The Tickled Dragon

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

One day post TLG, Harris has the Cens doing a video for social media, it’s a competition for who can keep a straight face while the others try to make them break with a smile or a laugh.

Towards the end, only Ilya remains. No one can break him, so they go get Shane. He’s got a little smile while they explain and he starts thinking of what to say. Of what he can say for a video going on the internet.

He hesitates, because he knows what he wants to tell Ilya, but keep it their secret. No one else needs to know what this was about, but he’s saved this tidbit, waiting to play it at the right time. Ilya’s steeling himself. He loves Shane and usually would smile with him just in the room, trying do be earnest about anything, but he won’t let his husband break him for this. Finally Shane makes direct eye contact with Ilya -

‘The first time, after the commercial,’

Ilya tenses, eyes light up but he’s keeping his face neutral. He isn’t sure what he thought Shane would say but it wasn’t this.

‘ while I was waiting for you -‘

‘I put on a suit and tie.’

Ilya has never been so happy to lose at something

Here are some of my favorite HR fics, that no one asked for and all authors are tagged! (Orange Series link, Red Single Fic link, Blue Incomplete Fics) {Secondary reminder please read the tags of each fic when you open them. I'd hate for anyone to be unsafe <3}

Hearth - Anonymous Explicit, A/B/O, Medieval AU, BAMF Consort! Shane kicks a coup's ass while King! Ilya's smug as hell. Then Shane makes it Ilya's problem. Don't worry it's fantatically written. The first and third fics are more world building of the fantasy medieval world and then the second is heat smut. I've reread this about 3 times now. 19,813 words 3 works Uncomplete

don't wanna cover the scar - @kardsine  Explicit, A/B/O, Dune AU, Soulmates AU, Shane as Paul Atreides and Hollanov and gang completely up end the fortold plan for the universe. This fic made me want to read Dune. Its so good and you really get into everyones heads! 42,964 words 5 chapters Complete

evermine - xiiaos Expllicit, A/B/O, Village AU Repective heirs of rival villages Hollanov fall in love over a series of sercret meetings in the woods between their villages. Culminating in bonding in mating. It's super sweet and smutty. 15,543 words 1 chapter Complete

speak to us of clothes - @baroness-elsa Teen, Canon Compilant, POV Outsider Hollanov through the eyes of Shane's stylist. I swear to god the things that Ilya leaves at Shane's apartment could pay a semester of my tuition. The stylist is super sweet and the author is really knowledgable about what they are talking about. 5,003 words 1 chapter Complete

quick, he needs more hockey! - @capriciouswrites @safelycapricious Teen, Canon Universe, Shane gets outed and then traded to the Admrials. He makes this Scott and (slightly less so) Kip's problem. Its super light hearted there are some social media / podcast transcript elements. A running joke is that Shane carried the Metro's team one game that it was basically just him and Mitty and a character can't get over it, which was really funny. This fic slaps and it fills the Scot-Shane friendship gap that I love. 10,515 words 1 chapter Complete

and if i didn't know better. - joooceee Teen, Magical Realism, Yuna meets Irina. Its such a bittersweet fic and the author weaves everything together so beautifully. 4,240 words 1 chapter Complete

Adopt A Stray - Tammy151 Teen, Hurt/Comfort sort of, The Bears kidnap Shane after they find out about Hollanov which then results in Shane ultimately becoming a Bear. When this was still incomplete I was a subscriber and when I tell you I would drop everything when the emails came in. The Bears are so sweet and they make me so proud of Boston. Marly is also like actually such an intellect lol. 19,431 words 27 chapters Complete

homegrown - anonymous Mature and Teen, Roommates AU, The NHL lockout of of 2012-13 but in 2015. Shane and Ilya go play for the Switz league during the lockout and end up as roommates on the same team. Its so sappy sweet and it's told within flashback of once the lock out ends of their time in Switzerland. Oh baby the yearning. 63,335 words 2 works Uncomplete

Goodbye, Shane - Kitkatexistskindamaybe Not Rated, Major Charcter Death, Heavy Angst, Suicide, Dead Dove: Don't Eat The Centaurs plane goes down with no surivours and so does Shane's heart. This one is so sad y'all but I love it so much. Poor Hayden. 1,477 words 1 chapter Complete

When The World Caves In - @acourtofladydeath Mature, Major Character, Angst, Depression I think this is my favorite plane crash fic, ofc I love the tragities everyone dies Hamlet style fics but this one is amazing because Shane lives. Basically the Centaurs' plane goes down and this chronicals the next almost 60 years of Shane's life as he with Svetlana, Scott, Cliff, Pike co. and Drover co. build Ilya and the Centaurs' legacy. The last chapter makes my heart sing. 50,464 words 7 chapters Complete

heated roommates - biibuckley Teen, College AU, Roommate AU Sophmore roommates Hollanov struggle through feelings, classes, and trying not to kill eachother. Featuring Gay mentors Skip, Good Friends Harris/Troy, idiots Hollanov. Omg I love this fic its so good... They communicate via Letterboxd for a while its such a good trip. 19,870 words 1 chapter Complete

mic'ed up - hozanova (reymanova) Teen, Canon Universe, Social Media AU Basically Hollanov's chaos v. Harris' media admin. The Centaurs also end up winning the cup and there's a killer playlist via Cens post win Karaoke. 18,156 words 4 chapters Complete

Panic! At The League - fffpppp Teen, Texting Fics mostly, Canon Universe The league facing Shane signing with Ottawa to be with his husband. The chill guys in the league realising that they're now facing the First Husbands of Hockey and promptly crashing out about it. 17,120 words 5 works Uncomplete

Shane Hollander CANCELLED! - mochae Not Rated, Social Media/Texting AU Shane looses his phone and all of his texts with "Lily" get leaked. The internet promptly looses its mind that "Canada's Golden Boy" is a misognistic asshole. But all the while it's just Ilya. Its both hilarious and frustrating. Bc like internet. 3,007 words 2 works Uncomplete

baby model shane - anonymous General Audiences, Social Media AU, Crack Yuna had Shane modelling as a kid as a way to pay for hockey and his friends, found family, and the internet find the evidence of that. Cue Ilya loosing his mind over baby Shane. 3,443 words 2 Chapters Complete

Luca Haas Sees Ghosts - beancove General Audiences, Social Media AU, Q*inn H*ghes AU You know how there's a meme that Q*inn H*ghes of the Minnisota Wild sees ghosts because he just straight up dissociates on the ice often? Well maybe if you're not a irl hockey fan you don't but I think it breach containment. But, instead of a crusty irl player its Luca Haas, the baby of the Centaurs. All the memes we make of Q. H*ghes are made about Luca. Its hilarous, everytime I reread this I die laughing. 5,187 words 1 chapter (As a sidenote follow my hockey blog for info about irl PWHL and NHL @noballsrequired19 you might be able to convince me to find some of the memes)

Spicy Face-Off: Hollander vs. Rozanov | Ottawa Centaurs Star Forwards Try Hot Ones Challenge - @xianvar Teen, Social Media AU, It's laid out pretty well in the title. Hollanov verus Hot Ones. Also Shane is a FREAK /a. Not in a sexy way but in a I'm bullying him for his insane tolerance of spice. I'm also bullying Ilya for his lack of spice tolerance, man's a whimp. Also Ilya's contact name for Evan Dykestra lives rent free in my head. 7,866 words 3 chapters Complete

from space, the earth looks like a small blue ball - @oneofusisspiraling General Audiences Character Study, A study of Ilya in comparsion to Laika and dogs in general. Its super sweet and ofc it features our girl Anya. 1,243 words 1 chapter Complete

Earthseed - @phoenixortheflame Explicit, Space AU, What if Hollanov were the last survivors of the human race? What if they found each other randomly out in space? Ah! The parallels between Earth-born Ilya chosen to bring the last piece of the human species to a new planet and Space-born Shane who's only ever know his parent's ship and his parents. This is so meaty and interesting!! 21,651 words 3 works Complete

when the sun came up, you were looking at me - alteridemlynch General Audiences, Supernatural Creatures AU, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Shane's a vampire and Ilya's a werewolf, Ilya is actually a giant puppy who likes scritches. Like there are smutty vamp/were fics for this pairing but I love this one because it's so domestic and cute.

circle back season - anonymous Teen, Time Travel AU, Fluff, Crack, The Time Traveler's Wife AU Shane time jumps to different points in his life randomly and his 18 y/o self who is hours away from the final of the Prospect Cup jumps forward in time to The Cottage. Cue Panic from both bby! Shane and Ilya who are freaked out for slightly different reasons. My love for this fic made me start The Time Travel's Wife because I'm so obsessed with it. Same anon as home economics. 9,618 words 1 chapter Complete

Crash and Burn Brighter - SuperiorJello Mature, Time Travel Fix-it, Major Character Death but they get better, Following The Centaur's plane crashing and Shane's death via Heartbreak, Hollanov are reunited at their first meeting at the Prospect Cup and this time their determined not to live in the closet. It's slightly cracky just by context of the situation and some of the ways Hollanov respond but it's definitly treated very seriously and rip to Skip for being blattenly told the truth and just going no fucking way, because in the same sitution I'd do that too. Oh I love this one. My favorite line is when Shane straight up tells Yuna that Ilya's going to be his future husband after in that current setting only knowing him for a year. Really beating Skip for the U-haul Lesbians title in their second chance. 19,021 words 2 chapters Complete.

i'll believe in anything - bisoubug Mature, Supernatural/ Ghoul Boys /Ghostbusters AU, Time Travel AU, Historical AU, Soulmates AU I've recomended this one before, see my liveblog reading here. Theres like three different universe diverences going on starting with Shane's a ghost from the 80s and Ilya's an ECHL player who's also a youtube ghost hunter like the Ghoul Boys and also is boarderline a medium like in Ghosts. Idk it's a wild time, I loved this one it kept me on my toes the whole time. If you like supernatural murder mysteries you'll like this one. 36,544 11 Chapters Complete

Jane & Lily - Amee19 Mature, Texting fics, WAG fics, Crack Montreal and Boston decide to text "Boston Lily" and "Montreal Jane". Both Boston and Montreal are good friends in these. They are so funny and I love the fics were their respective teams steal the other's number and they go off in the chats. 8,059 words 2 works Uncomplete

Ilya Rozanov's secret ao3 account - Candetrona Teen, Meta, In an attempt to improve his english in 2008 Ilya creates an ao3 account and "lily" becomes THE hollanov writer on ao3. He straight up writes his interpretation of different situations he and Shane get into and makes a bunch of online friends along the way. Its cracky but its sweet. "Lily"'s friends care so much for "her" and its definetly giving Ilya more confidence. This is one of the fics that when I get the subscriber email I drop whatever I'm doing to read. 15,918 words 6 chapters Uncomplete

the tape measure incident & guess (the tape measure incident remix) - @darlinghollanov & rowed Teen & Mature, Crack, Social Media, Hockey TikTok Trends All I'm going to give you is my comment on guess "I can only imagine that Shane got it orginally via girl hand math when they were 18" 1,391 words & 1,496 words 1 chapters Complete

you just taste so goddamn good to me - samsteves Explicit, Supernatural AU, Vampire Ilya and Werewolf Shane. You thought I wasn't going to give you a smutty Vamp/Were fic? Oh this one is so good its hot, its funny, theres a meaty plot (pun intended), Ilya tries to buy his boyfriend those dog booties (happens in the author's note) . 7,835 words 1 Chapter Complete

In Another Life (It's You, It Will Always Be You) - Amee19 Explicit, Time Travel Fix-it, After living a long life together Hollanov wake up at 17 on the day they met and they decide to do it all over but this time fixing things along the way. This is one of my current subscriptions that I drop everything for. I'm always so excited for it. Because they are changing things dynamics are different and I can't wait to see where this goes! 70,062 words 12 chapters Uncomplete

ilya grabbing shane's tummy not wanting him to go makes me so :((((((

# ILYA ROZANOV IS A COMEDIAN  

# (ALMOST) EVERY TIME SHANE MADE ILYA ROZANOV SMILE

They routinely have entire conversations where Ilya is very softly smacking Shane's foot the entire time. Shane enjoys the percussive feedback.

Ilya mispronounces the word "Application" and they just sit there mutually whispering 'Aaap-li-caaa-shun' at each other for the next thirty seconds.

Ilya comes up behind Shane while he's trying to make a smoothie and says 'HELPING HANDS' and puts his arms under Shane's armpits.

Ilya sees Shane undressing in the bathroom and yells, "Take it all off!"

Shane carries Anya into the bedroom and holds her over Ilya's chest and moves her paws and says, "Papa it is me. Papa it has been an whole hour since I ate. Papa I am so hungry and sad." then drops her on his stomach.

Shane comes into the home office and grabs a pen off the desk and puts it against Ilya's cheek and says, "Any last words?" and Ilya says, "I wish I had eaten more dumplings."

Ilya spends an entire episode of House Hunters International with his hand down Shane's pants. It's not doing anything in there either it's just keeping warm.

Sometimes they are just mutually awake at three AM for No Reason and they go stand on the porch and stare at the empty street together.

Sometimes they are laying there playing footsie on the couch while on their phones (Parallel play) and Shane says, "Does your mouth ever do that squeezing thing. You know. When you eat." And Ilya says "Explain" and they spend the next ten minutes dissecting whether this is a Human Experience or a Shane Experience.

Sometimes Ilya will put his head on Shane's stomach and say, "Show me your boooones" and wait for Shane to lift his shirt so he can burrow under it.

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [Here comes a lion, Father] Sithi uhm ingonyama [Oh yes, it’s a lion] Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [Here comes a lion, Father] Sithi uhm ingonyama [Oh yes, it’s a lion] Ingonyama [It’s a lion] Siyo Nqoba [We’re going to conquer] Ingonyama Ingonyama nengw’ enamabala [A lion and a leopard come to this open place] (repeats) [queue English lyrics]