yeah “i can teach you” is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. it’s also hot. right

Are you a badass enough of a motherfucker to give me a hug

i used to be a swords kinda guy but then i realized you can easily defeat even the most prestigious swordsman with just basic polearm training

We've been over this, swords are a sidearm

sooooooooo true 👍

average polearm cockiness smh

Wanna come over and sit in my bed while I stare at you with a hunger so deep you can feel it???

beautiful caffeine on an empty stomach I'm going to live forever

brave and loyal knight want a treat

brave and loyal knight want a fucking break from it all

Brave and loyal knight appears to have had a rough fortnight.

brave and loyal knight got signed off sick with stress and then got better job at another castle

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex