Let's Get Drunk and Talk About Dinosaurs

now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

croissant seeking behavior

being an adult is always like i have to go to the store i have to go to the store i have to go to the store

(with the intention of ordering grapes from the lemonade stand) hey

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

the restorative practice called going to the movies alone, very important to me like taking vitamins

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

your laura palmer comparison was trite and unfounded

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

you know apparently you're not supposed to give kittens and cats saucers of milk? yeah what you're actually supposed to give them is 1-2 Modelo tall boys. easy mistake to make, happens to the best of us.

Person in the grocery store had amazon rainforest sounds blasting on their phone as they shopped and I think that's a beautiful use of free will

"people who don't wear headphones in public are a nuisance" except this one. I respect their indomitable human spirit