you are an ancient, absent god

@copperbadge

Chicagoans will just do shit like this.

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

Tumblr is the program guide to the circuses.

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)

My grandfather got the GI bill after the war and decided to become a chemist. He was a year into his degree when he spilled something on himself in the lab. The way he told it, he watched whatever it was start to dissolve the leather apron he was wearing, thought about what it might be doing to his lungs, and after calmly removing the apron, became an architect instead. I think chemists are Like That because the sane ones all self-selected out of the pool.

What in the unholy fuck is that???

Lasandwich

I’ve been on this earth for 28 slutty, slutty years and I’ve never ever heard of canned sandwiches. What the fuck kind of alternate universe did this post come from

forcing my boyfriend to wear his fursuit to our wedding

*in the fantasy rpg character creator making a tired, middle-aged woman* yeah i'll add a scar across her eye, i'm not driving