans man, i use he him pronouns. I still get catcalled, i was still abused by someone who saw me as a girl when it happened, and I still expirience misogyny from people who either dont know or dont care that i really am a boy.

I saw an analogy that I was only being grazed by the bullet of misogyny because it was meant to shoot a woman.

I was still fucking shot all the same by the motherfucker because they see me as a woman.

That motherfucker celebrates because they attacked a woman.

And I'll still get the wrong name plastered on my tombstone.

But it wasnt misogyny that got me? Was it?

Because like 8 people know irl know i use he/him pronouns, and i use he/him on the internet where im a faceless entity with a shitty idea-vomit blog.

Yeah, i hold onto the fact that I was born a girl.

I hold onto that BECAUSE IT AFFECTED MY ENTIRE LIFE LEADING UP TO WHEN I REALIZED I WANTED A PENIS IN PRESCHOOL, PAST WHEN I CAME OUT THE FIRST TIME IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, AND STILL FUCKING AFFECTS ME EVEN AS I WORK TO COME OUT AGAIN.

(Like i said, every single trans person has vastly different expiriences with their body, their community, and their transition)

I respect your opinion and think its interesting, however im not using my childhood to weaponize it against transgender women, i just think its interesting how many people think that by acknowledging that being born (and raised) and percived for a period of life as a girl just goes away when one begins to transition.

Ive been seeing it a lot and it kinda just hurts because it feels like people are saying "yeah that stuff doesnt apply to you now at all because youre actually a man and have been a man the whole time"

Yeah, i was man to myself the whole time, but to other people? Other than at *most* 10 people, im still a girl, and that sucks.

Idk how to explain it, im not a girl. I know im not a girl and i wasnt ever a girl...

To other people, i am a girl in their eyes. And that wont change i dont think.

I do not take on the label of "transandrobro chud" nor is that what i take personally.

What i take personally is the disgust at a transmasc holding a connection to their gender assigned at birth (in my case female).

I take such personally because being told "hey, being attached to being born female is gross" is disheartening when being born and raised and treated as female (despite being a boy to myself and few others) has had immeasurable effects on my life and continues to effect my life and of course i have to accept the truth that being born female has had those effects and i cannot simply detach myself from those effects and therefore cannot simply detatch myself from being assigned female at birth.

The reason i continue to talk is because conversation over topics is kinda important to understanding the world. Im a human who lives in the world, i have opinions on it, other people also have opinions on the world. It is good to see the most opinions you can and share opinions and listen to others opinions (like we are doing here)

Now, id like to ask you why you particularly think that a transgender man being attached to the expiriences he has had with being socially, medically, and legally assigned female due to those expiriences as well as the assigning having effects on his life is a harmful practice.

This bullshit feeds directly into bullshit like "We know more about being victims of misogyny than trans women", "We're the trans experts on living as girls and women", "We're at greater risk of violence because society sees us as women", "We have less gendered privilege than trans women because if we detransition, we'll be targeted as women but trans women who detransition can just go back to living as men" (because "Trans women benefit from male privilege across the board before they come out, and often afterwards too"), "Trans women are naturally predisposed to be creeps and sexual predators because of their male upbringings", and other reality-ignoring nonsense.

(And on a personal note: As a trans man, I find that the more strongly a guy is wedded to his 'female experiences', the more likely he is to end up as a 'dual-purpose' transphobe who also insists on committing acts of transemasculation as often as possible and portraying the world as hopelessly and more or less universally hostile to trans men: "Even post-transition guys are regularly catcalled", "Basically no trans guys are actually ever treated as men", "The only reason a trans guy will say he benefits from male privilege is as a coping mechanism to deal with dysphoria", "Trans men who subscribe to transfeminist principles are being emotionally/financially/sexually exploited by trans women who'll discard them as soon as they're no longer useful", etc., etc., etc.)

They see trans men as confused little girls.

They see trans women as sexual predators.

These are not the same. We are not "all faggots in the eyes of the state."

I think the biggest problem with the current "gendered socialization" discourse, is transandrobros fail to recognize that our experiences are not reflective of each other.

I was no contact with her for over a decade because of her alcoholism, and when she wanted to open up communication again she went out of her way to send postage to where I was knowing there was a chance her ex (my piece of shit father) could get ahold of her information.

I used the opportunity of reconnecting with her to tell her I was transfem almost right off the bat, within one of the first conversations we had with each other in almost 15 years..

I was dealing with medical discrimination and it left me without legal HRT for months and I ended up plateauing in my transition (basically a whole fucking mess but thats not the point of this rb)

My mom is in menopause, and shes been taking HRT to alleviate the symptoms of it. When I was unable to get HRT through conventional means, she gave me her backstock of it..

We had had a whole host of issues in the beginning of my transition, and, she still can't call me her daughter and uses strictly they/them pronouns for me, but one of her friends was introducing me to her mom and said "this is *mother's name*'s daughter, Charli."

I wish our relationship in terms of my transition was perfect, but, I am trying to be patient because things are actually getting somewhere now..

happy pride! if you see someone who looks like he’s from the group of people most likely to sexually assault you and DIDNT ask for his birth certificate before taking precautions. you owe him 200 dollars

I do remember when women stopped crossing the street to avoid me.

And it was right around the same time that I started crossing the street to avoid men.

If you're wondering why I would cross the street to avoid a cis-passing man, ask yourselves who the most violent demographic of people are?

Transandrobros seem to think that they're the only people in the trans community that have experienced sexual assault or harassment.