It wimdy
Cosimo Galluzzi

titsay

oozey mess
Misplaced Lens Cap
YOU ARE THE REASON

JBB: An Artblog!

i don't do bad sauce passes

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I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
hello vonnie
Sweet Seals For You, Always

â

pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies

#extradirty
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@toxicoctopus
It wimdy

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I drew some creatures for an exhibition at beloved local queer bar the Bearded Tit, loosely based on my fellow bar-goers.
Concept sketches for The Jungle Book by Ken Anderson
little quick thing. i know how to wield a pen and paper sometimes
Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.
Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.
Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: Iâm trying to tell you that Iâm evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!
Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit
this is one of my favorite posts

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(Oops I accidentally shared this a day early on Tumblr, sorry!! Will be posted across other platforms tomorrow)
whatever our souls are made of, you and me are going to end up stuck in the same ice hole
English added by me :)
reassurance but the opposite actually

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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wholesome gain-bros are the best gain-bros
Problem solving
English added by me :)
movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the detailsâŚ.
girl if that were me, weâd be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.
if it were me having to repeat my dead fatherâs instructions on destroying the death star:
I was in a college psych class, and the teacher was doing some kind of exercise about memory, patterns, and retention. He began with, âfor instance, if I asked you what number the first letter of your name is in the alphabet, you wouldnât be able to tell me right awââ âTen,â I said. âWhat?â âJ. J is ten,â I said again. He stared at me. âI happened to learn it while looking at the alphabet when I was five or six, and it just stayed in my brain,â I told him. Then we did an exercise on retention. âIâm going to tell you a story,â he said, âand then Iâm going to send you out of the room for five minutes, and when you come back, you have to repeat as much of the story back to me as possible.â He told me a long and meandering story with no plot or structure, just a random series of events, place names, actions, etc. Then he sent me out of the room. I looked at the wall for a while. He called me back in five minutes later, stood me up in front of the class, and asked me to repeat âjust as much of the story as you remember.â Apparently while Iâd been gone heâd been telling the class about how eyewitness accounts arenât reliable because people donât remember things well after a certain period of time. So I told his story back to himâ not verbatim, but certain phrases were exactâ and watched the consternation in his face as I accidentally blew up his (valid! and extensively studied!) lesson about how bad peopleâs retention is. âItâs like a song,â I tried to explain to him, and the class. âOr a poem. Every part of the story has a little tag to remember it. I looked at the chalkboard while you were saying this part. My leg itched while you were saying that part. A chair squeaked during the next part. Then I just have to come back and go over all the sensations that I had while you wereâ âSit down,â he said. I sat. Turns out Iâm Autisms Georg adn should not have been counted
ADHD version: A friend asked, on a field trip, why I knew the scientific name for Caltha palustris, âWell, we did that [one week long] field ID course [three years previously] and we saw it in one of the bogsâ.
This, I was informed, is very much not a normal reason to remember the scientific name of a plant for the rest of your life.
It took me five whole years to learn when my partnerâs birthday is.
âX bodily fluid is just filtered blood!â buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).
âOkay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicatedâ well buddy, thatâs because your blood is imitation seawater. See? Itâs very simple.
Blood is what now?
Itâs imitation seawater what part is confusing
#are you telling me#humans are just sentient aquariums?Â
Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.
Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.
Thank you thatâsâŚvery disturbing
Itâs not my fault youâre human.
Ok but âItâs not my fault youâre human.â Is the best comeback ever.
You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.
#/blood is imitation seawater/ is the part thatâs confusingÂ
Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. âWow,â you think, metaphorically, âit sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs I can have. Good thing I have all this water around me thatâs the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so I donât explode or shrivel up) so I can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.â
âWait a minute,â you say a couple of generations later, because youâre not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, âinstead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about I put it in tubes? I can keep MY water separate from the rest of the worldâs water! Anything I want to keep goes in my water! Anything I donât, I dump back into the outside water! Iâm a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process thatâs a GENIUS!â
âWow,â you think a great many generations later, âbeing able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is so great. Look how big Iâm getting. I even have a special pump to move my seawater around, and these cool filter systems to keep the chemicals in it right, and that control and chemical concentration has let me grow so many energy-intensive, highly specialised organs! Being big is so hard. I need special cells just to carry my oxygen around now, to make sure my enormous, constantly-operating body has enough of it.â
At this point you are embodying a fish, and eventually, fish start straying into water with different pressures and salinity levels. (I mean, they do that since befor ehtyâer fish, but⌠look, Iâm trying to keep things simple here.) âWhat the FUCK,â you think. âMy inside water is at a different salinity and pressure to the outside water?? How am I supposed to deal with that? I canât have freshwater inside my seawater tubes! My cells have a set salinity and they would explode! I need to start beefing up my regulatory and filter systems so that my inside seawater STAYS SEAWATER OF THE CORRECT SALINITY even if the outside water is different! Fortunately, adding salt to my seawater is a lot easier than removing it, and I want to be saltier than this weird outside water.â At this point you beef up your liver and urinary systems to compensate for different salinities. (Note: the majority of fish, freshwater and saltwater, have a fairly narrow band of salinities they can live in. Every fish doesnât get to deal with every level of salinity; they are evolved to regulate within specific bands.)
You also, at some point, go out on land. This is new and weird because you have to carry all of your water inside. âItâs a good thing I turned myself into a giant bag of seawater,â you think. âIf I wasnât carrying my seawater inside, how would I transport all these important chemicals between my organs and the environment?â As you specialise to live entirely outside of the water, you realise (once again) that itâs a lot easier to add salt to water than to remove it in great quantities. Drinking seawater in large amounts becomes toxic; your body isnât specialised for removing that amount of salt. Instead, you drink freshwater, and add salts to that. The majority of your organs are, at this point, specialised for moving your seawater around, protecting it, adding stuff to it, or taking stuff out. You have turned yourself into an intelligent bag for carrying and regulating a small amount of imitation seawater, and its salinity (and your commitment to maintaining that salinity) is based entirely on the seawater that some early animals started to build tubes around a long time ago.
And thatâs what a human is!
Well, thereâs another few steps, of course.
Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal.
A mammal is a machine for adapting to Circumstances. A mammal is a tremendously resilient all-terrain life-support system, with built-in heating, cooling, respiration, and incubators for reproduction. Mammals internalise everything (grudges, eggs) and furthermore are excessively, flamboyantly wet internally. Sure, everyoneâs a bag of chemicals; but mammals slosh. Mammals took the concept of an internal ocean and took it in an unnecessarily splashy direction, added aftermarket mods and a climate-control system,
and just to show off, you leaned across the metaphorical gambling table and said: âmy internal ocean is so good-â
âBullshit,â said the shark, keeping it salty (ha)
âMy internal ocean is so brilliantly resilient, more so than any of YOURS,â you said, holding their attention with a digit held aloft, âthat for my next trick, I shall artistically recreate the ballad of evolution as a performance. I shall craft a complex chemical ballet depicting the origin of multicellular life - using some of my own material, of course-â
âOh, ANYONE can lay an egg,â yodel the fish, and the ray adds: âontogeny does NOT recapitulate phylogeny!!â
And youâre like, âyeah no, itâs an artistic rendition, not a literal thing. Basically Iâm going to take some cells and brew them up-â
âLike an egg.â
âLike an egg. An egg but internally.â
âYeah,â said the viviparous reptile, âyeah, like, that can work really well. Iâve always said itâs the highest test of oneâs chemical know-how. Itâs a lot of work. And forget about support from your family - forget about support from your PHYLUM - all you get is criticism.â
âIâm gonna do it on purpose forever,â you said. âThe highest chemical, thermoregulatory, immunological, everything-logical challenge. Itâs gonna be my thing.â
âIâm with you,â said a viviparous fish, stoutly. âRepresentation.â
You kindly donât point out, once again, that youâre planning to do this outside the ocean, in a range of temperatures; carrying the dividing cells in a perfect 37.5⢠solution of saline broth in all terrains, breathing oxygen in a complicated matter, you know, bit more difficult; but you need your allies.
âItâs solid,â says the coelacanth.
âBut is it metal?â says the deep-vent organism.
âOh, itâs metal. I will feed the young,â you say, magnificently, âon an echo of the mother ocean. The first rich feast of cellular matter, the first hunt for sustenance, the first bite they sip of our liquid planet-â
Everyone waits.
âWill be a blood byproduct. My own blood byproduct.â
Everyone looks uncomfortable.
âBut,â a hagfish says carefully, âdonât you outdoorsy guys still need your blood?â
You cough and explain that if you stay wet enough internally and hydrate frequently, you should be able to produce enough blood byproduct to sustain your hellish new invention until they can eat your peers.
The outrage that follows includes questions like âis this some furry shit?â And: âmilk has WATER in it?â
And you won the bet. âMy inner ocean is such a perfect homage to the primordial soup that I can personally cook up an entire live hairy mammal in it. And then generate excess blood byproduct from my body and give it to the small mammal until it gets big.â
That is an absolutely bonkers pitch, by the way, and everyone thought you were a showoff, even before the opposable thumbs. When the winter came, and the winter of winters, and the rain was acid and the air was poison on the tender shells of their eggs and choked the children in the shells; when the plants turned to poison, and the ocean turned against you all; when the climate changed, and the worldâs children fell to shadow; your internal ocean was it that held true. A bet laid against the changing fates, a bet laid by a small beast against climate and geography and the forces of outer space, that you won. The dinosaurs fell and the pterosaurs fell and the marine reptiles dwindled, and you, furthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceship, held hope internally at 37.5 degrees. Which is another thing that humans do, sometimes.
It has been MONTHS, @elodieunderglass, and I am still mumbling âfurthest-child, least-looked-for, long-range-spaceshipâ under my breath as a comfort phrase, and the FUCKING INDIGNITY that it came from this godforsaken post about THE HORRIBLE WETNESS OF MAMMALS!
âThe horrible wetness of mammalsâ would make a great band name.
âhold hope, internally, at 37.5 degreesâ and âMammals internalize everything (eggs, grudges)â Now live permanently in my vocabulary

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Singing a new year's song with çąĺŚ/Ai Fei ("Beloved concubine", a term of address Chinese emperors used for their favorite concubines/consorts)
English added by me :)
hubris of mankind