Just go to Wonderland

Lengthy post ahead

On completing my rewatch of Naruto part I and part II, many things which never made sense started to make sense. One among them is the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. I used to ask why Naruto is going so far for Sasuke. And why Sasuke is helping out Naruto even though he wants to kill him. And I used to think that Episode 478 was retconned to make the final battle ends in a draw and Sasuke somehow made to reconcile with the titular character. Yet, I instinctively felt, ‘Something is very different about them’. But on careful rewatch, all the clues which consolidate their relationship was there. The way they love each other is totally on a different level and the creator very carefully planned this from the beginning of the Manga.

Though I really don’t like the ending for making every characters into a child rearing machine at an age of 20 to make way for an abomination called ‘Boruto’, I still loved everything till Episode 479.

I wanted to discuss about both Naruto and Sasuke’s perspective. But that cannot be accommodated in a single post. So, I decided to start with Sasuke. Since Naruto’s side of SNS is very open and vocal, we clearly knew what is going on in his mind. But Sasuke’s side is usually very subtle but much more intense than Naruto which makes it worth analyzing.

In a world full of hate and constant back and forth of “you hurt me so I have the right to hurt you back”, a world that perpetuates the cycle of revenge, he’s the only one keeping the hurt to himself. Can you imagine how much love he has to have, how good he has to be, to not reveal to Wen Kexing how he only has 5 days left to live and how that’s a direct consequence of Wen Kexing’s actions? (And let’s just make it clear, I don’t think he ever plans on telling him. He can’t stop Wen Kexing from knowing he’s going to die, but he won’t tell him why he forced the nails out.)

It would be so easy in the haze of pain, sadness and anger he’s in to lash out, and he honestly has so much right to do so? If Old Wen had told him about his plans, A-Xu would not have forced the nails out without a care for his life and they could have spent so much more time together. And yet, after swallowing the initial wave of emotions, he decides to forgive Wen Kexing by punishing him with 3 bottles of liquor and keep the hurt to himself.

In his mind, it’s enough that he’s hurting, he doesn’t need to drag Old Wen down with him when he could at least make sure that Wen Kexing fully enjoys those last 4-5 days he has, especially after seeing how happy he is to finally be free of his Ghost Valley shackles. A-Xu simply cannot bring himself to hurt Wen Kexing that way yet.

So instead of telling him as many probably expected, he decides to stay silent and live out the last days fully. In his mind, his death sentence is irreversible at this point, so telling Wen Kexing about it will only hurt them both. He doesn’t think there’s any hope for him so he chooses to bury that secret with him rather than feel that vindictive satisfaction of hurting back the person who caused him needless pain.

And the thing that kills me the most is that he’s obviously hurting.

He didn’t let himself cry when Wen Kexing died, he didn’t cry when he forced the nails out and yet, he couldn’t hold the tears back as he looked at Wen Kexing after his return. He must be feeling so much regret over what they could have had and the time that should have been theirs, so much so that he could not stop the tears from falling even when he’s clearly trying so hard to put on a brave face.

2019.6.20

🎂🎉 to Dancy～ ♥️

Magic Shop Jungkook commission for @sweetyarnheart  😊