The Escapist

this is better than an entire season of american horror story

is no one concerned that he did not blink ONCE

i feel like the government has tried to erase all my memories of these

​I stole a green one when I was in kindergarden… but that night when I got home, my mom by chance read to me Junie B Jones is not a crook and it made me feel so guilty about stealing it that I brought it back to class the next day crying and begging my teacher to not get me expelled

Literally

sir that’s my emotional support tapeworm

venom (2018)

WITH BOTH THE LORD AND POLICE!! ☝🏾

DRAG THEM!!!

Tyranny of the few is a pretty sweet deal if you belong to the few.

“Why should the coast’s vote count more?” BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE AND THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY A DEMOCRACY.

A Map Of Where The People Live

My ex friend was yelling at me near a hill, so I took out my gun and tried to shoot her. Then Obama jumped in harm’s way and got shot in the chest. I ran to him, sobbing. I hugged his body to me as he whispered his last words , “We protect our enemies, so that they one day would do the same for you.”

Bootyshorts which say “enemy of the state”

FISH NO

FISH PLEASE YOU COULD GET HURT

mama pasta looks so kind