An Erratic Farrago

All these poems about

lovers growing old together

and not a single one about

best friends

so we call this underrated,

because we're not

the power couple kissing in

yearbook pictures

or grandma and grandpa

sharing a dry fruit falooda

or hashtag relationship goals

or "till death do us part"

but I promise to outlive

every toxic boyfriend you

ever dated through high school

and help you dye your white hair

back to teenage neon blue

as long as you return the favour

and I know we'll never be

romantic enough for

the romantics but listen

you're still my better half

no matter who's in my life

unless of course, Brad Pitt

decides to marry me

and gets down on one knee

but the truth is one day we'll

be shopping for hearing aids

and you'll have a walking stick

and I, a hump on my back

our hands will get wrinkled

but don't worry, I promise you

we'll still buy glitter nail polish

and go for pricey manicures

two seventy-year-old girls

waking up with hangovers

the size of goddesses

going to Goa for birthdays

doing sleepovers on Sundays

gossiping through flying time

we're like two words that rhyme

taking perfect selfies together

at eighty or even ninety, sister

some with false teeth on

and some without

calling each other hot

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)