my life is an enormous shitpost

bela fujoshi’s dead

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

sports bra and boxers can be lingerie if you're enlightened and impure of heart

The beautiful ship coming in to harbor:

i will replace chatgpt

"theyre giving he man pronouns" is one of the funniest things ive heard recently. i cant stop thinking about it. he man. the man with a pronoun in his name. he. theyre giving he man pronouns. incredible

whoever placed a curse on me fuck you

woah dude..... your hurt sound is vaguely sexual..... im trying to kill you but im. im getting a bit flustered

who is leon dbd

ok i looked up leon dead by daylight and omfg why does he... wh.... why does he sound like that

if they didn't want me to pick at my skin why did they make it so fun?

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"