angels, deciding what shape to take when interacting with The Humans: wellâŚ.eye contact is important to humans, right? they find it reassuring when they can see the eyes of the person theyâre talking to. so if we have LOTS of eyes, in very visible places, thatâll be even MORE reassuring
canât stop thinking how much sense it would make if every design choice angels made was just a misguided attempt to Relate To The Humans. imagine how those conversations went
wings: âhumans donât like things they canât understand, so if weâre going to levitate we should have wings. in fact we should probably have lots of wings, since weâre so big and impressive. humans like wingsâ
loud, booming voices: âfuck off Azrael the humans needs to be able to hear us.â
glowing: âno no no, itâs about visibility, right? the main human sensory organ works by detecting light, so if we emit lightâŚâÂ
wheels: âwhy the hell are you shaped like that?â âpiss off, the humans are really proud of this inventionâ
multiple faces/eyes: âit makes me relatableâ âi swear to God it doesnâtââ âi need to see in every directionâ â Azrael you are a supernatural messenger of god you do not needââ âTHE HUMANS NEED TO KNOW IâM WATCHINGâ
multiple limbs: âhumans have lots of limbs! they like limbsâ âlook i let you keep the wings butââ âhow do you expect me to walk?â â70,000 feet is not a reasonable number of feet, Azrael!â âfuck off iâm ENORMOUSâÂ
general gross misapprehensions of biology: âholy shit are your wings made out of eyes?â âlook before you say anything iâm like 100% sure iâve seen animals who have both wings and eyes. and you can fit so many more in this way!â ââŚ.you godforsaken googly-eyed geniusâ
i absolutely adore Bible fanfiction like this
Bible fanfiction
So, um, apparently the angels didnât appreciate this post.
Sacrifice time





























