you can never go back. this is your one life. you had a bad childhood and that's it. you lost your teen years to mental illness and that's it. you're miserable in your 20s and that's it. you just go forward

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@timegrief
you can never go back. this is your one life. you had a bad childhood and that's it. you lost your teen years to mental illness and that's it. you're miserable in your 20s and that's it. you just go forward

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I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first
i’m doing really well for someone who goes through the five stages of grief every day
i’m doing really well for someone who goes through the five stages of grief every day
i’m doing really well for someone who goes through the five stages of grief every day

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My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.
I would like to clarify that this animal self feeds and is not being denied breakfast by my sleeping in. He doesn't do this to anyone else. Everyone else simply gets increasingly invasive headbutts and even thats a fairly rare occurence. This fucking cat needs to cuddle with me specifically, And he is decided that the best way to do it is to gently shove his claws underneath my eyelashes and pull. There is no way I can train him out of this because believe it or not shoving your fingers in somebody's eyes to wake them up has the desired reaction.
We have come to a compromise. One that neatly illustrates the reason I'm not wearing an eyemask.
If I have a hair tie on my wrist, my darling sweet baby boy, love of my life and apple of my eye, can gingerly dig his teeth underneath and grab it in his mouth and then back up. and pull. And Snap the hell out of me with the elastic. Again, he is very gentle and precise, there are never teeth touching my skin. This is not a fluke, he managed this several times in various circumstances and positions.
This is worse than a toddler. We are approaching diabolical machinations hitherto undreamt of by domestic felines.
Behold, Prince Shithead himself.
sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and i'm losing sense of time
those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine
Being small Nobody quite recovers from being a child: the asymmetry of power between parents and children always leaves a trace
@danigotthots powder lol

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i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks
Age regressing to 22
Writing 和風細雨 (he2feng1xi4yu3; gentle breeze and light rain) with a cat's tail on a water-writing mat.
Water-writing mats turn black when wet and return to their original colour once dry, so they are often used to practise calligraphy with water. The black colour allows you to see your writing clearly, and the mat can be reused as soon as the writing dries and disappears.
[eng by me]
somewhere between idgaf and vomiting from anxiety
age regressing but i don't end up a cute kid like you wanted im just a stupid scummy stoner teenager who's so unfuckably smug and self centered you fantasize about crating and ditching me off the closest freeway

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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everyone wants masc carpenter trade until his rough calloused handjob sands your thing down small and smooth as a river stone
i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]