Life Is BS

I really don’t know why I’m still here, I want to end it so badly, I wish I had the courage to kill myself. I hate myself so bad. I can’t stand being in my own skin. I want to stop having to deal with other people, with so many emotions. I hate myself so fucking much.

Nobody will notice I want to die until it’s too late. I’m so tired of being here. I can’t wait for the day I don’t ever have to remember how much of a loser I am. It’s not the easy way out if you have to contemplate it so many times before going through with it. I wish I was brave enough to do so. I wish I didn’t have 2 cats relying on me. They’re the only thing keeping me here. I’d be gone by now otherwise. I hate myself so so much. Nobody cares or seems to notice. Wish I could just be a normal human being and not a fucking failure and waste of space. I didn’t ask to be here. I don’t know why I made it this far. I hate myself. I hate that I’m pulling away from my friends. I just don’t have energy to want to go anywhere. I hate getting ready. I hate that this is the only place I can rant without people acting like they care. I know they don’t. I’m annoying. I’m lazy. I’m a loser. It’s no wonder my best friend left me. She knew I wasn’t going to ever do anything with my life. She knew I was a loser before I did.

I don’t think I want to stay any longer and I’m getting closer to doing what I should’ve done a long time ago.

I’ll never be in love, I’ll never have a family and I don’t contribute to life in any way. Why am I here? Shit doesn’t make sense.

The only thing keeping me here is my cats.

I don’t think there’s another human being as useless as me on this planet. Why was I born? I wasn’t even supposed to be born, I wish I wouldn’t have made it. I’ll never do anything meaningful with my life. I’m just wasting away.