Toraffles

You borrowed a faith to get through another day, and lost yourself in someone else’s hope

—

Doesn’t get it and has to have it explicitly explained to them: Ryohei, Yamamoto, Gokudera (to a point) 

Laughs: Mukuro, Hibari, Lambo 

Stares blankly and sighs. Walks away: Chrome, Tsuna

special arcobaleno version 

Probably told the pun: Reborn, Luce, Colonello

Laughs to make pun-teller feel better: Yuni, Skull 

Doesn’t get it and explains why they didn’t get it and why the sentence/question doesn’t make sense: Verde, Fon

MAKE ME CHOOSE:

au where everything’s the same except mukuro wears these pants

IN OTHER NEWS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THIS KEYCHAIN

WHY ARE HIS LIMBS SO LONG

HIS LEGS ARE BACKWARDS AND HIS PACIFIER IS STONE

CADY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING

tsuna covers the weather&forecasts and, with namimori being mild 365 days a year, it is as dry as you can imagine. tsuna can’t believe he went to school for this. he starts sneaking in acrostics and codes into the weather report to alleviate his boredom and so unwittingly spawns a very dedicated group of conspiracy theorists that believe a higher power is communicating through the humble Namimori Times and will prophesy the coming end. thanks tsuna

ryohei covers Sports but, being ryohei, does not care about any sports where you dont punch dudes. he makes up for it by being incredibly enthusiastic and while he may not know what this kind of ball in this kind of net means he’s SUPER PUMPED TO THE EXTREME ABOUT IT!!! readers love him and ryohei is considered a minor celebrity.

gokudera covers Science and Tech because he made a terrible decision in college and got all these math and science degrees during a time in the job market where no one needs scientists and mathematicians and while one doesn’t actually need to understand what they’re reporting on (ryohei for example is objectively the worst at News) he will hold onto this easy (for him) job even if it kills him. he also has a segment on fridays about recent UMA sightings.

yamamoto, having lost the job for Sports, is actually an incredibly good photojournalist and covers General News. his defining trait is that he’ll go out any time any place for the Scoop. 4am? he’ll be there in PJs gettin that story. all the way across town there’s strange happenings in the mountain forest region?? he’ll get there rain or shine. a Literal Tornado coming to Namimori?? he dont give a fuck he’s got a hot story about this bake sale he’s got to cover

haru covers the fashion subcategory of Entertainment but instead of high concept runway Fashion she covers people who met on the street and also people wearing Literal Costumes. there is no inbetween. she has a good eye for the trends of today but will always, without fail, find someone dressed as like. a banana. or a horse. (spoiler: they’re all the same person) 30% of newspaper sales are readers looking forward to the next installment of costume guy

lambo covers the food subcategory of Entertainment because he can just eat at places and rate them??? Hell Yeah. he does fuck all when he’s actually in the office but he always gets his pieces in on time? and theyre really good? half of the local restaurant community chase after his elusive rarely awarded 5 star score while the other half disregard him because the only time he gave out a 5 star was to a candy shop having a grape themed sale

chrome works behind the scenes. what does she do? no one knows. someone once saw her stamp something. someone else saw her fiddle with cables. one time she was a pretty decent replacement for a reporter who fell sick? everyone assumes she’s doing something because she walks around with a clipboard making ‘hmm’ noises every once in a while and never has chrome been asked about her job. chrome has worked there for 6 years

hibari runs an advice column but no one knows how he got the job??? his advice is so terrible??? one time he got a question about relationship troubles and all he wrote was “fight to the death”??? after a couple of ‘answered’ questions, he ignores them and writes these very well worded pieces on animals he met today and their virtues. readers think his section is performance art and praise it for ‘exposing the weakness of print media’ but in reality no one wants to be the one who fires him.

hana works in advertising and she and her team are one of the only reasons this newspaper is making money. every week she bemoans the fact she still works in this dinky small town newspaper and tries to persuade kyouko to leave with her for better jobs, newer heights, and to not work with people like him!! *points at hibari who is feeding 30 birds from his desk*

kyouko is the lead editor and is literally the lynchpin that holds that frankly terrible newspaper together. she makes sure gokudera’s sections aren’t filled with science jargon accessible to only 0.001% of the population. she culls the excess of a particular adjective from ryohei’s bit while retaining the energy. she forces hibari to answer at least two question from readers who send in. god bless this sinful earth for kyouko sasagawa

Tsuna looked at Reborn like he was the sun. 

okay so

i want you to get anything denim from your house and just fucking bite it. bite it as hard as you can

chances are you can’t bite through the denim very well

so, here’s what i’m thinking:

zombie apocalypse?

all-denim outfit.

predictions for chapter 799