Overthinking

Just had the harsh realization that even though my friends would miss me and be sad if I died, it doesn't change how lonely I feel. They rarely reach out to me, and when I do reach out, I only get a few words or get left on read

I had the awful realization that my ex situationship was probably right, JUST LITTLE, about me and now I have to take that shit to therapy. It's fucking exhausted trying to improve yourself

I was listening to Nightgale Lane by Raye and I was surprised because I felt anguish when I thought of falling in love again. I guess because I see a relationship as a responsibility and I know many don't see that way, but apparently I do. I have so much on my plate right now that the thought of dating feels quite heavy.