Gameboy Fables

official vampire post

I love the x-men so much because that's just what leftist infighting is like! that's literally all it is! xavier is a sellout and they all hate him but he's the only one with any money. everyone complains about "they keep switching sides and dating each other it's so fucking confusing" like my dudes have you never been a part of any socialist organisation, ever. then people will go "magneto is so strong how has he not killed a bunch of teenagers" HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL THEM! this started in a goddam basement over coffee he does not want to hurt them he just wants them to shut up and listen and will fling cars to do so

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

“Me, refusing to leave: sir, this is my emotional hell” is a funnier text post than my original one, good job censorbot.

hello, future tumblr! this is what we thought was funny in december 2018.

We still think it’s funny in December 2019

We still think it’s funny in December 2020

We still think it’s funny in December 2021

we still think its funny in december 2022

we still think it’s funny in December 2023

There is a crack in everything, that’s how the fanfic gets in

They’re not plotholes. It’s a dress and it has pockets, and we keep our AUs in the pockets :)

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow

i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr

LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo

HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS

it’s so beautiful up here

i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher

it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse

by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm

the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat

i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?

oh. i am in his path

it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired

the wax

he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him

his skin burns. i cannot hold on

i slip through his fingers.

it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought

i wonder if he cried for me

i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was

i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted

i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of

i am not afraid

i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid

please please please please please pleaseplease

the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing

please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease

I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N

What car seat headrest song is that ?

the fall of icarus (457 B.C.E.)

we used to have normalized whump. remember what they took from you....

back in the day you could write about the most sickeningly vile atrocious war crimes happening to your blorbo and everyone was like. kyaaaaaaaa >w<. they just got it. they understood

What the fuck is whump

Don't worry about it kitten