hm.

What the fuck is radiation. "Hey there's this invisible force with the magical power to move every single molecule in your body a little bit to the left. Consequently you shit blood and die."

The heros journey keeps trying to get me but ive been unloading an entire clip of 9mm into every mentor that tries to teach me anything. Ive killed 7 wizards this way.

Refusal of the Call

if I were a fish id be enjoying the fuck out of those dusty little fish food pellets. imagine a life where you can fly and every day wet food begins raining from the sky. such is the life of the humble pet fish

turn up the harpsichord i cant hear the harpsichord

dr. macklemore (podiatrist): i fix your granddads toes

The fact that Qifrey and the kids and the fandom and the hecking narration and really even Olly himself all bully Olruggio for drinking excessively but the only time we ever actually see him "overindulge" is in the does-this-count-as-canon kitchen spinoff and there he's half-asleep and refusing refills three drinks in while Qifrey's pouting about how he was just getting started. Slander and libel on Olly's good name. That man is an occasional social drinker who got slightly tipsy at a fancy arts patronage fundraiser one year and no one ever let him live it down. and Qifrey is a functional alcoholic wine mom.

and yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows

murder suicide is awesome to me bc its like annnnnd im coming with you

All my doubters become routers when I admin the network of success