Today My Roommate... @todaymyroommate - Tumblr Blog

Today my roommate came out of the bathroom whisper-singing "my body. my body my body my body" under her breath.

#i don't even know #i try not to question her #someonewhodreams #why?

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Today my roommate discovered that we were meant to be together.

I am the Christian rapper

to her Anjelah Johnson.

#well she's def Bon Qui Qui #and I did recognize the group he's from #someonewhodreams #it's fate

Today my roommate was giggling.

"I was just washing my face, and then....

BLOOD-BORN PATHOGENS!"

#um #i really don't know how to respond to this #i'm mildly concerned #... she says she got a nosebleed #apparently #someonewhodreams

Today my roommate decided she had to do some laundry.

And then she became a dragon.

Or at least she sounded like one. The laundry card she was carrying between her teeth may have helped with that.

I asked if her basket of laundry was her treasure horde, but she said the reason she was making angry dragon noises was because she didn't wanna do her laundry.

Well, the solution to that was obvious.

So, she is now looking for a prince to kidnap so that she can force him to do her laundry for her by growling and threatening to breathe fire at him.

#someonewhodreams #my roommate is a dragon #a deranged dragon #but a dragon nonetheless #who is singing about gasolina in a dragony voice #all the way down the hall

Today my roommate had her glasses off for a few minutes.

"I can't see anything, just saying."

"I'm all bliiiiiiind."

"I hope I don't see anyone. Scratch that, I CAN'T see anyone, I hope no one sees me."

And, while standing in the middle of the living room, in front of a random dining room chair:

"Oh, there are my pants!" she exclaims as she drops her pjs, only to put them back on over the pants.

"Okay! I'm ready for the outside world."

"I don't even know what's going on...."

"Why are you looking at me like that? Because I have pants on under my pajamas? Even though they're not real pants at all? I have to pee now. I have to take my pants back off..."

She then proceeds to "sing" the Pink Panther theme and finally puts her glasses back on. (I think she's actually going to leave now to get her sandwich, if she ever stops absently jingling the change in her coat and gets a move on.)

#someonewhodreams #issues with seeing things apparently #today my roommate #i swear #never a dull moment

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Today my roommate accidentally snapped her toothbrush in half.

#don't ask me how cuz i don't know #someonewhodreams

Today my roommate HIT ME WITH A SNOWBALL.

Inside our dorm room.

Right smack in the chest.

While "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" played in the background.

#like she gathered snow from the window sill #and hit me right as i sat down #cold #snowball fight #today my roommate #someonewhodreams

Today my roommate laughed with me about

- All the glorious posts about Hans

- Losing voices and trying to use "I lost my voice to Ursula the Sea Witch and am now looking for my true love" as a line to pick up guys at a bar.

- Her attempt at sounding like the doge meme, but ending up sounding more like a bad attempt at slam poetry concerning blood and her female anatomy being angry

- Slamming her hands on our door right as some people walked by in the hallway and making them jump

- Yelling to one of the girls across the hall as she left:

---Hey! Hey you! (Alexis)

---Yeah? (Girl)

---What are you doing? (A)

---Laundry! (G)

---Oh what fun! (Me)

---Do you like tacos?! (A)

---What the heck, Alexis? (Me)

---....Okay...? (G)

---OKAY, BYE! (A)

In the span of half an hour.

#what #what the heck #Alexis #really?#I question you #not that that's new or anything #but still #someonewhodreams #crazy roommate things #today my roommate

Today my roommate smeared honey all over her face.

It was a rather sticky situation.

#I mean #she said her face was too dry #or something #okay and now she asked if i wanted to lick her face #what in the world #actually goes through your mind #someonewhodreams #i just don't know

Today my roommate couldn't find her glasses.

They were on her face.

She was looking out of them.

#just #so much skill there #genius #way to go #someonewhodreams

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dreamwhilehoping007

So this awesome cat shirt deserves some major love, it might be overkill… but I think not. ENJOY!!! ootd

todaymyroommate

Today my roommate wore this awesome cat shirt. And had me take pictures of it at 12:30 at night.

#someonewhodreams #cat shirt

Today my roommate tried to put wrapping paper in the fridge instead of the trash can.

It is finals week, though, so I understand.

#someonewhodreams #oopsies #finals week #NOT looking forward to that #...but here goes anyway #(psst... that doesn't go in the fridge)

salamurai-blog

Life is like a pair of pants. Some days you find money in the pocket, and other days your belt loop catches on the doorknob of your classroom and you take out three desks and a foreign exchange student as you stumble in.

todaymyroommate

And sometimes you lose them altogether.

#I'm lookin' at you roomie #someonewhodreams #i will never let you live that down

Today my roommate wanted to take a nap at almost 11 pm.

I stood in the doorway to her room as she recounted the tale of the jeggings to me.

Part of the way through her tale, she slips a hand into her pillowcase and pulls out a piece of paper.

Confused (and slightly amused), I ask, "Do you normally keep paper in your pillowcase?"

She pauses and looks down, then says (in a voice that was just as confused as I was), "I don't know."

#way to go #good job #my roommate #she isn't sure if she keeps paper in her pillowcase on a regular basis #or not #i am once again #somewhat concerned #someonewhodreams

todaymyroommate

Today my roommate lost a pair of pants.

todaymyroommate

Today my roommate walked to the campus rec center (for work, I presume).

When she arrived, her backpack was gaping wide open.

She quickly dug through the bag, relieved that her laptop and new sweater had not fallen out.

She came...

todaymyroommate

Today my roommate found her pair of pants.

But she also got named "jeggings girl"

#someonewhodreams #good job #so proud #seriously though #how did you do that #congrats on getting the pants back tho

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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todaymyroommate

Today my roommate lost a pair of pants.

todaymyroommate

Today my roommate walked to the campus rec center (for work, I presume).

When she arrived, her backpack was gaping wide open.

She quickly dug through the bag, relieved that her laptop and new sweater had not fallen out.

She came to the realization, however, that she was missing a pair of jeggings.

How does this happen?! she wondered.

Frankly, I have no idea. Congrats, though.

Anyway, she went to the front desk at the rec center. No pants.

So she called the information desk. No pants, call back later.

Called back later, no pants.

Called campus safety, no pants, would you like to file a missing item claim?

Files claim.

Gets a call back later, goes to campus safety.

(Takes the bus and almost misses her stop completely).

Arrives.

"Um... this is gonna sound weird, but... do you have a pair of pants?"

Other girl working there shouts excitedly, "Are you the jeggings girl?!"

Yes, yes she was.

Today my roommate lost a pair of pants.

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