okay so we all understand that sexual attraction doesn't always lead to sex. are we ready to consider that romantic attraction doesn't always lead to romance.
and i dont mean this in a "its for your own good we dont date" way, or a "they got turned down and are still friends" way, i mean it in a "there is romantic attraction present but the one experiencing it doesnt want to do anything with it" way. am i making sense. are you hearing the words im saying. it wont fucking kill you if you dont act on it. like obviously you should probably communicate it someday but you dont have to let it dictate you or consume you. its just a feeling.
I've had multiple hook up partners who were clearly very into my personality and stuff in a more than just sexual way, but knew I was aromantic so they'd just bend over backwards to say that they were so into me platonically, only platonically, they thought I was sooooo cool but only in a friend way. And it just was obviously not true. And I had to be like "hey. You are allowed to be romantically attracted to me, you know? That's a feeling. You don't control your feelings. Me being aromantic doesn't mean you're supposed to somehow stop having certain feelings? That isn't how it works? And you're not a dick for having feelings? You're only a dick if you expect them to be reciprocated or for them to turn into an actual romantic relationship when I made it clear that wouldn't happen from the start."
Like. It really troubles me that people apparently think they aren't supposed to have feelings for aromantic people because that implies they can't actually wrap their head around having romantic feelings and then not doing anything about it. And that's like. Really really troubling from a consent perspective.
Like. Alloromantics really don't seem to have the concept of "feeling romantic attraction and just not doing anything about it and seeing it as morally neutral because it's just a feeling" and I think that's a huge problem.
