Couldn’t Tell Ya

the BPD Experience ™ really is like..... i hate you! until you show me the slightest bit of affection again and now i love you

YES i am desperate for friends. YES as soon as i think they don’t like me as much as i like them i ghost them out of fear. WE EXIST

remember that they owed you unconditional love and you did nothing to betray that, you were a child. you will always have deserved better.

being a csa survivor is like *isolates self* *doesn’t trust strangers* *has nightmares* *has intrusive thoughts* *worries about becoming abuser* *doesn’t trust strangers* *worries older friends are going to take advantage of you* *writes poetry to cope* *doesn’t talk to parents about trauma* *is angry* *has nightmares* *has meltdowns over small things* *is angry* *has intrusive thoughts* *Isolates self* *reads to cope* *cries too much or not at all* *is angry*

*stares at selfies until they turn ugly* I knew it

having a fp is really just *falls in love* *splits* *fears abandonment* *splits again* *frantically apologises* *is fine for a day* *spli

someone fuck me so i feel less empty

*feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like, too much* mmm not a fan of that either