flapjack 🥞🪻

wails desperately and then goes back to doing fucjing whatever

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

protip: adding peas to your rice adds peas to the rice, providing a significant boost to the number of peas in the rice

the grinch is fucked up right. he was created specifically as a critique of the commercialization of christmas, but now all his edge has been sanded off. now he's a generic mascot for "hates christmas," which is great to have because the commercialization of christmas has become so overbearing that that's a demographic you can market to! and now he's just part of the Christmas Fold. he's santa's edgier joker counterpart. he has become the very thing he sought to destroy. back in november i checked out a customer with a $1100 order and most of it was grinch merchandise

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

love wins

MEN!!! do NOT diet and work out. you may get VISIBLE ABS which is UPSETTING to weird fags online...

Genuinely hope "JD Vance killed the pope" becomes a legit, widespread rumor. I hope the whitehouse has to make a statement, thus only adding fuel to the fire about it.

Instagram sucks so bad everyone I know has this particular psychosis where they're like "why did he open the reel I sent him but didn't respond", "we've been friends for so long she didn't like my story even though it's my birthday", "they liked my event post but didnt share it to their story", "what does it mean if a guy i slept with 3 times a year ago liked my story" liiiiikkkkee who gives a single fuck people only look at that shit while theyre on the toilet or in line or driving

Shout out to the USA for pissing Canadians off so bad it flipped an entire election that was supposed to be a landslide for the center-right, forever in your debt o7

Shout out to the USA for pissing Australians off so bad it flipped an entire election that was supposed to be a landslide for the center-right, forever in your debt o7

every official US state post online is always like "🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸WE MUST STRENGTHEN OUR NATION BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!!!!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸" and every official post from China state media is like "we just built 10 new railways yay! :) also we love haveing a good times with our friends 🌍"