You Are Not Your Fucking Khakis

Growing out my hair !! I’ve also reached a new milestone and am 2 years on t now!! Hope you all have been doing well too!

Hello world, so I’ve been using packers for the last 6 years and I have just come across this gem. I have this pair of boxer briefs (with the longer pant leg) and from being worn and washed countless times they have developed a hole. Basically now they look like underwear but the whole crotch part is gone.. joeys crotch less panties man style. I can still put the shaft of my packer through my boxer’s fly leaving the balls underneath the fly but slightly exposed due the boxers having no crotch. I have worn packing built boxers and I have worn harnesses and this is by far the most natural, comfortable packing experience I ever had. For extra support I wear regular boxers over it and I love the feeling of it just kinda hanging but still sturdy. I have not tried this going out yet but I have been packing like this at home for the last few weeks. If you guys still can’t feel what I’m saying just let me know and I can upload a picture for reference. Pass it on, folks!

Went on an adventure today with my hubby and one of our new friends. A year and 2 months on t, one of first adventures being 22. Loved every moment of it and learned lots about courage and challenges and how we can overcome anxiety and trouble and still have a wonderful day. Get outside, go on an adventure, go outside of your comfort zone. If you can’t do it now than when?

I did my shot while camping and omg, it was the best shot I have ever had. I definitely recommend to my fellow transitioning siblings to try it out! I get really bad shot anxiety and that was by far the least amount of shot anxiety I have ever had.

Finally went camping this weekend with my hubby. Here’s some of my favorite moments.

Here’s some pics of me, i am over a year on t now!! Bottom pic is 8 months. White boxers pic is a year before hormones. Red boxer pics were taken a year and 2 weeks on t

My dysphoria has been bad again over the last couple weeks. I have been experiencing phantom dick shit and all of a sudden have been feeling very aware of size and stuff. Lately I guess I just have been extra sensitive with my triggers for bottom dysphoria. Most of this dysphoria has been caused by my recent realization that I do not think that phalloplasty is right for me, due to high percentage of complications, the amount of surgeries needed for everything I want, how fragile my dick/donor sights are, etc etc etc etc. however, meta is great and all but honestly the size of it is very very difficult for me to get my head around. I do love everything else about it though, just being able to penetrate the way that I would like is pretty important to me. I also can’t wrap my head around going through with something that is so lengthy, dangerous, pricy, etc for something that is not adequate to me enough personally. I am the kind of person that really likes knowing what my plan is, so for me to not know what my plan is to fight my bottom dysphoria has been kinda making me feel hopeless. COVID19 stopping the making of my packer that I had just finally been able to order after packing with a packer in horrible condition has not been helping either. I just have been feeling very very crippled from my feelings and triggers and just over all everything that is associated with my lower dysphoria. I just want to feel whole and I am so tired of feeling so at war with myself with this shit. Anyone who reads this thank you, and I hope if you are experiencing dysphoria currently know that it is okay, whatever you’re feeling it’s alright, and although that it feels horrible, do not end dysphoria with a permenent solution.

Coming up on 10 months on t and I can’t believe the person that I am seeing in the mirror now. Things get better slowly but surely!

I think that is all for now.

8 months or so on t. I am starting to really love who I am seeing in the mirror.