How convenient it is to attach small, useful objects to your clothes at waist level
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@lost-forest-heart
How convenient it is to attach small, useful objects to your clothes at waist level

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actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now
asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.
Some last minute birthday pictures. Iâm soo not used to being in front of a legitimate camera lol, Iâve gotten used to phone cameras.
I hope the nervous awkwardness isnât apparent in my faceđŹ

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I feel like in the rush of âthrow out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced firstâ we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.
A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we âdonât know what to do or sayâ had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we havenât replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.
a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations
if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:
"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"
like it sounds kind of trite but it was at least something to say and it can still be meant with kind sincerity. it also communicates in 2 sentences that you don't want to see them romantically again, but there aren't any hard feelings about that. that's it!!! that's all it takes!!!
Another example is that at parties a lot of people talk about how awkward it is to mingle or talk to people they dont know. But at old timey parties that was traditionally the HOST'S job, and there was a specific scripted way of doing it that eased the process! The host would bring you in, introduce you and maybe even a little bit about you like what you did for a living, and then guide you to a group you could talk to. They didn't just let you in the door and then ditch you to fend for yourself in a sea of strangers. That would be unthinkable and no one would be surprised if a get-together like that wound up being awkward.
I still do the party-host thing and yall can, too! (Thanks Mad Men for teaching me a lot of outmoded social scripts... no really tho)
Remember things about your friends! Ask people about their weekends, hobbies, holidays, studies, and jobs! Listen for the concerns people have and what they are working on! Draw connections between one person and another to get the ball rolling. "Oh, Maura, you just got your first cat! You should talk to Felix, he used to work at a rescue. Felix, please tell Maura all the new-cat-guardian pointers."
"Bill, Sheila, Xan, this is my friend Kale. Kale is really into Star Trek, Bill you and them should talk about it!"
Orrr whatever! After you make the introduction and draw the connection you just float on into the next interaction with someone else at the function. Just listen, care about your friends, get our of your own head, and think of how you can bring other people together and you will feel 100% less awkward.
hi i am so excited about this post because i have posted this exact thing MANY times on here, often in the specific context of how formal etiquette is so useful for autistic people especially, but also for everyone. even if you come off a little bit formal, which you will sometimes, having Old School Manners (or just knowing what they are) for various common scenarios is like having a magic ticket that will just sail you through all kinds of social iinteractions, gatekeeping, social weirdness, and as is pointed out in the above posts about introducing people to each other, can make you into a really valuable and helpful person for an entire gathering or group of people.
i also want to point out that knowing what the polite thing to do in all situations makes you a lot more effective at being rude and obnoxious when the situation calls for it, which is also a valuable and necessary adult skill
#things to write#but also#things to do#I could certainly benefit from a manual...
If you're looking for a manual on these sorts of things; social etiquette, social scripts, how to handle difficult and/or awkward social situations, etc. then I highly recommend picking up any book by Miss Manners. Her books really are the gold standard for learning the types of skills this post is talking about. I should also mention that Miss Manners is witty and hilarious so her books are also fun to read.
The best book by Miss Manners to get started with would be Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. This one is probably the best starting point because it gives the best overview of all the basics.
If you're the type who likes to listen to podcasts, I recommend checking out "Were You Raised By Wolves?" and/or "Awesome Etiquette". Both are also great tools for learning the type of social skills this post is talking about. I'm personally a fan of "Were You Raised By Wolves?" because not only are they pretty funny and informative, they also bother to try to teach the underlying social intelligence behind various manners and social etiquette so that you can have the skills to solve social dilemmas on your own. However, "Awesome Etiquette" is also pretty fun and informative.
#long post#I feel like 'i dont do small talk nobody cares about the weather' had a negative impact on social interaction#I mean yeah sometimes small talk about nothing gets awkward. but often it leads to the most interesting conversations#just asking 'what kind of music do you listen to at the gym' or 'have you read any books lately' could be such a lovely subject#I'm sometimes socially awkward despite being a huge extrovert. that's why etiquette is such a great thing#if you don't know how to act around people just stick to the etiquette rules. if they have a problem with it they're not for me anyways
Sorry @darlingdear but I couldn't let this stay in the tags.
I say this as someone who is neurodivergent had grew up very socially awkward, but recently I find the "screw small talk, I wanna get to know the REAL you" attitude to be pretentious as well as a demonstration of a lack of boundaries.
But also, I think a lot of people who have this attitude don't actually really know what does qualify as small talk. The definition of small talk is any topic that's of no real consequence and includes topics like food, pets, sports, music, whatever show you're currently streaming, whatever book you're currently reading, and yes, the weather. A lot of people who have this "I hate small talk / I don't do small talk" attitude probably think it's only reciting a bunch of secret scripts about the weather, and don't realize how much they engage in small talk whenever they talk about their pets or their favorite foods or the really cool show they're watching right now.
Small talk is just about boundaries and getting to know someone *before* you move into more serious and personal topics. The older I get the more I learn you really can't just trust anyone with more serious and personal subjects. Small talk first is important to gauge if they're someone safe and trustworthy first before moving into more serious and personal subjects. If you really genuinely refuse to get to know someone before immediately discussing serious and personal subjects you may have an issue with boundaries and should consider working on that.
Oh my god, so much the last point. All of them, but especially the last.
Small talk is a way of sounding out a personâs attitudes. Itâs about finding out if theyâre a rabid asshole or someone you want to spend more time with.
I had a professor who got angry at a group of (mostly women), from five countries, all of whom met yesterday, for talking about daytime TV. He basically insulted us and called us shallow.
Dude, we were figuring each other out with a safe topic! We were the best of friends three weeks later. We could broach harder topics because we understood each otherâs boundaries better. If you immediately demand people bare their souls, youâre not likely to get them to be honest.
lets frolic as paleolithic horses together
"why are so many leftists disabled" maybe it's because disabled people don't really care for the "kill all disabled people" parties but who can say
it would suck being a new immortal. like itâd be 2109 and people would go, âwhat was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?â and iâd just be like, ânoâŚno i was born in 1991. so like, wow iâm gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean iâm not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. donât think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.â
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. âWhat was it like seeing the pyramids being built?â âFuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.â âOh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?â âI fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.â
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We donât even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a âprecursorâ ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascarâs current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascarâs human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone elseâs pet Major Event.
Itâs been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyoneâs left to it.

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But seriously though. Learning to draw fat people will make you a much better artist. Understanding how skin and fat behaves and folds in certain poses, and being able to adapt complex poses to fit a fat body (as usually references are with thin models) will help you TREMENDOUSLY. Drawing fat being properly affected by gravity will aid you in ALL figure drawing in the future. Like if you have any sort of interest in drawing humanoid figures (AND furries) you really ought to learn how to draw fat of all kind.
Gentle reminder that the human eye is naturally drawn by noise and movement, so the next time you walk into a crowd or a bit late into a lecture or something like that, theyâre not staring at you or judging; itâs just an instinctive reaction that has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong.
This really helps my anxiety.
Itâs literally a threat assessment/food gathering instinct. The steps your brain is doing, subconsciously.Â
-Check to see if movement is lion in grass.
-Also check to see if possible game animal and edible.Â
-No itâs just Dave getting into lecture hall a few minutes late.Â
-Thatâs boring.Â
-Lose interest.Â
I like to believe that for a brief second, everyone looks at me thinking I might be a snack
via @vibratoryblurriness, thank you. social anxiety is successfully replaced with a mild amount of mortal fear
hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking
⌠I am the rude and annoying people causing this post because wtf wtf
"Even cis men?" is the obvious response to my stance that practically anyone can be lesbians, and to answer with another question: are any cis men actually doing that to begin with? I mean, unironically, not as a joke? Because I don't think they are. Generally cis men aren't not going to sincerely identify with the term the way cis women and trans people will. Cis men essentially self-regulate themselves out of the definition without anyone needing to make that definition have concrete limits.
Whether it's WLW, transmascs who drove through Dykeville to get where they are now, or anyone else, you should assume someone calling themselves a lesbian has a good reason for doing so.
The only âcis menâ i knew to use the label are the ones who lamented âi wish i could be a lesbian but unfortunately im a cis manâ approximately a month before Realizing something about themselves and I will always ALWAYS maintain that being gentle about what that could mean for them is the right answer and not âomg youâre trying to prey on lesbiansâ
The two types of people to âjokinglyâ identify as a label:
1. Asshole trying to be edgy. If youre mad they double down, if you go ok ill call you that, they freak out and distance themselves from the label
2. Someone trying to figure themselves out
In both scenarios, using what they insist they are brings out the best outcome, and assuming someone is a 1 when they are a 2 and being hostile will only (shockingly) make it harder for them to come to terms with their identity
and of course, i've said this before, but: if a cis man genuinely identifies with the label "lesbian" and is NOT joking about it, who cares? if someone feels like their attraction to women is queer even if they are ostensibly cisgender, that's none of my business and it's weird that people think it's theirs. what happened to the era of not asking people invasive questions about their gender, genitals, and sexuality?
sometimes you really just need to draw the tragic lil anime wolves from your childhood in ms paint...
#relatable am i right??

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*cptsd voice*
yeah I just think it's about time to put all this behind me for a fresh start
Why hasnât this been done before?
You know why.
Second year medic, Malone Mukwende, has been working with staff members as part of a student-staff partnership project looking at clinical t
Cause racial health disparitiesâŚ
I hope this gets published
It is available for download as a pdf from their website. www.blackandbrownskin.co.uk/mindthegap
Hey, if anyoneâs curious, this IS making a serious impact â this handbook was taught as standard practice for my EMT license course, as well as several other programs. A lot of new providers are being taught this as a matter of course.