Pornhub for Enterprise™

>start preparing dumplings

>immediately gets a boaner

ROUND 4 — Match 4 of 34

The Master (Doctor Who)

Problematic because: "the master is basically the doctor’s worst friend from school if that friend kept trying to conquer planets, steal bodies, start cults, weaponise alien tech, and make the doctor emotionally miserable for sport. they’re a renegade time lord, like the doctor, but instead of travelling around helping people, they usually turn up with some plan involving mind control, political takeover, mass death, or “i am in charge now because i said so.” the classic era already has plenty - in logopolis, the master kills nyssa’s father tremas by taking over his body, then messes with logopolis badly enough that the doctor is warned it could cause universal disaster. new who just makes the scale even worse. as harold saxon, the master becomes prime minister, murders the us president on tv, uses the toclafane to conquer earth, keeps the doctor aged and helpless, and turns martha’s family and jack into prisoners/slaves on the valiant for a whole year. then in the end of time, he turns almost the entire human race into copies of himself, because apparently normal tyranny wasn’t personal enough. and that’s before missy and dhawan!master. missy builds an “afterlife” that uploads the minds of dead people so they can be turned into cybermen, which is a genuinely horrible thing to do even by master standards. dhawan!master destroys gallifrey, turns dead time lords into cybermasters, and later tries to force the doctor to regenerate into him so he can use her identity as a weapon. so yes: murder, body theft, mass manipulation, political dictatorship, cyberman crimes, gallifrey crimes, earth crimes, doctor-specific emotional terrorism, and a level of clinginess that should probably require a restraining order across time and space." Propaganda: 1. "they are not just evil, they are ANNOYING about it. every plan has to involve theatre. every betrayal has to be personal. every time the doctor tries to move on, the master appears like “hello :) did you miss me :) i have ruined another government.” i love them because the relationship with the doctor is so messy. they hate each other, love each other, understand each other too well, keep trying to save or destroy each other depending on the day, and somehow make “we went to school together” sound like the most dangerous backstory in the universe." 2. "The Master is so funny as a recurring villain because no matter the incarnation, the basic energy is always: I am smarter than everyone, I should be in charge, the Doctor is obsessed with me specifically, and if any of that is untrue I will make it everyone’s problem. Delgado has evil charm, Ainley has panto menace, Roberts is doing whatever the TV movie was doing bless him, Simm is feral, Missy is flirting with redemption and murder in the same sentence, Dhawan looks like he’s one bad conversation away from biting through the furniture. They’ve done basically every kind of villain nonsense available: hypnosis, disguises, political coups, body theft, Cybermen, fake afterlives, dead Time Lord armies, forced regeneration, turning humanity into themself, refusing to die politely. But the reason they work is that it’s always personal with the Doctor. The Master doesn’t just want to win, they want the Doctor to watch, react, argue, understand, maybe join in, maybe stop them, preferably all at once. Absolute nightmare bestie."

vs. Akane Kurashiki (Zero Escape)

Problematic because: "(Spoilers for the first game) Akane kidnapped people to play a death game and even manipulated others so they would die. However, her reasoning for doing all of this is tosave her own life, because seeing the future when she was a child that saved her life, as well as revenge for being put through that situation in the first place. She believes in ends justify the means wholeheartedly, and while the narrative and I personally forgive her for what she did, I can see others who would find it problematic." Propaganda: "Akane will do anything to achieve the "good end" including let herself die in whatever timeline she's in, or let other people kill each other. She's one of the most well-written female characters I've ever seen. Please support women's wrongs!!!"

you are alone. it has always been this way.

you learn there were others like you, once. they are gone now. you are the last

when you go looking for your people, no one in society ever takes you for what you are. it takes literal magic to make people see you as a unicorn.

nearly the only ones who recognize you want to drive you off the ends of the earth for their own pleasure. you will not survive if you live as you are

you are given a new body. it is wrong. it is wrong and you begin to forget yourself. you’re losing track of time and you don’t even remember why you first set out. you are a unicorn in a human body, and you are dying because of it.

your human body does nothing to protect you. the tables have turned and your worst enemies see you, despite the body you’re in. they want to drive you into the sea, where they have driven the rest of your people

It has become genre typical to treat the Hounds as disposable, worthless, replaceable, etc, and that kind of degradation is now baked in.

But that’s never what I wanted out of it.