When we first started animal rescue, we were told that the more animals we take in, the more deaths we'd see. We knew that, but we didn't know that. When we first started fostering, dogs were moving out pretty quickly, then we'd cry and get the next one to help with each one being more difficult to place than the next. Then, it happened. Our first foster dog that passed away on our watch (Soldier). That one we rescued him on our own and the rescue we fostered for took him in to re-home. We of course blamed ourselves, and what made it worse, is he passed in the same month as my dad. Then we had another pass down the line (Jo Jo). We were devastated again. Over the years, we continued to foster, each death affecting us greater than the last. Eventually we got to have a lot of dogs due to them being adopted and people not being able to fulfill the dog properly and in turn bringing them back. Because of this, we decided that we wouldn't let them get adopted again. Then we'd pick up the occasional stray, and now we have sort of a sanctuary (we're not taking in anymore). Well, we're approaching the hard part again. All of our dogs are old now, most of them in double digits or a year shy of them. We put down our very first dog together (Tinkerbell) two years ago, that was an extremely difficult one. We remember the day we got each of them, and where they were, and how far they've come. We've lost a couple and there are a couple that we'll soon have to decide on. If we let them live out the rest of their life, we're worried that we let them suffer. If we decide on euthanasia, we'll be worried that we didn't give them the chance and gave up on them. Neither decision is necessarily good or bad, but when it comes to it, we always do what we think is best, even if we question it when it's all said and done. We've remembered every dog we've ever fostered/owned and they had just as much of an impact on our lives as we've had on theirs. We just hope that every decision we've made in the end was the best that we could have for them.
