Planet J

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

aliens love travelng million of light years to be naked in the middle of the night in a forest

there are a lot of Extremely Married moments in good omens, but I maintain that the Most Married moment is when crowley says out of nowhere, “ducks! they’re what water slides off.” and aziraphale heaves a deeply put-upon sigh and says, “….just drive the car.”

a close runner up is when Aziraphale wants to do magic at Warlock’s birthday party and Crowley just goes, “Make you disappear”, and Aziraphale’s not put out in the slightest

and third place goes to “Oh Lord, heal this bike”

“Not you, I know what you smell like.”

For me it’s always the bit on the airfield where Aziraphale is going “I was technically on apple tree duty–” and setting up for a very long explanation akd Crowley just looks at him and makes a little gesture and shakes his head a bit with “Sweetheart this is really not the time” written all over him.

I feel like at some point this post will have just listed every exchange they have

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Can a Christian nephewess watch TV without soul poison?

Stop delaying joy until life looks a certain way. You're allowed to be happy while you're figuring things out.

DJ dubcon hopes everyone in the club is having a good time tonight but he’s not going to check

I'm so fucking grateful I get to be a lesbian