Real talk, Bulbasaur would be the best pet ever if it was real, let me list you some reasons of why:

Sleep Powder when you can’t sleep

Sweet Scent when you are tired or anxious

Vines to reach far things or lift stuff or swing like Spiderman

Razor Leaf to cut things or gardening

Solar Beam would be like a WMD threat to your enemies

Bulbasaur can take care of other animals

Doesn’t need food as long there’s sun, so you don’t worry about him.

Nature control

Rules over other creatures like a real dinosaur

It never dies of hunger and its speed doubles under the sun, so you got a scary plant dinosaur in day time

Won’t flood your home and mess stuff or burn it down, it’s calm and smart.

evolves to a badass beast

He’s too freaking strong

up for hugs

He’s one of most loyal Pokemon ever

He can dance

punchbuggydragon:

breelandwalker:

irontargaryen:

*cracks neck* my time has come

Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.

Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.

Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.

Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.

Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS.

You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.

Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)

Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.

Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.

And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.

Basically this

if you are in an SUV style vehicle or newer model car you may be able to find the automatic trunk release wire, pull on it, it will pop the trunk