crouchin' on the outside

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

my promising gardening career was cut short when i was mauled by a rampaging basil plant

you can use this handy mnemonic to remember the planets of the solar system

mercury penus gearth cars wupiter caturn shuranus weptune iluto wluto mluto bluto aluto rluto bluto pluto

go back to sleep puppy *holds chlorophyll over your face*

haha yay! *starts making sugars*

i love this post and always reblog it because it reminds me of a game i used to play in the bath tub as a child which was called “plant sugars” and the premise was that i was a plant organism and i had to produce starches to store in my tuber

i’m free on thursday if you wanna start a toxic codependent thing

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

Every time I type "liek" instead of "like" I can feel the specter of mid-2000s memes passing through me like someone walking over my grave.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

Sex should have a secondary gameplay loop where you build bases, manage resources, and expand your territory

And a fishing mini game. Obviously.

i dont care if Monday's lit. Tuesday Wednesday touch my clit. Thursday i don't give a shit. it's Friday I'm in love

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".