whatever is meant to be for you will never leave you, cherish yourself.

no matter how much my heart breaks or how much I fall, I will never fight for someone to love me. If you can’t match my energy then you can’t have it. I’m not here to change you, I’m not here to make you the one. If the love is mutual there is no fight or chase. If you’re trying to chase and change someone I promise it’s not true love.

let them know your truth, and if they decide not to confront their wrongdoings then that’s on them. Let out your half for your healing to begin, confront the fact that you don’t need their approval to heal. Healing is a process, it doesn’t happen because you say it or make a new playlist. It happens when you decide to confront and let go, it happens when you decide on putting yourself first.

remember that they owed you unconditional love and you did nothing to betray that, you were a child. you will always have deserved better.

It’s important to talk about the highs and lows of healing. A month after moving away and not communicating with my parents I felt this weight lifted off of me, I felt happy and myself for once in my life. I didn’t think about my trauma, I didn’t remember it, and it felt good to not be reminded of the pain for a moment. Two months later I’m crying again every night, there’s no new words of hatred, no new neglect, the past isn’t replaying in my mind, but the pain is still there. I don’t understand why I cry, and maybe that’s because I wasn’t allowed to feel. As children our emotions were pushed aside, so even in those time frames where you think you’ve moved on, it’s truly just learned repression. Therapy is important, getting help is important. Pretending the trauma never happened is not healing, it’s neglecting your own feelings. Take care of yourself, allow yourself to heal. Allow yourself the time to heal. It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s okay to cry sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re not trying.