Jackie

mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark

Do you think cavemen ever got humiliated and had the kms urge? Like "Grug so embarrassed, Grug jump into tar pit" and then Glarg is like "Noooo everyone forget soon" and Grug is like "Grug going to do it for real"

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

*Puts hand over gaud’s mouth* It’s a butterfly pea. Please ignore the Latin name.

june is over... goodbye pride month, hello disability pride month!!

let's all be disabled this month... together 🤝

if you're not disabled yet: no need to worry! i can help. come closer.

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

💯

so important to remember coconut curry exists

This is almost exactly how I make it, but if you wanna add some extra oomph without getting too fancy, I also toast the curry spice mix in sesame oil before adding the coconut milk. Toast it until it looks like the spice mix is excreting its own oil, add and mix in a bit of water and then wait for it to evaporate, and repeat that once or twice. Takes about 5 minutes and deepens the flavor a bit if you wanna try it. I think it's called blooming the spices?

please reblog this until i find my true love. i am so alone

oh hell yeah even better

Reblogging for poly people, mono people, and people who need their keys

I wouldn’t wanna leave a trans polycule/ monogamy/ key chain incomplete

i lost my fucking keys

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

Character duo where one *remembers I don’t like fitting characters into trope boxes* is a completely fleshed out and realised person *remembers treating characters as real people and not story devices written with intent is bad* who is written by the author and *remembers death of the author* uh. And *fumbles and drops my pile of queue cards* ah fuck wait no *the menacing horse* what was that.

I am terribly curious of the pasting strategy on that last pic. The dedication of lasso-ing the orb out of the photo only to put it on top of the white square is admirable.