Blorbos From My DnD Games

dragon bf that takes you to his cave, picks you up, then lays you on his pile of gold and jewels and says you’re his greatest treasure

and then he fucks you?

yeah and then he fucks you

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

Political beliefs: boxer briefs and a tank top counts as lingerie.

birds are so privileged for being able to sit on top of street lamps and judge people. i wish i was up there

incredibly empathetic of me to not skin you alive btw

More things need to be blue raspberry flavored

well maybe my path to getting revenge wouldn't be so bloody and destructive if people didn't keep getting in my way to lecture me about how bloody and destructive a path it is

you take up a sword to kill one guy and suddenly everyone thinks it's a smart idea to get on your nerves. come on people.

I’ve got a sixth sense it’s called paranoia

Basically you can eat food off the ground and it.makes you stornger