Transgender Suggestion

there is nothing wrong with trans people who love their body

there is nothing wrong with trans people who love being trans

there is nothing wrong with trans people who take pride in being trans

there is nothing wrong with some trans people not wanting to look cis

there’s nothing wrong with trans people who cant/wont get surgery or hormones

there is nothing wrong with trans people who dont conform to a cisnormative world

there is nothing wrong with questioning even after you had identified as something else

Today we remember the trans people who have died in the past year. This list contains names from 2019 because they were killed after Trans Day of Remembrance in 2019.

Around the world there have been at least 457 deaths of trans and gender-nonconforming folx. In the US and Puerto Rico, there have been at least 64, 43 of which were homicide; the highest death rate yet in the US.

The following are their names:

Corbin Ray Bach, 23. November 24, 1996 - October 6, 2019. Died in Paducah, KY via suicide as a result of relentless bullying and harassment over being transgender. The media deadnamed him.

Christine Zephier, 23. Body found on October 10, 2019 near Mankato, MN. Cause of death unknown, foul play suspected. The media deadnamed her.

Daphne Dorman, 44. Died October 11, 2019 in San Francisco, CA via suicide.

Brianna “BB” Hill, 30. Died October 14, 2019 in Kansas City, MO via gunshot wound. She was a Black trans woman. Her killer was taken into custody.

Nikki Kuhnhausen, 17. Body found December 9, 2019 Larch Mountain, OR, last seen alive June 6th, 2019. She was strangled to death. A man was taken into custody and charged with second degree murder.

Angel Rose Garcia, 21. Died December 10, 2019 Hyattsville, MD via fentanyl, heroin, and cocaine overdose. She was a Latina trans woman.

Alice Carter, 35. Died December 18, 2019 in Washington D.C. She had been homeless for 15 years after coming out as trans. Cause of death unknown.

Yahira Nesby, 33. Died December 19, 2019 in Brooklyn, NY via a shot to the leg and a shot to the heart. She was a Black trans woman.

Mia Penny, 26. Died December 29, 2019 in Washington D.C. She was a Black trans woman shot by members of a security company after reports of trespassing. She bled out on her way to the hospital. She was misgendered by the media.

Dustin Parker, 25. Died January 1, 2020 McAlester, OK via multiple gunshot wounds. He was offering free taxi rides on New Years at a company he co-founded.

Emerald Kelliher, 31. September 25, 1988 - January 3, 2020. Died in Montgomery, AL. She killed herself at the gravestone of her dog, Zorro. Her family and the media misgendered and deadnamed her.

Alex McCray, 22. Died January 4, 2020 in St. Louis, MO via suicide. He had previously taken his high school to court over gender-appropriate locker rooms and bathrooms and won. It is unknown why he killed himself.

Camila María Concepción, 28. December 20, 1991 - February 21, 2020. She died in Los Angeles, CA via suicide. She was a trans Latina write for Netflix shows ‘Daybreak’ and ‘Gentefied’

Neulissa “Alexa” Luciano Ruiz. Died February 24, 2020 in Toa Baja, Puerto Rico. Harassed then murdered for using the women’s restroom. Her death was caught on camera. She was a trans Latina woman. She was misgendered by the media.

Yampi Méndez Arocho, 19. Died March 5, 2020 in Moca, Puerto Rico via two shots to the head and two to the back. He had previously been harassed earlier in the day. He was deadnamed and misgendered by the media.

John Scott Devore/Scottlyn Kelly Devore, 51. Last seen alive on March 12, 2020, body found March 30, 2020 in Augusta, GA. John/Scottlyn was genderfluid and thus I am unaware which pronouns John/Scottlyn would prefer. Last time John/Scottlyn was seen alive, they wore a dress and a wig and appeared to present as Scottlyn. They were murdered and Ronald Harris was charged March 20th.

Monika Diamond, 34. Died March 18, 2020 in Charlotte, NC via multiple guns shot wounds. She was shot while receiving unreleased medical attention in an ambulance. She was a Black trans woman. Prentice Bess has been charged with her murder.

Oliver Sasser, 21. March 30, 1991 - March 23, 2020. They died of unknown causes in Louisville, GA. Their family deadnamed and misgendered them in an attempt to erase their identity.

Lexi “Ebony” Sutton, 33. Died March 28, 2020 in Harlem, NY via a cut to the throat. She was a Black trans woman.

Lorena Borjas, 59. Died March 30, 2020 in Queens, NY of Covid-19. She was a trans Latina woman.

Ashley Moore, 26. Died April 1, 2020 in Newark, NJ via unexplained and serious injuries. She was cremated without an autopsy and her mother wasn’t notified of her death. Her death wasn’t investigated until 4 months later. She was a Black trans woman.

Henrietta Robinson, 79. Died April 3, 2020 in Miami, FL via Covid-19.

Johanna Metzger, 25. Died April 11, 2020 in Baltimore, MD via stab wounds. The circumstances surrounding her murder are unknown.

Emily Nicole Brown, 25. May 26, 1994 - April 20, 2020. She died in Covington, GA via suicide after 1.5 long years of being rejected by half of her family. She struggled with depression and loneliness.

Penelope Díaz Ramírez, 31. Died April 13, 2020 in Bayamón, Puerto Rico via strangulation and hanging. She was killed by fellow inmate José Villafañe Cotto who has confessed. She was a trans Latina women. She was deadnamed by the media.

Serena Angelique Velázquez Ramos, 32 and Layla Pelaez Sánchez, 21. Bodies found April 22, 2020 in Humacao, Puerto Rico in a burned out car. Their bodies were charred. They were both trans Latina women.

Nina Pop, 28. Died May 3, 2020 in Sikeston, MO via stabbing. She was murdered in her home. A man has since been charged with second degree murder but pleaded not guilty; he awaits trial. She was a Black trans woman.

Helle Jae O’Regan, 20. Died May 6, 2020 in San Antonio, TX via stabbing. She was choked unconscious then stabbed to death at her work place by a man pretending to be a customer. Damion Terrell Campbell has been charged with her murder.

Jayne Thompson, 33. Died May 9, 2020 Orchard Mesa, CO via shooting by a police officer during a mental health crisis. The officer was not charged. She was misgendered and deadnamed by the media.

Tony McDade, 38. Died May 27, 2020 in Tallahassee, FL via shooting by a police officer. The white officer claims McDade pulled a knife and gun on him, but eyewitness accounts contradict this. He was a Black trans man. He was misgendered by the media.

Selena Rayes-Hernandez, 37. Died May 31, 2020 in Chicago, IL via 2 gunshots. She was shot by a man after disclosing she was transgender. Her murderer, Orlando Perez, returned after she was dead to shoot her again. She was a trans Latina woman.

Unknown, aged 16-20. Their decomposed body was found June 6, 2020 in Chicago, IL. They were Black and trans. Gender presentation suggests they were a trans woman.

Riah Milton, 25. Died June 9, 2020 Liberty Township, Cincinnati, OH via multiple gunshot wounds due to a premeditated robbery. She was a Black trans woman. She was misgendered and deadnamed by nearly all media sources.

Dominique “Rem’mie” Fells, 27. July 30 1992 - June 9, 2020. She was found on the banks of the Schuylkill River in Philadelphia, PA with multiple stab wounds, trauma to the head and face, and both of her legs severed. She was a Black trans woman.

Brian Powers “Egypt.” Died June 13, 2020 in Akron, OH via gunshot wounds. There are no leads. He was a Black trans man.

Brayla Stone, 17. Died June 25, 2020 in Sherwood, AR via gunshot wounds. Her alleged killer bragged about how he was paid $5000 to kill her but later claimed he was doing it for attention. She was a Black trans women. She was misgendered and deadnamed by the media.

Tatiana Hall, 22. Died June 30, 2020 in Philadelphia, PA via murder. Little is known about her murder, likely due to being misgendered and deadnamed by the media. She was a Black trans woman.

Merci Mack, 22. April 9, 1998 - June 30, 2020. She was shot to death in Oak Cliff, Dallas, TX. She was a Black trans woman. She was deadnamed by the media.

Draya McCarty, 28. Died June 30, 2020 in Baton Rouge, LA via unknown circumstances. She was a Black trans woman.

Shaki Peters, 32. Died July 1, 2020 in Amite City, LA via gunshot wounds. She was a Black trans woman. She was misgendered and deadnamed by the media and the coroner’s report.

Bree Black, 27. Died July 3, 2020 in Pompano Beach, FL via gunshot wounds. She was a Black trans woman. She was misgendered and deadnamed by the media as her family’s request.

Summer Taylor, 24. Died July 4, 2020 in Seattle, WA via a car running them over. They were ran over by Dawit Kelete as he attempted to drive full speed into a peaceful Black Lives Matter protest. They were misgendered by the media.

Angela Martinez Gómez, 42. Died July 6, 2020 in Santa Monica, CA via Covid-19. She was not allowed to take time off at her work for her illness and her managers blamed “hormone injections” for said illness. She was a trans Latina woman.

Marilyn Monroe Cezares, 22. Died July 13 in Brawley, CA via multiple stab wounds. Her body was also badly burned. She was misgendered and deadnamed by the media and the majority of her family.

Tiffany Harris “Dior H Ova,” 32. Died July 26, 2020 in the Bronx, NY via stab wounds. She died in the hospital. She was a Black trans woman. She was deadnamed and misgendered by the media.

Queasha Hardy, 24. Died July 27, 2020 in Baton Rouge, LA via gunshot wounds. She was a Black trans woman. She was deadnamed by the media.

Aja Raquell Rhone-Spears “Rocky Rhone,” 32. Died July 28, 2020 in Portland, OR via stabbing. She was a Black trans woman.

Janelle Ariana Briscoe, 23. May 4, 1997 - August 7, 2020. She died in Smiths, AL via suicide.

Kee Sam, 24. Died August 13, 2020 in Lafayette, LA via gunshot. She died in hospital. She was a Black trans woman. She was deadnamed and misgendered.

Shelley Lynn Rose, 16. October 28, 2003 - August 26, 2020. She died via suicide. Her parents were abusive and transphobic and she was in the process for a diagnosis of PTSD and BPD. Her parents are buried her with her deadname on her tombstone.

Rukia Iris Bemer, 22. June 26, 1998 - August 30, 2020. She died in Lakewood, OH via getting hit by a train. Police do not know if it was suicide, an accident, or foul play, though a video shows her walking head up with headphones before the train hits her so many assume it was suicide.

Lea Rayshon Daye, 28. Died August 30, 2020 in Cleveland, OH. She died in a male prison after being placed by a transphobic judge. Her death is being investigated, but the prison had terrible conditions. She was a Black trans woman.

Elie Che, 23. Died August 31, 2020 in the Bronx, NY via drowning. Her death is under investigation. She was a Black trans woman. She was dead named by the media repeatedly.

Isabella Mia Lofton, 21. Died September 7, 2020 in Brooklyn, NY. Her body was found partly unclothed and wrapped in a tarp on the sidewalk. Authorities believe she was intoxicated and fell from a building. Her sister believes it was murder. There is no current investigation. She was a Black trans woman.

Gia Valentina Romualdo Rogríguez, 46. Died September 15, 2020 in Miami, FL via medical complications.

Aerrion Burnett, 37. September 21, 1982 - September 19, 2020. Died via gunshot wounds in Independence, MO. She was a Black trans woman.

Mia Green, 29. Died September 28, 2020 in Philadelphia, PA via gunshot wound to the neck. She died in hospital. She was a Black trans woman.

Michellyn Ramos Vargas, 35. Died September 30, 2020 in San Germán, Puerto Rico via multiple gunshot wounds. She was a trans Latina woman.

Felycya Harris, 33. Died October 3, 2020 in Augusta, GA via gunshot wounds. She was a Black trans woman. She was deadnamed and misgendered in the original police report.

Brooklyn Deshuna Smith, 20. Died October 7, 2020 in Shreveport, LA via gunshot wounds. Her case was ruled a homicide and is under investigation. She was a Black trans woman.

Sara Blackwood, 39. Died October 11, 2020 in Indianapolis, IN via gunshot wounds. Her death was ruled a homicide but there are no current suspects. She was killed on National Coming Out Day.

Angel Unique, 26. Died October 25, 2020 in Memphis, TN via a shot to the head. She was a Black trans woman.

During one visit, Ruth noticed the nurses would draw straws, afraid to go into one room, its door sealed by a big red bag. She asked why and the nurses told her the patient had AIDS.

On a repeat visit, and seeing the big red bag on the door, Ruth decided to disregard the warnings and sneaked into the room.

In the bed was a skeletal young man, who told Ruth he wanted to see his mother before he died. She left the room and told the nurses, who said, "Honey, his mother’s not coming. He’s been here six weeks. Nobody’s coming!”

Ruth called his mother anyway, who refused to come visit her son, who she described as a "sinner" and already dead to her, and that she wouldn't even claim his body when he died.

“I went back in his room and when I walked in, he said, "Oh, momma. I knew you’d come", and then he lifted his hand. And what was I going to do? So I took his hand. I said, "I’m here, honey. I’m here”, Ruth later recounted.

Ruth pulled a chair to his bedside, talked to him

and held his hand until he died 13 hours later.

After finally finding a funeral home that would his body, and paying for the cremation out of her own savings, Ruth buried his ashes on her family's large plot.

After this first encounter, Ruth cared for other patients. She would take them to appointments, obtain medications, apply for assistance, and even kept supplies of AIDS medications on hand, as some pharmacies would not carry them.

Ruth’s work soon became well known in the city and she received financial assistance from gay bars, "They would twirl up a drag show on Saturday night and here'd come the money. That's how we'd buy medicine, that's how we'd pay rent. If it hadn't been for the drag queens, I don't know what we would have done", Ruth said.

Over the next 30 years, Ruth cared for over 1,000 people and buried more than 40 on her family's plot most of whom were gay men whose families would not claim their ashes.

The truth is, crying is one of the healthiest coping mechanisms humans have for stress. It’s been scientifically proven that the chemical composition of emotional tears (compared to basal and irritant tears) purges stress hormones from the body and produces a relaxing effect at a biological level. It’s also nonviolent (more than can be said for the more socially acceptable anger response). Humans evolved to cry for a reason. 

If one isn’t allowed to cry (if they would be shamed/abused for it), the stress hormones will build up and cause illness later on. They will have to force themselves to cry because their first instinct will be to repress the tears. They wouldn’t be able to cry in front of people anymore, either. 

Riots in protest of police brutality are the reason that we have more rights today. Do not forget your roots.

Hospital stay:

- Toiletries (deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, flannel, shower gel, shampoo etc). I found a roll on deodorant was better/easier to apply.- Loose joggers/shorts to travel home in, best to buy a size or two up. - Loose t-shirt, or button up shirt. If you’re having forearm your arm will be well padded so may not be as easy to get a t-shirt on. - Socks, possibly boxers (supportive in a couple of sizes up). I wore the net hospital pants they provided and asked for extra to take home as they were supportive, comfortable and didn’t matter if they were soiled. - I spent the majority of my hospital stay in the gown provided or naked, and only wore clothes on the day of discharge. But if you pack a coupe of shirts and shorts then you have the option to be dressed if you wish to be :) - Phone charger, if possible buy a longer charging cable as the sockets can be quite far from the bed. I got a 3 meter cable from amazon for about £5. - A pen and notebook - you might want to write things down that the hospital stage tell you, or if you think of any questions you want to ask them whilst you’re there. Pen’s are also handy as you fill out breakfast/lunch/dinner menus!- Any and all relevant paperwork, admission letter, GP details and local/district nurse details. - Any medications you are currently taking, and the prescription for them.- You might want to take some form of entertainment, like a book or puzzle book, or small tablet. But avoid laptop, anything heavy or anything you need 2 hands to operate. Honestly though you probably won’t want or need anything like that. The first 3-4 days you’re highly drugged up and still feeling the effects of the anaesthesia. If you’re having surgery in the UK every room has a TV so you can watch that to your hearts content haha! - Squash to add to water, as drinking plain water for a week can get a bit boring on the taste buds. I also took a refillable drinks bottle that was easy to drink from. - A pack of biscuits, or something to snack on. Sometimes you go long periods without food, or don’t have an appetite, but may want something to boost blood sugars or stop you feeling nauseas etc. I always took mints with me, as you can have quite a dry mouth after surgery for a few days. - Wet wipes, sometimes you want to freshen yourself up, or just wipe your face over if you get hot etc.Recovery:

- Pillows to travel home with. If you’re travelling by car, ask whoever picks you up to bring 2-3 pillows with them. Sit in the front passenger seat and recline it as much as possible, sit on a pillow of two, and have another on your lap to protect your groin and rest your arm on. Wearing a seatbelt can be quite uncomfortable, so I tucked the pillow under the lower half of the seatbelt.- Some people buy a V pillow for home, but I just arranged the pillows I had to make them comfortable and prop me up when needed. It will get uncomfortable sleeping on your back for so long, and my best advice is to put a pillow under your knees to relieve some pressure from your back. - If you’re having forearm, something to help keep your arm elevated. You can get quite creative with this one haha. Microphone stands, hospital drip stands etc. My bed was next to a wall so I used a wall mounted guitar hook. Some people just use pillows, depending on personal preference!- Make sure you have adequate medical supplies from the hospital - more than you may need. (Dressings, mepital, net pants, anti DVT stockings). - Help. You will need someone around to help you out, especially with things like showering. It can be quite awkward but if you have someone you feel comfortable enough around, please ask them to help you! You may also find that after being in hospital and losing all dignity you won’t care as much as you think you will about a partner/close friend/family member seeing you naked. Also someone to help make meals or reach things you can’t. If this isn’t possible, try to prepare your home as much as you can pre op. Make sure things are in reach, prep meals or buy ready meals that are easy to cook. I bought a grabby stick (https://smile.amazon.co.uk/NRS-Healthcare-L61554-Combi-Reacher-Reaching/dp/B0076VM39W/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1525335963&sr=8-1&keywords=grabber+stick) Very helpful for picking things up you drop, putting on socks and reaching things.- Entertainment. You will get bored, so find a good TV series, or films you want to watch, subscribe to Netflix etc. Have a good support network, friends you can talk to or will come to see you. - Salt for salt baths when you’re healed enough. Everyday table salt is fine, but don’t use bath salts or anything like that. 

“100 Reasons (Why I’m Not Out To My Family)” pt. 2

(in which members of the lgbtq community speak out about why they’re not open about their sexuality with their families.)

poster series

hold on. i know its tough right now. but please keep going. keep fighting. you’re stronger than you know, and one day, everything you’re going through right now will be behind you. and every day brings you a little closer to that.

tomorrow, you will be one day closer to coming out.

one day closer to cutting your hair.

one day closer to buying ur first boy’s t-shirt.

one day closer to getting ur first binder.

one day closer to starting t.

one day closer to your legal name and gender marker change.

one day closer to top surgery.

one day closer to happiness.

and guess what?

next week, you’ll be a whole week closer to all that.

next month? you guessed it! a whole month closer.

next year? dude, you’ll be a whole year closer to everything you want!

you’ve already come so far and i know it’s been hard. i know you feel like giving up. i know some days your dysphoria is so bad and it seems like you can’t wait one day longer.

i promise, you can. every day brings you one day closer. those days will turn into weeks, those weeks into months, those months into years, until finally, you’re there.

you’re telling people you love who you are. they might accept you or they might not. if they do, that’s amazing and im so happy for you. if they don’t, don’t worry. either they’ll come around or you’ll find your own family. people who love you for who you are and wouldn’t change a thing.

you’re running your hands through your newly short hair. it feels good to look at yourself in the barbershop mirror and see that all that hair is gone.

you’re trying on your new clothes in the mirror. you feel more comfortable than you ever have.

you’re ripping open the package and taking out your new binder. you pull it on. it’s snug, but mostly comfortable. your chest is finally flat. you never wanna take it off.

you’re getting your first injection. you’ve never liked shots, but the pros far outweigh the cons for this particular one. an hour later, you’re looking in the mirror to see if anything’s changed yet. it hasn’t, but it will.

you’re filing the paperwork that has your real name on it. you’re at the dmv to change your gender marker. your driver’s license now reflects who you truly are.

youre waking up from surgery. you look down. there’s your chest. it’s as flat as it should’ve always been. recovery will be hard, but it will be worth it. your body is finally yours. your body finally matches your brain. you look back at yourself all those years ago and think, ‘here we are, buddy. we made it.’