Wheeze

It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.

But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.

I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube (I was telling my horror story) and my nana asked, “What’s that?”

I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”

There was a silent beat after this statement.

I looked up.

My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.

And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.

“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.

“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.

someone will

someone out there will see you and say "yes. the world is scary. but let me hold your hand and show you how to do it anyways"

Play Toys

Play Pretend

my SO and i have a projector. our cool neighbors have a vast dvd collection. fundamentally these are toys. we have those neighbors over for movie nights. Play Toys. more broadly shared hobbies fall into this category but it's extra fun if there's Equipment to admire and share.

ttrpgs are obvious but invaluable examples of Play Pretend. HOWEVER your options are not limited to this. i started a local writing group and this is also Play Pretend bc we all talk about our stories together. there are many such creative endeavors in this world.

having someone over for a meal is Snack Time. if you make a lil thing of it and eat at the table and make it nice with dessert and a fancy beverage to share it feels very grown up. and you will feel impressed with yourself for it. but it scratches the same itch as trading fruit snacks and suchlike.

of course these can be mixed and matched. most activities are enhanced by Snack Time if your friend targets enjoy breaking bread together.

and one begets the other. if you Play Pretend with someone for long enough they may eventually tell you about Toys they have and if you want to play too they'll probably let you. if they're nice.